


Night Flight

by Zepwho



Category: Jimmy Page - Fandom, Led Zeppelin, Robert Plant - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Loss, M/M, Music, References to Canon, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 41,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22052215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zepwho/pseuds/Zepwho
Summary: After Jimmy and Robert's secret has been discovered, they are trying to somehow make life without each other work. But some things are too strong to ignore. Love finds a way, they say, but do Jimmy and Robert have the courage they need? Are they prepared to lose everything for each other?
Relationships: Jimmy Page/Robert Plant
Comments: 116
Kudos: 86





	1. I can’t quit you – part 1

A light dusting of snow had fallen overnight in Morocco’s high Atlas Mountains. It reached the mountainsides around Toubkal, its highest peak, but the bright, early sunlight already started to lick at the snow and melt it. Opposite the impressive peak stood a traditional square hut, built out of brown mud and stone, with a large balcony facing towards the Atlas’ mountains' highest range. On closer inspection, it became obvious that the stone hut had been subtly transformed to suit adventurous tourists who also sought a touch of luxury: Two large tubs with date palm trees decorated the raised patio’s edges and there was a cast iron table and two chair welcoming weary mountaineers. 

The view from above also revealed a small courtyard to the back of the house, enclosed by stone walls. More date palms grew in it and exotic, flowery bushes adorned the walls. In the paved middle stood a wooden hot tub, the lid closed now, with two sun launchers next to it.  
Inside the hut’s bedroom stood a king-seized bed, covered with fresh white linen sheets. Two men lay in it, arms and legs so tightly tangled up in each other that it was hard to tell which limb belonged to whom. Their heads were nuzzled against each other. Both had long hair. One sported a mass of magnificent, wild grey curls around his large face that looked as if it had seen it all. Criss-cross lines over his forehead, deep wrinkles around his now peacefully closed eyes. A fine, straight nose and a little grey, stubbly beard on his upper lip and chin. Even in his sleep, he appeared majestic and strong. 

The other sleeper could not look more different. His long hair was fine, thin and as white as the snow that had fallen outside. He had a beautiful, round face, comparatively smooth for his age, but with fine wrinkles behind his eyes over his temples that indicated that he would look adorable if he smiled. He had an elegant, large forehead with fine, parallel lines across it, a delicate small nose. He was cleanly shaven, which showed his gentle, round chin and long, elegant neck. He was slight and looked small compared to the other man.  
The smaller man moved and nuzzled himself closer to the other man, who moved as well now. Gently pulling the other one closer to him. The larger man mumbled, still half asleep: “It’s alright, my Jimmy baby. I’ve got you.” Then he kissed the tall forehead next to him. “I love you so, so much. Since the day I first met you. Nothing, nothing ever stopped me from loving you, don’t you ever forget that.”  
The other man sighed deeply: “I know, Robert, my love. I know. I love you too. More than words can ever express. Always have, always will.”  
The lay quietly like this, both thinking the same: for the past week, they had gone through their early records, photos, notes, texts of the beginnings of two extraordinary lives. They had known great success and even greater joy. But they had also fallen hard and painfully, over and over again. Lost each other and then found each other again. Neither had ever been far from the other one’s mind, however much life had tried to separate them. 

Later that day, they returned to their spare room, full of large, sturdy black boxes. Robert sighed. The last folders they had looked at had stirred up painful memories. After the stellar success of their new band, Led Zeppelin, and a handful of kind, trustworthy people who supported and protected their love, their world had been shattered harshly by their own management. They had no choice. They could no longer continue to love each other in the way they had so far. They had to find new ways, but it was tearing them apart. “Couldn’t we just jump ahead? Leave out a few pages?” Robert suggested. Jimmy shook his pretty head slowly. “No love. That wouldn’t make sense. Didn’t we say we wanted to go through everything?” Robert nodded slowly, grey curls falling into his eyes. “Hmm, right. But please, will you sit in my lap?” The slighter man happily complied. He picked up the next large folder and snuggled up to his love.  
\---  
“I need to speak to him! Alone!” Jimmy said, his jade-green eyes full of despair. His minder looked uncertain. “I have promised G and Richard not to let you out of my sight.” Jimmy buried his fine, pale face in his long, slender hands. How they had managed to finish the last tour, he didn’t know. Only the music had kept them going. At least on stage, no-one could come between him and Robert. Their music was now their only means of uniting with each other. “Sometimes I get so worried, sometimes I get so blue. Just one thing, I can never now do. I can’t quit you baby”. Robert sang, alone, mournfully, his eyes closed, his beautiful young face full of sadness. To his left, a guitar answered, wailing, thundering, shattering. Angry. Robert wanted to walk off the stage and cry.

After their last American tour late in 1969, they ‘d at least had Christmas off. Robert tried his hardest to be cheerful for his family, his little sister and especially Carmen, his young daughter. But he wasn’t particularly good at it. His mum had asked him if he was ill. Because he looked so thin and pale. Then she had attributed it to all the stress he had had last year.  
At least he had been able to tell Maureen, his wife who was his best friend and fully aware that neither of them considered the other the love of their lives. She had been supportive of Robert’s relationship with Jimmy from the start, being relieved that he had fallen in love with a man and not another woman. She had been devastated when Robert told her that he could no longer be with Jimmy and how brutal their management had torn them apart. They had both cried at the unfairness of the world and its painful ignorance and prejudices.

If anything, it had been worse for Jimmy over Christmas. He had no one he could confide in. Patricia, his mother fussed over him. “Oh James, my darling, you look dreadful. Do you ever eat anything?” But he didn’t feel like eating. Or sleeping. He could barely hold himself together around his family but when he was alone, he’d mostly laid down and cried. Or he’d sit with his guitar in his lap, playing the saddest melodies he could think of. He felt as if his guitar was the only one who understood him.  
But clearly his parents didn’t. “James, me and your mother need to talk to you.” James senior told Jimmy after boxing day dinner, which lay cold in front of him, untouched. “Look, me and your mother are worried about you. All this music business, it’s not doing you any good. I bet there are drugs and you drink and smoke too much. James, we have heard the stories, it’s not healthy.” Jimmy felt so disappointed. His father clearly had no trust in him. Patricia gently touched her son’s thin arm. “Darling, don’t get me wrong. We really are proud of what you have achieved. But you are almost 26 now. You still aren’t married. I would love to have a grandchild. You are our only child, James.” Oh, here we go again, Jimmy thought, bitterly. “I’m sure a kind woman could mend whatever troubles you, my son” his father added.

And here they were, on Jimmy’s 26th birthday, half an hour before they were due to play their concert at the renowned Albert Hall in London. He only wanted one thing for his birthday. Five minutes. Five minutes alone with Robert. That’s all he asked for.  
When he saw Robert walking around backstage, his minder close to his heels, Jimmy finally snapped. “Listen!” He said to his minder “£100 for you and your mate over there” indicating to Robert’s minder “if you get him to leave me and Robert alone for five bloody minutes. He is my singer and my front-man.” His minder still looked suspicious. “Why do you need to speak to him alone?” Think Jimmy, think. “Because…I need to discuss the set list with him. Alone. There will be surprises tonight and neither you nor the other bloke need to know.” At last, his minder shifted. “Fine. Promise that this stays between us. G and Richard must not find out or I lose my job.”

Then he gestured to the other minder who came over, a reluctant Robert two steps behind him. Neither musician dared to look up. Jimmy’s minder opened a small backroom door. “Here. Be quick.” Robert and Jimmy found themselves alone, in the almost darkness of the stuffy, tiny room. Nothing, nothing in the world could stop Jimmy now. He threw himself at Robert with all his might, shaking all over. Robert responded. Held him tight. “Shhh, baby, shhh, I love you so, so much. But we can’t…you know we can’t”. Jimmy sobbed now. “Robert, I know. I can’t take it anymore!” Robert’s throat constricted and he could barely answer. “Jimmy, remember. Love under will. Maybe…. maybe you need to take control.” Jimmy sobbed again. “What…what do you mean?” Robert pressed Jimmy closer to him. “You know that this is the last thing I want to say. But we do not have a choice. Sweetest baby, Jimmy, I will always love you. But maybe, if you had someone else…to take the physical pressure off.” Jimmy cried louder. “No, Robert! Not you as well! Wait, are you back with Maureen?” Robert shook his head. “No, dearest. But at least I have someone I can confide in. You need…someone too.”  
\--  
G and Richard had organised a magnificent 26th birthday party for Jimmy after the show. Robert, however, asked his driver to take him straight back to Jennings farm. Jimmy wished he could leave too, but there was no way out. Richard sidled up to him. “Hey, birthday boy, you look miserable. Come, I’ve got something you.” Anything. Anything to numb the pain, Jimmy thought. He was introduced to cocaine that night and together with alcohol, it seemed to be surprisingly effective. At least for a bit. Jimmy did cheer up. There were a horde of beautiful girls as always and to Richard and G’s great relief, Jimmy soon found himself surrounded. Someone called Richard away and told him that there were two late guests. First, he protested that it was a closed event, then he was told who was there and very quickly changed his mind.

“Jimmy, may I introduce you to the Foxy Lady herself, the one and only Heather Taylor! Dating Roger Daltrey at the moment” Richard announced, proudly. Jimmy looked at the tall, leggy redhead. A stunning woman. If she was dating Roger Daltrey, she would probably not try to drag Jimmy to bed later tonight. Then she turned around. “And Jimmy, this is my dear friend, Charlotte Martin. She is a model too, like me. From France. Charlotte, this is the great Jimmy Page.” 

In the early hours that morning, Jimmy found himself naked in a large, luxurious bed, covered in black satin sheets. But he had never felt more uncomfortable in his life. He felt exposed and dirty. Next to him lay the beautiful young woman he had been introduced to by Heather earlier. Charlotte would have turned every man’s head: she was slender and exceptionally well proportioned. Gorgeous, long blonde hair. Most of all, she showed none of the attitude most of the other girls had: she barely wore any makeup and her face looked open, friendly and natural. Her thin fingers and long nails gently caressed the fine black hair around Jimmy’s collarbones.

Jimmy stared at the ceiling. The room was gently illuminated by the bedside light. Don’t cry, Jimmy don’t…a thick, cold tear ran down his temple, then one on the other side. “Aww Jimmy, it’s ok. It can happen to any man.” The pretty girl said next to him with her gentle French accent. Jimmy bit his lip and quietly shook his head. She didn’t understand. Not even all the cocaine or alcohol in the world, not the kindest, prettiest woman could take away the pain that threatened to consume him. “Would you like me to…would you like me to leave?” She asked carefully.

Jimmy continued to stare at the ceiling and nodded. When she got up, his drug dazed brain suddenly saw images flashing in front of him, ghastly and horrible, faces he knew and loved but distorted to look like demons. Richard shouting ‘you just need a good woman to fuck some sense into this pretty, empty head of yours’. G with his voice deep and menacing: ‘You will be so much happier with a kind woman on your side.’ His mother berating him, angrily that he didn’t give her any grandchildren. And then, Robert. His beautiful face surrounded by flames instead of curls. His eyes glowing red and yellow like fire: ‘Love under will! Maybe you need to take control ‘cackling manically. “No!!” Jimmy screamed out, in agony. “Don’t go.”


	2. I can't quit you - part 2

G was a man with a lot of experience. Particularly with delicate, emotional rock stars. He knew that his two main money makers were not in a good place. Not at all. What they needed was some time at home. To bring them back to earth. For the rest of January, he only organised UK tour dates and insisted that the band would be returned home in between as much as possible. Promoters in the US were screaming for more Zeppelin, but G told them that it was either on their terms or no Zeppelin at all. 

Robert noticed that Jimmy was different. He barely looked at him at all, not even on stage. He seemed distracted, even confused. He’d start on the wrong song but wouldn’t let Robert help, like he usually did. At the same time, he seemed strangely…hyper. Dancing around the stage as if his life depended on it and making a mess of his solos, but it seemed that he did not care at all. Robert was greatly unsettled too by now. 

Things weren’t right, at all. But when he looked at the mass of happy faces, when G told him that their albums were still flying off the shelves and when Bonzo told him that he, Pat and Jason were so happy on their farm that they were having another baby, he kept reminding himself that this was not about him. Or Jimmy. They had responsibilities. And he had a family too. He sometimes wanted to walk away and just leave it all behind, but he knew that this would never do. So, he pushed on. 

Between January 24th and February 17th, G gave the band another break. It was Maureen, who made the suggestion. “Robert, you are so good with little Carmen. And she has really taken to you since you’re around more. Look, I’ve always got her. Why don’t you take her and Strider on a little father-daughter-dog holiday? Just the three of you. Somewhere quiet and undisturbed.” Robert thought about it. Yes, that might help a little. “How about that place in Wales you told me about? Where you went to as a child?”

And so, Robert found himself alone, with his little girl and Strider in the wilderness in Mid-Wales. It looked just as he had remembered, as if time had stood still. The little white stone cottage greeted him like an old friend, from its perch on the hillside, where it stood surrounded by a meadow and woods. Bron -yr-Aur – so many happy memories. There was something special about this secluded spot, far from the madness of Led Zeppelin, from G and Richard. So far from Jimmy. He sighed. Don’t think of him. For once in your life, don’t think of him. It was easier said than done. 

But during the two weeks Strider, Carmen and the cottage itself made sure that Robert had his hands full. There was no running water, heating or electricity and Robert spent his days like a medieval peasant. He loved it and found that it cleared his mind. He made firewood outside in the cold with no shirt on, he cooked food for Carmen and himself on the old cast-iron wood stove. Robert took Carmen and Strider for long walks through the beautiful countryside. 

Carmen was now walking but her little legs didn’t carry her far, so he scooped her up and put her on his shoulders. He felt lighter than he had for a long while as he walked along the hilltops, his long hair flying in the wind, Carmen laughing with joy on his shoulders and Strider wriggling excitedly around his legs. He finally got to do all the lovely parent things he had missed out for so long: He showed Carmen picture books, helped her feed herself, bathed her, changed her nappies and dirty clothes. He tucked her in at night and kissed her better when she fell over. He felt that he was finally really bonding with his child and it felt good. The two weeks passed too fast and when he got back, he had to admit that Maureen, as always, had been right.  
\--  
But his world was shattered again when Led Zeppelin went on their next European tour. When the band and crew gathered at Heathrow Airport on the 22 of February, Jimmy was not alone. Richard was keen to introduce Robert, faking friendliness. “Ah, Robert! The man himself! Come over! Meet the gorgeous Charlotte, Jimmy’s girlfriend! She will be going on tour with us.” Charlotte was an intuitive woman, and the shy handshake she gave Robert showed that she could sense the tension. Richard promptly dragged Robert away: “Yes, Jimmy now has a proper girlfriend. And don’t you dare meddle with that.” 

During that tour, Jimmy was weirder than ever. Robert noticed that he ignored everyone. On stage, he now went into crazy frenzied solos that could last anything from 10 to 40 minutes. Bonzo got fed up one day, and shouted at Jimmy backstage: “Man, you know you are not the bloody only one on stage there! Fuck Jim, we are supposed to be a band! Not the Jimmy Page show!” Jonesy looked bedraggled. He was a shy, quiet man and did not want to speak up and cause any trouble. But it had even started to rankle him that Jimmy would lift his hand, cut him off in the middle of an important baseline or cut his organ-solos short to push himself forward on stage again. 

Jimmy changed his tactic again the night after. He said “fine, Bonz, have it your way! Play that fucking drum solo of yours in Moby Dick for as long as you can! I challenge you to at least 3o minutes.” Bonzo was rather shocked but the next time, when they reached Moby Dick in their set, he looked at Bonzo, almost crazed and whenever Bonzo tried to end his solo, gave him a sign to continue. And the next time, when Bonzo played his drum solo, Jimmy just disappeared off the stage. When he came back, his eyes were sparkling, and Robert wondered why the tip of his nose looked strangely white. 

After each show, Jimmy would find Charlotte, put his arm around her shoulder and drag her away. Robert was getting increasingly worried. This wasn’t the Jimmy he knew. It hurt like mad to see him go off with someone else every night: still, Robert couldn’t help but worry about Jimmy, nonetheless. 

He tried to speak to G about it, the day after Jimmy had disappeared off stage, but G shrugged it off. “Robert, you worry too much. Jimmy has moved on and you should be glad about that. This little … episode between you, no one will ever know. It’s all grand, my boy.” “It’s not that, Jimmy is…weird. Don’t you notice how manic he is on stage? Careless even? Is that even the same Jimmy who would spent night and day just getting one single track right?” G just shrugged. “I’ve seen it lots of times, when people become famous. They get used to the business; they grow into it. Jimmy is acting no different than any of the other nutters in rock and roll. Only, he is the better guitar player.” Robert wasn’t happy. “But…” “No if’s no buts. It’s all good, don’t you worry your pretty head.”

The next night, Jimmy collapsed on stage. This time, Robert'd had enough. Whilst Jimmy was being revived backstage, Robert gathered Jonesy and Bonzo around him. Robert felt close to tears. “Boys, something is wrong with Jimmy. I truly fear for his sanity!” Jonesy looked sad. “I know. I agree with you. He is not the same Jimmy that we have known the previous year. It’s this business, it does strange things to people. But we have good management. Tour doctors. They’ll look after him.” Then he walked away, his head hung low. 

Just before they went back on stage, Bonzo pulled Robert back on his flowery sleeve. “Mate, you are so blind! Goodness, can’t you see? Our little Jimmy Page has discovered a rock stars’ best friend!” Robert looked bewildered. Outside, the crowd roared and cheered for them to come back on. “You speak in riddles, my friend.” “Oh Robert, you are still so naive! The white powder! Jimmy is snorting it by the truckload! You should try it…how do you think I keep going?” And Bonzo held his finger under his nose and made a sniffing noise. Robert was devastated. Was everyone around him going mad? 

Robert protested when G told them that they would fly to the States again for nearly two months. He dug his heels in “No, no. I’m not going. This is crazy!!” He protested. “Robert, play along now. Think of little Carmen. Would she want a father who’d given up just because he hit a bit of a rough spot?” And so, Robert had gone along. At least, Charlotte stayed behind, but Jimmy’s demeanour changed once again. He was still pretty wild on stage, but he reverted to his shy, quiet and pale self, his “ghost self” as Robert called it in his head when they were travelling or at a hotel. Jimmy did come along to a number of backstage parties, but Robert found him sitting alone, looking aloof and he didn’t want to talk to anyone. 

Robert had only one hope: that he would get to speak to either Ahmed, or Pam and Mike. Someone, someone out there had to understand and help, surely? But strangely, whilst they were pulled and pushed across the continent, neither New York nor San Francisco was on the tour list. Robert tried his best to concentrate on the music as much as he could. At least in his songs, he could scream his burning agony off his naked chest.

When they finally arrived back in England, Robert had made up his mind. He needed the band to come together, but without the craziness of the road. Without G or Richard. With no entourage. Somewhere lonely, quiet and secluded. And as Jimmy was obviously eloped, he had to do the right thing here too. Robert told himself that he had to stop hating Charlotte. She was a sweet, kind woman, he couldn’t wish anyone better for Jimmy. Yes, he decided, he would take them all to Bron-yr-Aur. Acoustic instruments only. And they would all bring their families, including Charlotte.


	3. Caught you smiling at me – part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert has an idea of everyone can move on. But of course, nothing is ever that easy when one has developed feeling like never before.

But of course, as had been the case with all of Robert’s plans recently, this one was almost foiled too. First, Jonesy said that he really needed time with his family. In their own home, alone. Robert understood. Jonesy had been so sad and withdrawn on their last tour, it was obvious that he needed a proper break.   
But then, Bonzo cancelled too. He said much the same as Jonesy. He complained that he had barely spent any time on his cattle farm since he bought it and that he wasn’t even sure what Zoe, his baby daughter looked like.

So, in the end, it was only Maureen, Carmen, Charlotte, Jimmy, Robert, Strider the dog and three trusty roadies that drove up the grassy path to Bron Yr Aur cottage in two rickety Land Rovers. Bron-yr-Aur looked even more inviting in late April, with the meadow in emerald green, the trees around it sprouting their first leaves and the sun starting to feel warm around noon. Robert felt a little more optimistic now, and initially, the atmosphere was almost relaxed. The roadies carried instruments and supplies into the cottage, Maureen got the stove going and Robert made firewood. Strider ran around happily, as if he recognised the place instantly. Charlotte played with little Carmen and sang a nursery rhyme to her. 

Only Jimmy was still Mr Page, the ghost. Despite the mild afternoon sun, he wore his long, grey coat and refused to take it off, even in the house. He’d had his hair cut a little recently and played nervously with his curls, which were much more defined since his hair was shorter. He still ignored everyone. When the roadies brought his guitars in, he grabbed one of them, and wordlessly disappeared upstairs. Robert could hear him play a bit later, and it sounded so sad it tore him up again. No, Robert, don’t, he told himself. We are all here to have a happy time, to move on, to just be…friends.   
Charlotte excused herself and Robert took Carmen off her. He felt as if a knife had been twisted in his gut as he saw her disappear upstairs.   
\--  
Jimmy just couldn’t. Charlotte was so loving and kind to him and he just couldn’t. He sat on the bed, his skinny, naked back turned to her and lit up a cigarette. It had worked a little better when he had enough cocaine in his system, but he hadn’t dared to bring any up here. Charlotte sighed and laid her hand on his back, carefully. “Jimmy, talk to me.” She said, sounding sad. Jimmy just shook his head. “Jimmy! We can’t keep on going like this! You keep pushing me away, all the time.” Jimmy sighed. “I told you. I’m a loner. Now go, leave me in peace. I have music to work on.” That always seemed to be his excuse. Jimmy shrugged into a t-shirt and jeans and picked his guitar up. 

No, she wouldn’t have it this time. She wrangled the guitar off him and started to cry. “Jimmy, why won’t you give me your heart?” Jimmy shook his head silently, not looking up at her. In a toneless voice, he replied “you don’t want to know.” But she was insistent. Suddenly, he turned to face her, and this time, there were tears in his eyes too. He spoke quietly and with deep sadness: “Charlotte, I’m sorry. I can’t give you my heart, because I have none left.” She looked at him, stunned and he continued. “If you must know, my heart has been taken and ripped to shreds.” He threw himself back on the bed and pressed his face into the pillow to stifle his scream. 

And Charlotte knew. “Oh Jimmy, poor James. Now I understand. You have already met the love of your life, haven’t you? And it’s not me.” Without looking up, he nodded into his pillow. “You tried to forget her, with me, didn’t you? But it’s too strong and it doesn’t work.” He nodded again. “James, why aren’t you with her? Has she gone with someone else? No…wait…if it is so strong, it has to be mutual...” Jimmy silently nodded again. “So, why on earth aren’t you together? Doesn’t she love you anymore?” Jimmy sobbed quietly into his pillow. Then he finally turned his head a little, his eyes burning. “He will always love me, Charlotte. I will always, always love him. But we can’t be together. Because the whole fucking world is against us. Because we would destroy others we care about. That’s why.” He buried his head back into his pillow. 

Charlotte looked dazed. Her mind was spinning. Finally, she found her voice again. It sounded unnaturally high. “He?” Jimmy turned over again, just a little. “If you ever, ever tell anyone you will regret it for the rest of your life.” But she shook her head quietly. “Jimmy, of course I won’t tell anyone. I’ll be out of your life, don’t you worry, I knew that this wouldn’t work for a long time. But…I still care about you. I have watched you destroying yourself. You need to find him. Fix this. If he truly loves you…” Jimmy shook his head again. “You don’t understand. It’s not that easy.” He held his breath. “It’s Robert.” 

Outside, Robert slammed his ax down onto the wood as if he wanted to kill someone. Maureen observed him, worriedly. “Robert!” She called out to him. “Robert!” He threw the ax down and looked up. “What?” She came up to him and put her hand on his sweaty, naked shoulder. He turned to her, wiped curls out of his face which fell right back into it. “I’m sorry Maureen. This was a bad idea.” Maureen looked at him, kindly. “No, it wasn’t. Robert, we can work this out.” Robert shook his head. “I can’t. I just can’t bear seeing them together.” She walked up to Robert and gave him a quick hug. Then she stretched up to him and said, very quietly:” I pray you two can work it out. You belong together and I truly hope that this stay here can help you both.” Robert gave her another quick hug. “I think…would you mind if I went for a walk? Try to clear my head.” He grabbed his shirt, whistled for his dog, and left for the woods; his heart heavy as lead.

Maureen was just about to turn back to the cottage, when Charlotte emerged, carrying her luggage. She looked pale and her eyes were red. She had been crying. Maureen rushed up to her. “Oh no, love, what’s the matter? Wait, are you leaving already?” Charlotte sighed. “Maureen, Jimmy told me, finally. I was worried about him from the day I met him. I stupidly thought I could help him but…” she shrugged and trailed off. Then she tried again. “I think we need to leave those two alone. I have left Jimmy.” 

To her surprise, Maureen gave a huge sigh of relief. “Thank goodness for that. I mean… I am sorry… for you.” Charlotte smiled. “Don’t be. It was miserable.” Maureen gave a little understanding laugh. “Tell me about it. I’ve never seen anyone mope and pine that badly!” Charlotte couldn’t help herself. She suddenly felt relieved and a little chuckle escaped her lips: “Well, you haven’t seen Jimmy! I bet you, however bad Robert was pining, Jimmy was worse!” 

The three roadies were just about to leave, but Maureen called them back. “Lads, you couldn’t give us lifts back?” They turned around, surprised. Charlotte gave her sweetest smile. “Change of plans. Our artists need proper peace and quiet or this new album will never happen!” Maureen looked at her with surprise and whispered “smooth, young lady. Respect.” 

Charlotte tried to speak to Jimmy before she left but he had locked himself in his room. Maureen tried too but he didn’t answer, so she called through the door: “Jim, we are leaving. If you really love Robert, you better go and find him! He is out in the woods somewhere!” Then she packed her things, lifted Carmen into her arms, wrote a little note for Robert, and all three bundled into the back of their trusty roadie’s land rover, and left, rumbling down the grassy track.


	4. Caught you smiling at me – part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy finds himself lonely, lost and desperate, far away from home. He is doubting everything, most of all, himself and if Robert could ever forgive him. But he is due to receive help from an unlikely allay.

Finally, Jimmy stirred. He could hear the Land Rover’s noisy engine fade away, and suddenly, it was completely silent. For the first time since that fateful day at Ahmed’s apartment in November, he felt his heart beating again. He clutched his hand to his chest. It was thumping and it was hurting. And every heartbeat screamed “Robert, Robert, Robert!” He sank back. Oh god, what had he done? He hadn’t even fought for Robert. 

He had moped and cried, let himself be drugged and threw himself at the next possible distraction. “Jimmy, you selfish, monstrous idiot” he chided himself. No, this was too important. More important than what his parents wanted, more important than all the fans in the world. More important than the band. Hell, music was the most important thing in his life. But he would give it up, gladly. He remembered G’s words: ‘If you continue to be with each other, you will never play music again.’ He bit his lips and looked at his guitar. Yes, he would give it up. Everything. The Boathouse, the music everything. He heard Robert sing in his mind, bitter and sad, like he had only sounded during their last two tours: ‘then what’s to stop us, pretty baby.’ And then he heard Robert scream. “but what is, and what should never be?!’ But it is, he said to himself. It is. 

He felt a new surge of energy reverberating through his skinny body like he had never did before. He was on his feet before he knew it. “Robert!” He shouted into the silent house, then he ran downstairs and put the next available pair of wellington boots on. They were too large and uncomfortable, but it didn’t matter. He slammed the pretty, bright red door shut behind him and shouted Robert’s name at the top of his lungs. His own echo was all the answer he got.  
He looked at the silent woods around him, the endless hillsides. He wasn’t much of a country person. Oh fuck, where should he even start? Robert was out there somewhere but finding him would be like finding the proverbial needle in a haystack.

He tried to think of some kind of guidance. Wasn’t there any kind of magic? A spell? A ritual? Oh god, he couldn’t think. No. No Jimmy, think of Robert, he told himself. Where would he go? 

Up. Robert would go up. Seek the light. Yes. And he started to walk, as fast as his skinny legs would carry him, up into the woods. At first, he followed a dirt track which turned into a footpath as he moved higher up on the hill. He could see the cottage from here, already looking small in the distance. “Robert!!” He shouted again, but there was no reply. Move on, just move on. He climbed further, but the path ended without a trace. He carried on regardless. Brambles caught his hair; twigs brushed his face and he stumbled over roots. Onward, Jimmy carry on. 

The afternoon sun burned down as he reached a large light-flooded meadow, a flock of sheep grazing peacefully in the distance. He stopped to catch his breath. His lungs burned. Even though he was only wearing a t-shirt and jeans, he was sweating now, and his feet hurt in those big boots. He started to have doubts again. What if Robert had gone into the complete opposite direction? 

Hell, what if he had actually gone to the village pub instead? He sank down into the soft, mossy grass.

What if Robert didn’t even think of him anymore? Or hated him. Yes, that would actually make sense, he felt like he deserved no less. Fight Jimmy, fight! He dragged himself up again and carried on, aimlessly this time. Eventually he found another small path and kept following that for a while. But it led to farm with a large sign on a tree saying "No trespassing". He could hear dogs barking, so he left the path and started his wild climb through the woods again. He stopped every so often and called Robert’s name, to no avail. By now, the sun was sinking lower, sending long shadows through the trees. How late was it? Jimmy had no idea. He had left his watch in Bron -yr- Aur. Maybe Robert was back at the cottage by now. This was useless. Yes, he should go back, wait for him there. He would have to return at some point, because he had left his belongings.

Jimmy started to climb down again, slowly, but after what felt like an eternity, he realised that he didn’t know which way to go anymore. He had no idea where the cottage was. The low evening sun was blinding him and he squinted. The freezing evening air clawed at the damp fabric of his t-shirt and chilled him to the bone. His feet burned and were blistered in their too large boots. His leg muscles ached and cramped. He sat down, despairing. 

This was it. The famous Jimmy Page would be lost forever in the dark woods of Mid- Wales. Now, wouldn’t that make for a nice rock-n-roll saga? Oh, he always dabbled in the dark arts, they would say. He has made a deal with the devil, that’s why they were so successful. And now the devil has got Jimmy Page’s soul. Jimmy put his head in his hands. Hell couldn’t be worse than that, surely. He hugged himself against the cold.

Darkness was falling fast in the woods even though there was still light in the sky. How quiet it was. All the birds had found their perches and the wind died down. Nothing but the occasional rustle of a small animal and the mournful cry of an owl somewhere on the other side of the valley.  
Jimmy was startled as he heard a stir in the undergrowth behind him. The way twigs snapped, and leaves were pushed aside told him that this was no small animal or bird. Jimmy was gripped with fear. He hadn’t thought of wildlife when he had left earlier, in a frenzy to find Robert. Oh god, what animals lived in the Welsh wilderness? Deer could become aggressive if they felt under threat. Wild boars could goad a man to death. Were there wolves in Wales? Then, a sharp, crisp bark. Jimmy was on his feet now. No, this was worse than wild boars or wolves. This was a dog. A dog who could shred him to bits. Maybe a farmers’ dog who was protecting its territory. Had he accidentally ended up on private land?

The rustling got louder and closer, he could hear the distinctive panting now. Should he run? No, any dog could outrun him. Climb – yes, dogs can’t climb. But it was too late. A dark presence appeared next to him, panting and moving around. The hounds of hell have found me at last, he thought. Adrenaline cursed through him and survival kicked in. Stand still, Jimmy, stand completely still. Hunter animals go for moving pray. He nearly let out a scream when a wet nose poked against his hand and the animal let out a little yelp. 

But not in a threatening way. As his eyes got used to the darkness, Jimmy noticed that the dog seemed rather friendly. It was wagging its tail excitedly and let out more friendly yelps. Panting excitedly now, moving back and for in front of Jimmy. He stretched his hand out, tentatively and the dog happily licked his fingers. Jimmy reluctantly stroked the dog’s head and the dog bent down, playfully and let out a few friendly little barks. Was the dog smiling at him? Jimmy couldn't help but wonder - why was this strange dog so friendly? Almost as if…almost as if it knew Jimmy. But Jimmy didn’t know any dogs, and certainly none that roamed the Welsh countryside at night. Then it hit him.

Could it be…? 

He cleared his throat and quietly called the dog: “Strider?” The dog gave another happy little bark and started to dance around excitedly. “My god, Strider! You found me? How?” Strider nuzzled himself against Jimmy’s hand, happily. Oh god, I think I will love dogs from now on, he told himself as he bent down to caress the dog’s soft, long fur. And suddenly, he had another revelation: “Strider, where is Robert?” He asked the dog, but the dog just looked at him, blankly. What was that? Strider cocked his head and sharpened his ears. Started to move, too fast for Jimmy. “Stop, Strider, come back!” the dog did as he was told but his ears twitched, and he kept pulling into one direction. “Is that where your master is, hm?” Jimmy asked. Then he heard it too. 

Faintly, but unmistakably. A powerful voice calling out that he would always recognise. Man, and dog stumbled along the dark, wooded hillside as fast as they could. Jimmy wanted to call Robert again but reminded himself painfully that Robert probably did not want to see him, so he kept following the dog instead. He could hear the distinctive voice calling, louder now. “Strider, you damn dog, come back here!” Jimmy had to grab the dog’s collar quickly to stop him from leaving him behind. “Strider, you faithless dog! God! Why is everyone leaving me?!” 

The last bit of light faded in the sky, and visibility was sinking even further. But the dog kept pushing on and Jimmy knew that Robert could not be far. There! A clearing ahead of him. It was lighter here, out of the woods. Even in the dark, the mass of golden curls seemed to shimmer. Robert was sitting on a log, twisting his hands together. His white t-shirt formed a clear contrast against the black woods behind him. Strider finally broke loose and ran up to Robert, tail wagging. Robert bent to pet him, and Strider jumped up. Jimmy used his last bit of strength to follow. “I…I brought you your dog back!” Then he fell to his knees, exhausted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love dogs - 'nuff said!


	5. Caught you smiling at me – part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Looks like my dog brought me my Jimmy back” Robert laughed.  
> Thanks to Strider, Robert and Jimmy find each other in the dark woods in Mid-Wales. Are they ready to make a new start and to forgive, after everything that has happened?

“Jimmy?   
What…oh, thank goodness!” Robert called out, baffled as he slowly walked over to the dark shape curled up on the grass. When the other spoke, he sounded chocked: “I…I had to find you. I told Charlotte about us and she has left for good.” Robert slowly keeled down next him. 

Jimmy spoke again: “Please…can you forgive me?” Robert didn’t answer straight away. He felt the searing pain of the last few months boil up inside him and wanted to shout at Jimmy. Then he remembered how Jimmy had been recently, manic, ghost like, crazed. He finally stretched his hand out and laid it on the other one’s hunched, cold and sweaty back. He took a deep breath. Remembered their conversation on Jimmy’s birthday. Hadn’t Robert told him to try to find someone else? “I don’t need to. There is nothing to forgive.”

Jimmy tried to get up. Tried and failed. Robert sat down next to him. His hand found the other one’s face and he gently cupped it. He could barely see Jimmy’s features in the dark, but he didn’t need to. This fine face was forever burned in his memory. 

He leaned in closer and found the other one’s lips. He felt Jimmy melt into the kiss and then cry, sobs shaking him, and he had to break the kiss. He laughed through the tears: “Oh god, dammit, I can’t kiss and cry at the same time!” Robert caressed the tangled mass of black, damp hair. Leaned in again. “Stop crying then” he said and kissed Jimmy gently. 

This time, Jimmy forgot everything else. Robert, Robert, Robert, his wildly beating heart said and Jimmy tangled his fingers in Robert’s locks. They kissed and laughed and cried together for a while before Robert hesitated. “Jimmy? Are you…are you only wearing a t-shirt?”   
“I…I left in a hurry. After, you know, after I told Charlotte, about us. That I only…you know…only love you.” Robert kissed him again, wildly. “Wait! How long have you been out here looking for me?” Jimmy shrugged. 

Did it matter? He’d found Robert. “Jimmy?” “Uhm…since… about lunchtime. Maureen left too. She took Carmen. They wanted us to…be alone. Maureen said you are out here somewhere.” Robert shook his head, baffled. “Oh Jimmy, I only went for a short walk. I went back soon after the girls left. But I couldn’t find you anywhere. When it got dark, I started to worry. So, I took the dog and hoped I would find you, somehow. But Strider ran off.”

Jimmy laughed again, incredulous. Strider came up and nuzzled his long head against Jimmy’s shoulder and Jimmy reached out to pet him. “Looks like my dog brought me my Jimmy back” Robert laughed. He shrugged himself out of his woolly jumper and wrapped it around Jimmy. “Come on, Jimmy baby. You are freezing. Let’s get back to Bron-Yr-Aur”. 

Jimmy tried to stand up, but his legs gave in and he had to steady himself on Robert’s arm. Robert noticed: “my goodness, you are exhausted. If you have been looking for me, out here, since lunchtime, no food and no water…will you let me carry you?” Jimmy had no choice but agree. Robert carried Jimmy on his back all the way to the cottage. It was the sweetest load he ever had to carry, Robert thought.


	6. Caught you smiling at me – part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Jimmy attempt to find out how they feel about each other after everything that has happened.

Robert put fresh wood on the fire and lit the gas candles in Bron-yr-aur’s small, rustic living room. He could finally see Jimmy properly. Jimmy sat on the small, old sofa, which was covered in a patchwork quilt, and hugged his knees to his face. Jimmy was a sorry sight: His black curls where sweaty, tangled, leaves and thorns stuck in them. His face was flushed and scratched. His t-shirt and jeans were stained and ripped at both knees. He was finally out of his boots, and Robert noticed that his slender feet were raw, red and blistered. 

Robert filled a glass with water from one of the buckets the roadies had brought earlier, and Jimmy drank, thirstily. Robert filled a large pot with water and put it over the fire as well as another pot with cold stew. As much as he liked this secluded spot, right now he would have given almost anything for running, hot water. He went upstairs to find some soap, a sponge, fresh towels and a hairbrush. In the room he knew Jimmy was planning to sleep in, he found a pair of linen pajama bottoms and a fresh t-shirt. He carried everything downstairs and filled an enamel basin with the now pleasantly warm water. “Come, Jimmy. You need to freshen up!" He called to the other man. Jimmy didn’t move. “It’s OK, I won’t look. I’ll leave the room.” With that he walked off and left Jimmy to it.

When he came back down, Jimmy looked much better. He was dressed in his fresh white t-shirt and blue pajama bottoms but his hair was a wet, tangled mess. Robert saw that Jimmy was trying to comb himself, but his hair kept getting caught in the brush. “Hey, can I try?” Robert asked, carefully. What he really wanted to do, was scoop Jimmy up and love him, but since they had got back, both seemed somewhat awkward around each other. Without saying it out loud, they knew that too much had happened to just go back to how they had been. Robert was relieved when Jimmy gave the brush to him. 

He carefully began at the tip of Jimmy’s hair, which had already started to curl up elegantly as it was drying. After that, he gently parted strand after strand, holding them with one hand and carefully brushing them out until each strand was silky, smooth and soft. Occasionally, he pulled out some twigs, thorns or leaves. “It looks like you’ve got a whole forest in your hair” he joked, and a fine smile showed on Jimmy’s face. Robert desired to kiss him but was worried that this was probably too much. 

Later, Robert joined Jimmy on the sofa and handed him a bowl of hot stew. He noticed Jimmy’s initial reluctance, but the next moment, he was eating hungrily. They were both too exhausted to stay up. When they got upstairs, their respective rooms next to each other, both hesitated. Slowly walked closer to each other. Jimmy spoke, softly, pleadingly: “Please, don’t make me sleep alone again. Please...?” Robert smiled and scooped Jimmy up in his arms. Robert quickly shrugged out of his clothes, wearing boxers only. Jimmy took his t-shirt off, and Robert started to worry again as he noticed that Jimmy looked thinner than he had before, and his fine, pale skin was covered in scratches and bruises. “Come here…” Robert offered after he laid himself down, lifting the blanket for Jimmy. The other man crawled up to him and hugged himself so tight against Robert, skin on skin, as if he wanted to mold them together.   
\---  
Both men were clearly exhausted, not just from their search for each other in the woods but from everything they’d had to go through the past few months. Neither stirred until lunchtime the next morning. They awoke at the same time to a fine April spring day and started kissing each other, gently, almost chastely. Neither dared to move their hands too far down. Instead they parted and got up. Jimmy quickly dressed himself in his t-shirt and jeans, and promptly picked up his guitar. Robert dressed too, and studied Jimmy who didn’t look up. Robert quickly bent down and kissed the curly black head. To his relief, he noticed the ghost of a smile on Jimmy’s face, which was still marked by several angry red scratches.

Robert lingered for a moment, not sure if he should do or say anything else, but Jimmy busied himself practicing an e-minor pentatonic scale faster and faster up and down the guitar’s neck. Even though he was just playing scales, Robert couldn’t help but listen and be amazed. Whatever Jimmy played on his guitar turned into something complex and multifaceted. Emotional. Jimmy looked up to him, timid almost, a little smile on his face again. Robert felt that Jimmy wanted to ask to be alone but didn’t dare to. Instead, Robert quietly left the room to prepare their breakfast.

Later the same day, Robert asked Jimmy if he wanted to go on a walk with him and the dog, but Jimmy hesitated. Finally he asked shyly if Robert would mind going by himself. Robert would have preferred to have Jimmy with him, when realization dawned on him: apart from having been through a lot recently, Jimmy was the kind of person who sometimes just needed time to himself. Robert had not had the chance to realize this so far, with their manic touring schedule and then being broken up so brutally. 

Jimmy looked surprised: “you…your really don’t mind?” Robert smiled. A few hours apart could not hurt. They had found each other again and now they needed time to figure everything else out. Maybe, Robert thought, he needed some time alone too. As Robert was about to leave, Jimmy appeared in the doorway, still pale but for the first time with a genuine, wide, eye crinkling smile on his face. “Hey, enjoy your walk” he said, petted Strider’s soft back and pulled Robert in for a quick, but very sweet kiss. 

For the next few days the two men and the dog settled into a calm, peaceful routine. They would sleep in the same bed, Jimmy usually spooned by Robert, or with his head on Robert’s chest, but keeping their hips apart. They both slept soundly and long every night. In the morning, the roadies would drive up, bring fresh water, prepare food for the day. Occasionally, Jimmy and Robert went with them to have a shower in the guesthouse, where the roadies stayed and for a pint in the local pub.   
One day, a young local lad brought his guitar. He was surprisingly good, and Robert couldn’t help but sing along to some of the songs he knew. The boy and his friends looked as if they were certain that there was something familiar about the two visitors, but neither could quite place them. 

The lad offered his guitar to Robert, who accepted it and strummed a few cords. But when the boy offered the guitar to Jimmy, he looked at it as if he had never seen a guitar before and told him that he had no idea how to play it. When one of their roadies took Jimmy and Robert back up to Bron-Yr-Aur, all three were laughing heartily about this little occurrence and the boys’ confused faces.

Robert started to enjoy his walks, with Strider being his trusty companion. It soon got easier for Jimmy and Robert to part, especially after Jimmy admitted that he wasn’t just playing guitar when he was alone. He also performed rituals for which he needed solitude. Robert was surprised that Jimmy never told anyone before, but Jimmy said that he was worried that people would think he was a devil worshipper and going slowly mad. 

Having that much time with Strider was wonderful for both Robert and the dog. Robert felt eternally grateful to him as he genuinely believed that he would not have found Jimmy without Strider. The long walks through the delightful countryside allowed him to both clear his head and think. He couldn’t help but worry about his future with Jimmy. They were getting closer again, and he was certain that Jimmy’s love was as unwavering as his own. But they couldn’t stay at this cottage forever, eventually they would have to face reality again. He looked at his dog, and the dog looked up at him, and, with his lolling tongue appeared to be smiling widely. Why couldn’t love always be as easy as the pure love between a dog and a man? 

Two lines popped into his head by sudden intuition “How can your love be so strong, when so many loves go wrong…” Robert smiled back down to the dog. From then on, he spent the rest of the walk dreaming up lyrics and a cheerful tune for Strider.

Robert was excited when he returned but stopped himself when he got through the blue front door. Jimmy was, as usual, playing guitar but what he played, sounded unusual and beautiful, a clear gentle melody and a bass underneath that sounded lower than a usual guitar. He stood, transfixed, until the guitar stopped, and Jimmy appeared on top of the stairs. “Robert! Hey Robert, love, I thought of a new song! I came up with an alternative tuning and…” he stopped himself as Robert grinned widely. “Well, that makes two of us, I have dreamed up lyrics AND a melody on my walk today.” They spent the rest of the evening sitting on the open fire, both with guitars on their laps. Robert was so fascinated by Jimmy’s gentle folk melody and the magnificent alternative tuning that he said any addition would spoil it and Jimmy should play it completely on his own.

They had all the more fun with Robert’s song, which at some point involved Jimmy putting his guitar down and stomping along with the rhythm. Jimmy fully agreed that Strider deserved his very own Led Zeppelin song. “I shall call this song Bron-Yr-Aur stomp!” Robert declared. “Aww” Jimmy replied, “I wanted to call my song Bron-Yr-Aur – why can’t we call yours love song for a dog or something?” Robert gave Jimmy his ‘derp’ look and argued that Bron-Yr-Aur stomp sounded infinitely more like Led Zeppelin material than Jimmy’s suggestion. “And we want nothing but the best now, don’t we?” 

Jimmy found a bottle of wine in the kitchen and they held each other, kissed, laughed and got drunk in front of the open fire. Robert felt Jimmy’s gentle hands tuck at the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up to let his hands roam on Robert’s hips, stomach and up to his chest. Robert couldn’t stop himself any longer and did the same to Jimmy. Oh god, how good Jimmy felt with his silky soft skin and well-defined torso. One thing soon led to another and they found themselves naked with each other. Jimmy sat on Robert’s lap, Jimmy’s legs around Robert, both sitting up, facing each other. They kissed almost manically by now, rubbing their hard dicks against the other's. Jimmy was the first one to reach down, and without breaking the kiss, Robert allowed his hand to join. They were soon a shivering mess and came at the same time.  
Later that night, Robert knew that the spell had finally been broken for good when Jimmy produced a tub of Vaseline and made sweet, tender love to him.


	7. Caught you smiling at me – part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A truly happy time has finally arrived for our two young lovers; alone and without disruptions their love grows rapidly and becomes more solid. But they can't stay in their safe little bubble forever, eventually, they will have to face reality again.

A truly happy time ensued. The couple felt lighter than they had for a long time. Here, alone in the Welsh wilderness, no one could find them, no one could harm them, and no one could try to separate them. They made love and they made music. They went for long walks with the dog, hand in hand and sometimes, Jimmy allowed Robert to photograph him with Robert’s new camera. Robert fancied himself as a bit of a photographer now, and he had all those arty ideas:   
"Jimmy, baby, would you mind wading into that stream for me? Look, sit on that rock in the middle, yeah?"  
"But it's wet! And cold!"  
"Hey, come on! That's why you are wearing wellies! And a coat and a hat! Come on, you'd look so sweet! Please!"  
Jimmy found it near impossible to say no to Robert when he put on his cute puppy eyes and whined like a little boy. So he gave in and did as he was asked. Robert gave directions: "Yes, look up a bit, look dreamy for me, you are so good at that beautiful baby..." Jimmy tried and once he heard the camera click, he started to laugh. Robert continued to snap away until Jimmy drudged back through the water, threatening to splash both Robert and his brand- new camera. 

Sometimes, Robert went alone to give Jimmy time for himself, his music and his rituals. Jimmy expressed how truly grateful he was. And that no one, apart from Robert had ever understood him better.

One morning, Jimmy watched Robert from the bedroom window as Robert stood outside, topless, and threw a bucket of cold water over himself. The scream Robert let out when the freezing water hit him was so magnificent that Jimmy suggested they’d use it to open one of their songs when Robert joined him in the bedroom. He had a towel slung around his shoulder, the tips of his golden locks cold and wet. 

Robert laughed and gave another mighty wail which reverberated through the small cottage and made the old windowpanes rattle. When he looked back at Jimmy, who looked on, somber. He leaned on the window and let his gaze wander over over the gentle wooded landscape. Robert’s face fell and he stopped himself. He gently caressed Jimmy’s shoulders from behind and asked: “baby. Are you ok? Is something wrong?” Jimmy’s shoulders heaved as he breathed out slowly, almost with a sob. Without looking he answered: “music is truly inert in us…isn’t it? It just comes…naturally.” Robert didn’t understand why this was a bad thing. “Yeah, of course! It’s all I ever wanted to do!” “Robert!” Jimmy sounded angry all of a sudden. 

Then he explained, glumly: “Oh Robert, don’t you see? For us to be together… if you really do want to be with me, we might well have to give up music.” It only took Robert a second to respond. He embraced the other one from behind and said “I’d give anything up for you. I’d never sing a note again if that’s what it takes.”   
They both remained like that, Robert staring out the window across Jimmy’s shoulders as if trying to find some solace in the dark valley below them. 

His thoughts were tumbling until Robert spoke again: “Maybe we should break loose from the others, management and all.” He continued: “Make our own project, ‘Page and Plant’ or something. Sod them all.” Jimmy didn’t answer right away, but the tiny twitch Robert felt going through Jimmy’s body told him that he was on to something. “The only ones I would feel bad about would be Jonesy and Bonzo. And the crew. But, look, wouldn’t they have enough of a reputation to be much sought after by now? And the crew too. What better accolade than to say ‘I was one of the roadies that helped Led Zeppelin become famous? Sure, they were short-lived, but they did play “Whole Lotta Love!”

Jimmy chortled, then he looked serious again, absent – minded caressing Robert’s hand. “Nobody might want to listen to us or see us play. Especially if they…knew.” “You don’t know that for sure! Maybe, maybe if we come back from here with new material, we’d have something to show?” Jimmy continued stroking Robert’s hand but didn’t answer. 

Robert spoke again: “Oh Jimmy baby! Look, no one can ever stop us making music, and if it is only for ourselves. To sing to our friends and families. To sing to little Carmen and Strider the dog!” Jimmy finally smiled, still not entirely convinced. “You are right. Our success might be over, but at least we’d have each other. Maureen, Carmen, Strider. Our American friends. We might never earn that much again…” This time, Robert sounded passionate: “Jimmy, I don’t care! I’d live under a bridge or a hole in the ground as long as it is with you!” Finally, Jimmy turned over in Robert’s arms, facing him, smiling widely. “I’d do the exact same as long as I have you!” He jumped up, slung his slender legs around Robert who caught him and they both tumbled on the bed next to them, pearls of laughter filling the tiny bedroom. 

Thinking of music really was a habit that was difficult to shake, and both continued to dream up music, each in their own way. Most of the songs and lyrics the two came up with were soft and mellow. On their long walks, fingers linked with each other, they found time to think, reflect and dream. They remembered their handful of trusty friends – Pam, Mike and Michele in California, Ahmed in New York and of course Maureen. And called the resulting song “Friends”. 

They spoke about the unfairness of the world, and Robert merged society’s coldness towards hippies and nature as well as their management’s cruel move to try to end Robert and Jimmy’s relationship and it resulted in the rather sad song “That’s the way.” Jimmy in turn spoke about his pain and sorrow, and how neither drugs nor a kind woman had helped him, said “since I’ve been loving you, I feared I would lose my worried mind.” And again, Robert, who was increasingly growing into a rather magnificent poet, mixed this up with old blues themes and his care for Maureen and Carmen. “Since I’ve been loving you” became sad and powerful and a favourite with their fans.

Jimmy dug out one of his rare, entirely self-written songs and sang it for Robert. Robert liked Jimmy’s voice, it was gentle and quiet. He explained that he had often quietly played this song to himself during their separation. It was all about a lost love, and Robert pulled Jimmy closer after he finished playing and singing, whispering that he had never lost him in the first place and that he always thought of the other one. Robert quite liked the song, but Jimmy said the only way he would ever release it was if Robert sang it. He added that he would not allow anyone other than Robert hear him sing, which Robert thought was really quite sweet.   
Robert told Jimmy about his love for historic novels, inspired by the wild landscape, which looked as if a horde of medieval knights could gallop out of the woods anytime. Jimmy was animated and interested. Robert wrote “Gallows Pole” that same evening. The beautiful, unusual, folksy chord progression Jimmy suggested fitted perfectly.

Jimmy kept playing a beautiful rising and falling theme, almost classical and said he wanted this to be the beginning of a really big project, something that gradually grew and grew in strength but he wasn’t certain about anything else and Robert promised to wait with lyrics until Jimmy had a better idea about this particular track. 

It was during this stay, that they bravely moved their relationship further on physically. One morning, Robert was spooning Jimmy as usual, when Jimmy started to grind against Robert’s considerable morning erection. Robert shivered and pressed himself closer into Jimmy’s backside. Their legs tangled and Jimmy pulled Robert’s head over his shoulder to kiss him sensually and needy, at the same time grinding further. Then he let go of Robert, reluctantly breaking the kiss. Instead he turned enough to whisper into Robert’s ear. It was hushed and muffled, and Robert didn’t understand him at first. He asked what it was Jimmy wanted, and Jimmy whispered, his breath hot against Robert’s ear: “...need you…want you to…hmm…fill me up.” 

When Robert understood, he was extremely excited. He hadn’t thought that Jimmy would like it this way round and wondered if it was probably because Robert was even bigger than Jimmy. But Jimmy turned under him, producing the Vaseline.

Robert took a deep breath and did what Jimmy usually did to him. He touched the tight ring of muscle and Jimmy quivered under the touch. It felt unusual and beautiful and Robert got more curious and braver, penetrating Jimmy carefully with the tip of one finger. Jimmy sighed and willed himself to relax, which allowed Robert better access. Robert’s breath hitched as he found his finger inside the other one, but Jimmy started to move, and Robert responded. Both were getting hot and sweaty and very, very turned on. Just to make matters even hotter, Jimmy added his own finger and helped Robert to stretch Jimmy. 

When Jimmy felt ready, he literally took matters into his own hand. He laid on his back, slung his fine long legs around Robert’s strong neck and pulled him in. When the tip of Robert’s cock grazed Jimmy’s now soft, open hole, Jimmy quickly massaged some more Vaseline on Robert’s cock. He closed his eyes and whispered “now, Robert”.   
Robert leaned forward – whoa, Jimmy was tight. This was indeed much harder than entering a woman. The friction was so strong, he didn’t know how he could possibly move. Thankfully, below him, Jimmy did. He brought his hands up to Robert’s firm butt and started to move him back and forth, carefully at first, gentle almost. Then he pulled Robert’s butt closer and Robert involuntarily buried himself all the way in Jimmy. Jimmy started to roll his hips and instinct took over as Robert finally went to fuck Jimmy. 

They were moaning against each other as they found a rhythm. Jimmy moved a little, changing their position slightly and his head fell back with a loud gasp. Despite his own excitement, Robert knew that he had hit Jimmy’s prostate this time, and the other one was seeing stars. Nothing could stop Jimmy now; he was going positively wild below Robert. His nails dug into Robert’s backside as he urged him to ride the other man, wild and uninhibited. 

Jimmy felt almost impossibly hot and tight around him and he seemed to get tighter as he got closer to his climax. Robert felt as if he was losing his mind but he continued to fuck the other one’s tight hole until everything started to swirl and go black and red as he screwed his eyes shut. Robert emptied himself into Jimmy, shaking and moaning. Under him, Jimmy had momentarily forgotten how to breathe and went into spasms of sheer pleasure. When he was breathing again, it sounded like a mighty sob of relief. He'd come at the same time as Robert.

This soon became their favourite position, and they could hardly keep their hands off each other. Robert became positively addicted to the way Jimmy felt when he was inside him and Jimmy was so, so willing. He allowed Robert to take him almost everywhere and any time. They became rather inventive as they got carried away in front of the fireplace, on the little sofa in the living room, on the stony kitchen floor and once even outside, using Robert’s jumper as a blanket. If they couldn’t find any makeshift lubricant, Jimmy would suck Robert to get him wet and slick with spit and precum and Robert would use his own spit to lubricate Jimmy. Neither ever seemed to get enough of the other one. They were alive, young and so, so much in love with each other. 

Inevitably, their happy, loved up time had to come to an end. As April merged into a pleasant early May, they sat together on a fallen tree in a clearing, throwing a stick for Strider, which the faithful dog dutifully, happily brought back every time. The sun was pleasant and warm, and nature around them had fully awoken. Birds sang and filled the light blue sky. A mass of bluebells stretched out in front of them, delicately scenting the mild spring air. The nearby stream murmured and gurgled. 

Robert cradled Jimmy’s fine, round chin in his hand, bringing him in for a kiss and joked: “hey Jimmy, when did you last shave?” Jimmy laughed and looked a little embarrassed. “Uhm…err, two week ago?” Robert laughed out loud and caressed Jimmy’s black stubble. Jimmy added “It’s just so difficult, you know, no running water, no warm water and that…my blade was getting a bit blunt too…” Robert kissed the stubble and liked how it tickled his lips. “hmm, I like it” he said. “Maybe I should grow it?” Jimmy suggested. Robert laughed and said “only if you let me grow mine too” then he winked, and both blushed at the innuendo. “Hmm, Robert, I like anything that you…grow!” 

They made out for some time, until Robert let go, suddenly looking sad. Jimmy caught on immediately “what’s wrong, my love? Why do you look so sad?” Robert let out a long breath. “Because noticing all that stubble on you reminds me of how long we have been up here.” Jimmy suddenly looked sad too. Neither needed to verbalize the conclusion: they couldn’t stay here forever. “I’ll never go back to how it was the last few months” Robert said, determined, lacing his fingers through Jimmy’s. 

Jimmy didn’t answer, he seemed to be thinking hard, his eyes small slits as if he was trying to focus on something in the distance. Suddenly, he smiled excitedly: “Robert, I think I might have an idea. We might just be able to save the mighty Zeppelin, but without losing each other. It is something G said last November, you know, when…” Robert racked his brain but couldn’t remember anything that G had said that would possibly be in their favour. 

But Jimmy smiled widely now, sunshine reflecting of his face, then he kissed Robert on his lips. “Your Jimmy is scheming again! But we have to trust each other, fully. It will be a gamble and we could well lose everything. Everything apart from…each other.” Robert squeezed Jimmy’s hand. “You know I trust you, always. And I’d give everything up for you. I really do mean it.” Jimmy smiled, proudly. “Good. First, we'll need to speak to Bonzo, Jonesy and our families. They need to know.” Robert’s mind was reeling, but Jimmy, continued, unwavering. “They might or might not get on our side. But at least we will know what we are dealing with. After that, will you come to New York with me?” Robert still didn’t understand, but he knew that he could not be separated from Jimmy again: “anything for you, baby, I’ll do anything.” “Good” Jimmy replied and kissed him again.


	8. They carry News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy and Robert finally confront Richard and G. Will they walk away with nothing or will they be able to somehow save Led Zeppelin and their relationship?   
> Posted a little earlier than planned, specifically for my wonderful, most loyal fan C. Johnston. I'm so very grateful, your appreciation is what keeps me going! Ok, and the joy writing this brings me ;-)

'They carry news that must get through  
To build a dream for me and you (Led Zeppelin, No Quarter)'

On a grey, dreary New York morning in May, Robert and Jimmy sat in the same gloomy, windowless hotel backroom they had found themselves in last November, almost exactly six months ago. Robert still felt the horror – Richard’s insults as he had called them everything bad that he could think of after finding out about their relationship. And G’s accusations, that they were being selfish and mentally unstable. Minimizing their relationship. And telling both to move on.

Next to him, Jimmy sat, wearing a neat, dark blue Jeans shirt and trousers and looked beautiful, if very different with a full beard and shorter curls. He looked paler than usual, but his hands rested calmly on the table in front of him.

Jimmy’s eyes were closed, and Robert heard him whisper to himself. Robert realised that he was praying, a prayer he had never heard before:

“17. Fear not all;  
fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything.  
Money fear not, nor laughter of the folk folly, nor any other power in heaven or upon the earth or under the earth.  
Nu is your refuge as Hadit your light;  
and I am the strength, force, vigour, of your arms.” *

Robert wanted to fiddle and flutter, and possibly leave the room and run, but Jimmy’s calm, collected demeanour gave him strength to do the same. This was it. All hell could break lose. But they would still have each other.

This time, Jimmy and Robert sat with the door to their backs, and two empty chairs in front of them. Any moment, they expected a knock on the door. Jimmy seemed to sense Robert’s nerves and briefly moved his hand to lay it over Robert’s. Jimmy's hand was cool and steady. He moved it away again as the door opened. It was Ahmed, in his usual neat grey suit and black tie over a white shirt. He looked tense behind his horn-rimmed glasses but gave off an air of certainty and determination. “You ready, boys?” he asked, placing his hands on their shoulders from where he stood behind them. Both nodded. 

Five minutes later, and Richard and G had taken their seats opposite Jimmy, Robert and Ahmed. G was dressed in his usual, large dark suit, with a small scarf around his thick neck and heavy rings on every finger. He tried to look calm, but sweat was beading on his large forehead below his thin, messy brown hair. Richard was wearing his usual navy-blue t-shirt and jeans, his long-fringed brown hair neat and straight. His eyes were flitting around – he avoided looking at Jimmy and Robert. Neither party spoke at first.

Then, to everyone’s surprise, Jimmy stood up. Robert marvelled at him, as he stood there, strong and fearless like a knight going into battle. All the horrors of the last six months had not broken Jimmy. It had made him infinitely stronger. It had made both of them stronger. When Jimmy spoke, it was calm and measured: “Thank you gentlemen for joining us today. We have carefully considered your propositions from last November. We have attempted to follow the rules you have laid out for us but found that they do not work.” Then he sat down again, next to Robert, but not without gently touching his shoulder. 

Richard gave a disgusted little snort, but G slapped his arm, hard, looking angry.   
When G spoke, he did not address or respond to Jimmy at all. “Ahmed, my old friend, I cannot express how disappointed I am in you. I have thought that you will support us. Make this work. End this embarrassing little episode between our two front men once and for all. But here you are.” Ahmed nodded calmly. “Here I am indeed.” He answered, simply. G took a deep breath; at last, he said “Ahmed, you understand that our record deal is off as of today. Led Zeppelin will not be releasing albums under the Atlantic label anymore.”

Ahmed shrugged, and continued to look on, serenely. And Jimmy spoke again, undeterred by being ignored earlier: “the point is, unless you will support us, fully and wholeheartedly, there will be no Led Zeppelin anymore.” G gasped. Richard got red in his face again and stood up, ready to shout, but G pulled him back down. 

G spoke again, hissing: “Fuck you Jimmy! You live for music! You will be a nobody if you walk away from this, you utter fool!” Jimmy remained poised, not even blinking. “That’s fine with me. I’d live in a dump at the end of the world as long as it is with Robert.” Next to him, Robert nodded gravely, and took Jimmy’s hand. “And I’ll do the same. For Jimmy. Any day. Even if I only get to sing to Jimmy, my daughter and Strider, the dog.” 

G was bright enough to realise that he wasn’t getting anywhere, so he changed is tactic: “You can’t be that selfish! What about Bonzo and Jonesy? How could you do this to them?”

Wordlessly, Ahmed opened the door behind him. Jonesy stepped in, his wheat-blonde hair elegantly parted in the middle and smoothly hanging down over his shoulders, his arms crossed in front of him. When he spoke, it was quiet but with determination: “Don’t you worry about me. Donovan, Joe Cocker and The Rolling Stones, amongst others have been on and on at me for ages. All of them want to employ me full time, as bassist, arranger and multi- instrumentalist. They are bidding against each other. I could pick anyone and make more money than I have so far with Led Zeppelin. And I would be touring less. G, it is very tempting indeed.”

This time, G’s face was reddening and a vein in his neck started to pulse. Richard stared, wide-eyed. Jonesy quietly moved to Jimmy’s side, looked down at him and Jimmy looked up, trading a little smile.   
Ahmed opened the door again. Bonzo stepped in. He looked both cool and dorky at the same time, which was mostly due to his shirt, which showed a large depiction of Snoopy the dog. His dark, shoulder long hair looked messy, but his little moustache was neatly trimmed. He walked straight up to Robert, put his strong hands on the other man’s shoulders and spoke, passionately. “I just wish I had known earlier. This man is like a brother to me.” Suddenly, he raised his voice, angry: “No one, do you hear me, no one hurt my little brother! And don’t you think that I would so much as consider working with any of you for one more second! You disgust me!” Then he stepped aside, next to Robert, his arms crossed. 

Sweat was running down G’s large face and drained into his messy hair. Richard looked ashen, as if he was about to faint. “But…what about your families…?” Wordlessly, Ahmed opened the door again. “No…surely not…you couldn’t have told them…they must be…ashamed…” G stammered.

Patricia Page was the first one to enter the room. She looked beautiful with her black hair in neat waves down to her shoulders, wearing an elegant dark fur coat, her kind, round face beaming at her son. “James!” She called out, threw her arms around him and, to his embarrassment, kissed him on his bearded cheek. James senior quietly made his way into the room after his wife. Patricia sat down next to Jimmy and James put his arms around both of them. He said, in a voice as polite and quiet as his son’s: “James is our only child. He means everything to us. All we ever want is for him to be happy, whatever it takes.” They stayed right behind Jimmy.

More people squeezed into the small room, which was suddenly becoming rather crowded. This time both of Robert’s parents and his little sister Alison, who had grown into a gorgeous young girl, tall and lean as her brother, with a mass of blonde curls almost down to her hips. Robert senior looked surprisingly much like his oldest son – he had grown his fine blond hair down to his shoulders and was wearing a woolly jumper. He looked as if he had just come out of the stables at Jennings farm. He poked Robert’s arm with his elbow and spoke up, laughing:” well, me and Robert’s mum always knew that he was a bit different! It was just a matter of time, until our Robert met the right man!” 

“Wait!” G called, as everyone was starting to talk excitedly between them. “Robert! Your wife and child? You forgot all about them, haven’t you?” Ahmed opened the door again, this time leaving it open because the small room was now full of people. 

Maureen squeezed though as far as possible, Carmen on her arm and Strider on his leash. Strider broke loose, barking happily and jumped up first on Robert, then Jimmy, who bent down and tickled Strider behind his soft ears. Carmen called “daddy! Jimmy!” and stretched her little arms toward the two men, who sat her down with them, one leg on each of their knees. 

“Well,” Maureen said, “thanks to those two”, tousling both Robert and Jimmy’s curly heads with her hands “thanks to those two I own a beautiful farm now. I can run it and we never have to worry a day in our lives.” 

Three more people tried to squeeze in, even though it meant that the Plants and the Pages had to move back out of the room. Pam looked glorious as always, today in a tight silvery little thing, Mike on her hand. Michele followed them, looking gorgeous in a colourful crochet jacket and leather mini skirt, every bit the Californian girl she was, with her long brown hair and mascara smudged eyes. Pam leaned forward, past Jimmy’s left shoulder, displaying her considerable cleavage for the two stunned men on the other side of the table. “Well, G, Richard, I’m sure you are less stupid then you look.” Michele also leaned forward, past Robert’s right shoulder: “use those big heads of yours, and I’m sure you can figure something out for the groupies. It might…cost you something, but it will be worth every penny.” Pam nodded, sincerely, a little smirk on her face.

Everyone started to laugh and chat excitedly, Alison instantly made friends with Strider, Patricia cooed over little Carmen, Jonesy started a serious conversation with James Page senior. Suddenly, a droning, booming voice: “Enough!!” G called, and the might of his voice was enough to quieten the room. “All this love and peace, how heart-warming! Shame that your sons, brother, father, friends will be nobodies and living in the gutter!”

“Actually!” A voice called from the back “it would just be you in the gutter!” A chorus of voices responded in agreement, as an army of roadies, technicians and minders gathered and waved behind the open door. 

Jimmy gently gave Carmen to Maureen and stood up. He lifted his hand, as he did on stage, and everyone was quiet again. He addressed G: “I’m a man who cares for details. I didn’t miss what you said last year. You said: ‘You understand that we would all be on the street if you don’t move on’. Robert and me, we are your money makers. YOU will be on the street without us.” Before they could respond, Robert was on his feet too. “Oh, and by the way, Peter Grant, Richard Cole, you are fired!”

Everyone started to applaud but G shouted: “You are all delusional! No fans, no band! Do you really think that the fans, the public would just be happy with their two favourite front-men being …together?! Girls worldwide have your posters of you on their walls! Half your audience are lovesick ladies! Most of the blokes adore you because they want to be like you! Do you really think they would want to be like you if they knew the truth?!” 

“Well,” Jimmy said to Robert, shrugging,” it’s worth a try, ain’t it, love?” Robert replied, “anything is better than working with two ignorant, narrow-minded idiots, Jimmy baby.” Everyone cheered and clapped again. G sank down behind his desk. Richard rubbed his ashen face. Then he looked up, and when he spoke, his voice cracked: “you…you wouldn’t really do that to us? Look…all I ever wanted was to help you be successful and enjoy yourselves along the way. Ok, myself too, I admit but…please, is there any way that I could continue to work for you? Please, I do anything!”

Robert and Jimmy looked at each other. G spoke up too now: “boys! Jimmy! Look I always backed you up! Listen Jimmy my friend, I panicked! I wasn’t brought up to understand what had happened between you and Robert. I can see now…I can see that this isn’t just infatuation! Please, if you reconsider, I will help you!” “Oh really” Jimmy said coldly. “Well, there is something you can think about if you are serious, both of you.” He linked his fingers with Robert’s, continued: “Robert and I don’t have any intentions to go public. We want to be ourselves with our friends, families and colleagues. It is nobody else’s business. So, if you two clever men can come up with a waterproof solution, a way to make sure the public won’t ever find out, we will reconsider.”

G and Richard gawped. This seemed almost impossible. “But, how…” G stammered. “Well, that it up to you. It better be good.” Jimmy said and nodded at his own words. Then he turned to Robert, put both his hands on Robert’s cheeks, bent forward and kissed him fully on the lips. Robert instantly melted, grabbing Jimmy’s narrow shoulders and bringing him closer, forgetting about everyone around them. “Gah!” mumbled Bonzo, scratched his eyebrow and chortled. Jonesy replied: “Yeah, it will take some time getting used to, but at least the mighty blimp will keep flying!”. “Jonesy! That sounded wrong! Don’t call the gorgeous Led Zeppelin a blimp!” Bonzo protested, but he put his arm around Jonesy’s slim shoulders and laughed loudly. “Not you two as well” muttered Richard, but quietly enough for no one to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Jimmy's prayer will probably be recognized by everyone who has some knowledge of the Thelema. Credits go to the great mad genius that was Aleister Crowley. If you want to know more, or the actual source, I'm afraid you'll have to find out yourself. Them's The Law and I wouldn't dare to break it.


	9. They carry News part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to celebrate!

Everyone flocked out to Central Park, with its green meadows, artfully arranged flower borders now in full bloom and the trees in brilliant spring green. The earlier gloom had lifted, and the mists evaporated, not a cloud was left in the sky. Between all the dwellers, tourists, students and performing artists who were taking in the magnificent skyline and warm sunshine, was a particularly joyful group of people.

They had organised a pick-nick, for everyone, including all of Led Zeppelin’s faithful crew. Bonzo and Jonesy were joined by their families, each with a new baby, Zoe and Jacinda respectively. 

Strider was chasing Jonesy’s Afghan dog; Alison was chasing the dogs and Jason and Carmen tried to chase the older girl. There was plenty of delicious food, snacks, fruit, and drinks on the colourful blankets and everyone was laughing, singing, sitting comfortably or fooling around. Jimmy and Robert were as good as their word. Even though both would have preferred to be alone with each other in Ahmed’s apartment, they felt eternally grateful to everyone and mixed with their family, friends and colleagues, laughing, joking, hugging them randomly. They resisted the temptation to drag each other into the nearby bushes, being fully aware of the promises they had made.

Later in the afternoon, a somewhat bedraggled looking, sweaty G and a rather guilty looking Richard drudged up to the group. The atmosphere changed almost instantly. But G gathered everyone around. “So?” Jimmy asked, sharply. “Have you considered our proposition?”   
G spoke up: “Obviously, you were right. We want to be part of Zeppelin and do everything in our power to keep you safe at the same time.” “Good” Jimmy nodded, graciously. “Have you come up with any plans?”

“Oh, we have!” Richard replied eagerly. “Well, for all our upcoming concerts, I have booked whole hotel floors for us alone. With the strict instructions that absolutely no one must enter without prior notification. We will keep the press from you – we’ll make some exceptions, but we will choose those reporters and photographers extremely carefully and no one will be present with a camera or recording device unless you know about it. Your limousine will be driven by the drivers present today only. Because these guys know you. I’ll make sure that you will be allocated your own limousine together whenever you want, and you will only ever be joined by other band-members.” 

Robert and Jimmy looked at each other, nodding. “Yeah, that sounds good. As long as it is absolutely watertight. Oh, and if any of you slips up, if any of you makes unkind remarks to us, or tries anything else that upsets us, we might just…slip up too…just a little bit..” With that Jimmy placed a lingering kiss on Robert’s cheek and Robert nodded gravely. “Hm” Robert continued “I might just…get a bit too explicit with Jimmy on stage. Give him a little kiss on his cheek. Cuddle up a little when we have out next photo shoot. Say something like ‘the relationship Jimmy and I have is like a kind of marriage, you know’.” There was that look of horror on the management’s faces again and both were quick to reassure them that they would do anything they could to make sure Jimmy and Robert would have no reason to ‘slip up’.

“Oh, and I have something else for you all that you might like!” Richard added quickly. “You know how we were hoping to have further recording sessions in June? Well, how would you like to have them in a scenic old manor house in Essex, instead of a studio? The Rolling Stones’ recording truck is available, and this place is perfect. A bit run down, but we can make as much noise as we want, when we want to. Large enough for all of us to stay there together for the time. And surrounded by miles of private land. You two could just be entirely yourselves without any fear of the public’s prying eyes.” Finally, Jimmy smiled his sweet sunny smile. “Good job, you two. Sounds perfect. We will keep you on, but you are on probation. Any mistakes and you are out.” Both nodded eagerly, grinning too now with relief. “What’s it called?” Jonesy asked curiously. G replied “Headly Grange.”


	10. Dancing days pt 1

Richard and G were right: Headly Grange had absolutely nothing in common with the studios Led Zeppelin were used to.  
Even getting there was different. Jimmy and Robert arrived together, on a glorious June day around noon after they had been picked up from Jennings Farm in a sleek black limousine.

They'd cuddled and teased each other all the way to Sussex, too much in love to keep their hands off each other at all. They giggled and whispered like excited school boys and their trusty chauffeur didn't even turn over or lift his eyebrows once.

They left the car, their fingers laced together, grinning. A warm breeze caught their hair and both threw their heads back simultaneously, sending their long curls flying, onyx and agate.

Jimmy was the first one to speak: "ah, this is perfect! Do you think its haunted, love?" Robert smiled, more dazzling than the sunshine, his face dimpling in the most adorable places: " it might just be, sweet little baby. By the most benevolent and inspiring spirits! Look at it!"

Indeed, Headly Grange looked both inviting and intriguing: with it's old stone walls, partly overgrown with ivy and its tall chimneys, it seemed as ancient as Bron yr Aur, as if it was it's big, English sister, but it had a very different feel to it. Headly Grange had once been a Victorian workhouse and seen it's fair share of heartache, hunger, suffering, illness and death.

Robert felt some lingering old melancholy somewhere hidden in the thick rough stone walls, but with the summer sun, the gorgeous, well kept grounds and the hustle and bustle of roadies and crew already busy setting up cables, amps, microphones and instruments on the daisy- studded lawn outside brightened the atmosphere like glitter at Christmas. 

"Light and shade" Jimmy mumbled. Robert looked at him, questioning. Jimmy explained: " music. See it's all about contrast. Light and shade. Tight but loose, sometimes wild and rough, then again soft and gentle. Like making love, Robert".

They locked eyes and blushed. a lazy grin formed on Robert's feline mouth. On an impulse, he tightened his hold on Jimmy's hand and pulled him along, barely acknowledging their crew who smiled and waved at them.

As they approached the old wooden front door, which stood open, a shaggy black dog walked up to them, tail wagging, old eyes friendly. He walked to Jimmy first, who shooed him off impatient, so he turned to Robert instead. And Robert immediately flirted with the old black dog, cooing at him, scratching his ears. The old dog tried to jump up but barely managed and Robert smiled, lovingly and patted his back. " Oh Robert, please!" Jimmy whined and pulled Robert's sleeve. Robert gave the dog another quick pat and resumed holding Jimmy's hand, following him into the cool, spacious hall.

He said: "Jim, I'm inspired. Whatever my next song is about, I will call it Black Dog!" Jimmy laughed, shaking his head. "Damn dog! Sandy, Sandy, where is Robert and my bedroom?"

Their designated room turned out to be the master bedroom, larger than any of the others, in the very end of the West wing, with tall, old-fashioned windows facing south and west. Sun flooded the antique furniture, heavy velvet curtains and ancient embroidered bed- hangings. Robert looked in wonder but Jimmy had other ideas. He stepped right in front of Robert, closer and closer, until he was pressed against him. Jimmy's slender hands cupped Robert's face and Robert quickly forgot everything else, focussing on the beautiful face and sparkling green eyes in front of him instead.

He kissed Jimmy deep and long and felt him melt like putty. Robert's attention was fully on Jimmy who smiled into the kiss as he felt Robert moving him backwards onto the huge bed.

Robert gently laid Jimmy back, his legs still over the edge of the bed. Robert moved between them, legs bent until their hard bulges met. Robert grinned too now, starting to move against Jimmy who let out a whimpering sigh. " hmm, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy" Robert gushed, his hands already on Jimmy's fly. " I could take you just like this, you look too delicious."

Jimmy reached down too, sitting up and grabbed Robert's hips, tugging on his waistband. "Do it, Robert, take me! Take me now! Please!"  
In a manic flurry, they peeled each other and themselves out of their clothes, sending shirts, jeans, socks, flying everywhere as they were carelessly discarded.  
Jimmy wrapped his long legs around Robert, totally losing the plot under him.

Robert gave in, rubbing his hard cock against Jimmy's, loving the friction and the way Jimmy quivered and hissed.  
Jimmy grabbed Robert's backside, moving both of them further onto the bed until they found themselves in their favourite position, Robert above Jimmy, Jimmy's legs wrapped around Robert's shoulders, pulling him towards his hole whilst clinging onto him like a little koala bear.

Robert was tempted to enter Jimmy there and then, he tried too, but he knew it would hurt both of them, unprepared as they were.  
He hated the idea of having to let go of Jimmy even for a second, he knew that he would have to dig through his luggage for the Vaseline and Jimmy was pretty far gone already. Yet, needs must.

"Sweetest, " he whispered, "we need a bit of lubrication, ok baby?" Jimmy didn't react or loosen his grip. "My gorgeous baby, hey, I don't want to hurt you, ok? I want to make you feel so, so good! So happy and so good, okay?" Jimmy sighed and at last, his hands let go of Robert's backside, moving to his face. As he kissed Robert, he finally let his legs drop too and Robert moved quickly, frantically searching for the Vaseline. 

He noticed Jimmy's hand wandering between his legs to stroke himself. Robert grinned, devilish. "Hey, don't you dare bring yourself off now, right you randy Rock star? Be a good boy, give me a chance!" Jimmy huffed, but moved his hand away, giving Robert a sulky look. Robert noticed that Jimmy's cock was twitching and he leaked a drop of pre-cum. The little delay appeared to make Jimmy even wilder and Robert decided to store that I formation for later.  
For now , he couldn't wait any longer either. He finally found the tub.

Jimmy threw his beautiful head back, his body going rigid as he felt Robert's expert finger entering him, one first, carefully and loving and when he found Jimmy surprisingly loose, he added another finger. Jimmy spread his legs wider, clawing at Robert's hair. Kissing him. " Robert, Robert, I'm so ready!"  
And Robert couldn't anymore. His self control left him as Jimmy pulled him in again, but this time they were smooth, slippery, soft and prepared. Robert entered Jimmy easily in one move, Jimmy screwed his eyes shut and pulled Robert in until he was buried to the hilt.

*  
"Lunch is ready. Everyone is here. All the equipment is set up. But no sign of Jim and Robert!" Bonzo complained, unable to stop his son from the temptations of the bountiful buffet any longer. " I suggest we eat anyway!" Jonesy's wife Mo suggested, looking at her little daughters. "Agreed, " Richard said. And quietly, smirking, he whispered to G, making sure the children didn't hear him: " if we'd wait for those randy buggers to finish their fucking tantric practices we'd all starve!" G giggled, good natured :" yeah indeed. I guess they have other needs." Then, for everyone to hear: " tug in!"

*

Upstairs in the master bedroom, Led Zeppelin's front men were wrestling on the bed, sweaty, hot, tangled up with each other's strong limbs. Intensely united with each other in a wild, wild song. Jimmy's legs around Robert's neck almost strangled him as Jimmy went into spasms of pleasure. The sharp nails of this right hand dug painfully into Robert's bottom and his left hand clawed at his back. Jimmy pressed his mouth against Robert's well- muscled shoulder, his breath hot and ragged. "It's okay baby" Robert mumbled. " let go, dearest, let go! You're safe!" And Jimmy came, burning and wet, as if a dam had been broken, streaks of come flooding between them. Robert smiled full of love as he watched the other one's contorted face quiver and twitch and finally, slowly relax, until he looked heavenly and deeply content.

Robert found Jimmy's soft lips and kissed him, smiling as the other one barely had the strength to kiss back.

Now it was Robert's turn. He loved making Jimmy come first. He didn't have to worry about him anymore afterwards. Jimmy was soft and pliable, totally relaxed and Robert was able to move freely, concentrating only on the built- up to his own climax. He would have loved to have the self- control to marvel in this warm sensation for longer, soft Jimmy below him, and his own building fire. But he lost himself all too soon, moving rhythmically, carried away until he tensed up, filling the man below him with everything he had to give.

Lunch was over , only scraps left. The warm sun started to melt, cheese, butter and cold meats. The roadies in kitchen duty had no choice but clear the food away to make sure it didn't spoil. One of them mumbled, as he put meat and beer in the large fridge: " damn, what's their secret? I wish I could last half that fucking long with a tasty bird!"

Upstairs in the master bedroom, after half an hour of cuddly dozing, Jimmy let his long, slender fingers circle around Robert's strong chest, caressing the wiry hairs there . He cocked his pretty head, black hair falling into his face. As Robert blinked up again, Jimmy bent down, kissed the left side of Robert's neck and whispered in his ear: "Robert, gorgeous love. I want you again!"


	11. Dancing days pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The band and crew work hard, even though Robert and Jimmy are decidedly preoccupied. Robert's dreams intensify.

Robert curled up to Jimmy who was fast asleep. Robert wouldn't last much longer either. What a day! They'd made love four times, his foggy brain remembered: first thing in the morning when they woke up, still sleepy. Twice this afternoon. And again, lazy and barely able to finish after spending a delightful evening, drinking, smoking and laughing with crew, management, the rest of the band and various friends, kids and dogs. 

Robert's eyelids dropped as he marvelled at the stillness outside and Jimmy's gentle, regular breath. He turned his head, snuggling into Jimmy's hair. Whispered: "love you, sweet dreams my beautiful Jimmy."

When he awoke to a fine day, he kept his eyes closed for a bit longer, listening to the noises around him: he heard quick flitting steps on the huge old staircase, two children chasing each other. Crockery and cutlery clanging somewhere downstairs, a kettle whistling.   
A Male voice saying something, a female voice replying cheerfully. The smell of bacon, eggs and freshly brewed coffee.

Robert tried to hold on to the edge of his dream: it was too beautiful to forget. He remembered towering clouds, high and flooded by light. He was flying, reaching for glittering patches of gold, which grew on the highest cloud mountains. Collecting them to bring them back. For Jimmy. 

He finally opened his eyes when he heard Jimmy play guitar, the same beautiful raising and falling theme he had sometimes played at Bron yr Aur. Jimmy was deeply in thought, the morning sun reflecting on his shiny hair, listening to his own music. It took him some time until he noticed Robert watching him.  
The day was busy and successful: they practiced and recorded outside on the sunny lawn, the occasional small airplane humming overhead and sneaking its noise onto the tapes. Crew and band could hardly believe the change in Jimmy in particular. Where was the moody, strict, fussy and sometimes unpredictable man gone? The hermit, the ghost? 

Now, the man who led them musically couldn't stop himself from smiling. He made clever jokes, and laughed readily. He forgave mistakes with a smile and generously allowed breaks. 

When Robert walked up to Jimmy, who sat on a high stool with his guitar, his eyes sparkled and his face split with the widest grin. Robert wrapped his arms around him, from behind and kissed Jimmy's slender neck. Maybe it was a good thing that Jimmy's beard was so thick now, or everyone would have seen him blush all the time. 

They took a nice long lunch break, where Jimmy led Robert away into the emerald grounds, finding a nicely hidden spot between large shrubs. They shared a bottle of wine and found themselves laying on the fragrant, newly cut grass. Robert's hand wandered under Jimmy's shirt, caressing his slim stomach and Robert grinned as he noticed Jimmy growing rock hard again. 

He leaned over and kissed Jimmy, moving his hand down between Jimmy's legs. When he rubbed against Jimmy's bulge, the other man sighed happily and arched his hips into Robert's touch.

Robert looked around carefully, and when he was sure that they were alone, he opened Jimmy's fly and freed him.   
Jimmy leaned on his elbows and his head dropped back, mouth slack and let Robert palm him for a while.

He gathered himself again and peeled Robert out of his tight jeans too. He gasped when Robert's large, hard cock sprung to life. They kissed and stroked each other, both lost in the other's skillful touch. Jimmy came first again which Robert felt was an achievement. His reward was that Jimmy, after regaining his breath, moved down on Robert. Now it was Robert's turn to sigh and gasp with pleasure. Jimmy let him come in his mouth, swallowing bravely and laying down next to Robert, holding his hand.

They returned, smiling and flushed and the others did have a hard time trying not to imagine what their front men had been up to behind the bushes.  
Their fresh love gave both incredible strength and they worked hard. By the evening, an explosive version of Rock n Roll was in the can and ready to be engineered in the Rolling Stones mobile studio.

Jimmy stayed in the studio to work on the newly recorded tracks and Robert stayed with him, sitting on a small plastic chair. When Jimmy noticed him yawning repeatedly, he let go of the console and caressed Robert's curls. " Sweetheart, why don't you go and warm the bed up for me? I'll be fine here! And I'll be joining you soon, alright?" Robert didn't want to tear himself away from Jimmy but he barely kept his eyes open and did as Jimmy suggested. 

That night, his dreams were even more lively, beautiful and intense. 

He remembered those dreams for the rest of his life. It started in total darkness; he heard the gurgling of a small brook. And a bird started to sing in the gloom, high up in a mighty oak. The song soared, rising and falling, filling the woods with its wondrous echoes. The moon, large and yellow, sinking in the west. He found himself wandering along, passing a sign that puzzled him. He read it and read it again. He knew it had two meanings, but he couldn't be sure. Before he knew what it said, he awoke, this time to Jimmy playing his guitar in the large chair next to the high window. Robert recognised the tune as something clearly belonging to the tune he'd played the day before. A variation. And then something completely new, yet fitting perfectly. 

Robert felt a tugging in his heart, a stirring deep inside him which had nothing to do with his morning erection.

Jimmy smiled up to him and put the guitar away. Fast and nimble, he jumped off the chair and right into Robert's lap. He wrapped his wiry arms around Robert who smiled up at Jimmy. " Good morning, my love, " Jimmy said, " my, you look so happy! Did you dream something nice?" Robert nodded thoughtfully, a mysterious grin on his face. But he didn't answer. Instead he said: " how could I not be happy, Jimmy my baby? I've got you! I'm the luckiest person in the whole wide universe!"   
And before Jimmy could reply, he pulled him into a breathless kiss. 

Another sunny, successful day followed. The highlight was when Bonzo managed to drum with four sticks at the same time. It sounded fantastic and to mark the occasion, the band unanimously agreed that the song they worked on that day should he called Four Sticks. 

In the evening, everyone gathered around a large bonfire. Robert and Jimmy played guitar and everyone sang and clapped along. The sweet, pungent smell of strong weed mixed with the night air and laughter drifted across the grounds.

That night Robert's dreams where vivid and intriguing: voices of people looking on, but he couldn't see why. He wondered. There was that tune again, winding through the darkness in the woods. The same tune the bird had sung, but this time played on a whistle, a pipe or flute. Rings of smoke slowly rising through the trees. A silvery glow in the east, a new dawn rising. Mirthful, delighted laughter echoing through the forest. Robert turned in his sleep, moving closer to Jimmy's warm body.

A change of scenery. Bright daylight, spring air, Robert found himself wandering along an ancient hedgerow. A sudden rustling startled him, until a young woman emerged in a white gown, a flower crown on her head, swinging a broom. Crossroads on a wide open field, but they met again. A gust of wind, whistling, carrying that same tune again. 

A quiet, metallic noise woke him; Jimmy sat, with headphones on and his Gibson in his lap, practicing something. Even though Robert couldn't quite hear it, he could tell that Jimmy was working on an epic solo. Jimmy seemed to sense Robert's eyes on him, looked up and took the headphones off. " Oh sorry love, did I wake you? I was hoping I'd be quiet enough, with the headphones..." 

" ' s alright" Robert mumbled sleepily. He rubbed his eyes to wake himself up a little more and said "it sounds amazing, even like that, my clever boy. Why don't you take the headphones off the speaker and let me hear what you've been working in properly?" Jimmy shrugged: " I'm only practicing. Noodling. It's nothing really..."   
" come on baby, don't be shy in front of old Robert Anthony, hmm?" 

When Jimmy played the parts of his solo, Robert was blown away.   
" That's amazing Jim. What song is it for?" Jimmy looked uncertain. " well, I'm not sure. You know I've been working on this one particular tune for a while..."  
" but that was really gentle and slow, acoustic, wasn't it? This solo is awesome, but much faster...how...?

Suddenly, Jimmy got animated and excited, using his hands to underline his words. " Robert, I'm thinking about trying something totally new. Break the rules. Start slow and speed up, let it build. You know, how everyone tells you that you have to keep the same rhythm and speed within a song? Well, I think we can go further!" Robert gazed in wonder. 

What Jimmy suggested was very bold indeed. And it would be a challenge for all of them, musically. If they really managed to pull this off, it could be huge. Groundbreaking even. " Robert? Tell me what you're thinking?" Jimmy asked, suddenly uncertain. " I think this will be epic. I know we have the best drummer and bassist. The very best guitarist anyway. If any band can pull it off it'll be us!" 

Jimmy's gorgeous, eye wrinkling smile returned: "that's the spirit, love!" And with that, he put his guitar down, sat on the bed and threw his arms around Robert's shoulders. "You know what? You forgot to say that Led Zeppelin also has the most talented, most beautiful singer, hey Robert?"


	12. Dancing days pt 3

That day was different. The weather had changed overnight and rain streaked the windows, blurring the outside world to a mass of grey and green. It was so dark downstairs in the breakfast room, that the lights had to be switched on and a fire crackled in the cast iron Aga. Everyone huddled around mugs of hot tea, wearing jumpers, ponchos and leather jackets. 

Robert found a plush chair near the pleasantly warm kitchen range, and he felt a little too warm with his colourful woolen jumper. Not that Jimmy seemed bothered. He planted himself right in Robert's lap, the buckle of his black leather jacket digging into Robert's stomach. 

But Jimmy smiled ever so sweetly, found a piece of buttered toast and fed it to Robert. He barely felt like eating but anything Jimmy offered was irresistible. Mo grinned at them across the table, and when both looked back at her simultaneously, she blushed a little and gushed: "aww, you two are just the cutest! Never seen such a loved- up couple in my life!"

Robert wondered if Jimmy noticed that Robert was getting hard and hot in his jeans, hoping sincerely that attentive Mo didn't. But when Jimmy grinned and wriggled his hips provocatively, making Robert gasp involuntarily and almost come, he knew Jimmy played him. He knew how to revenge himself though - they'd barely finished their breakfast, when Robert stood up, scooped Jimmy off his lap and carried him towards the stairs. 

The crew had no choice but to set up inside the large living room. The rain kept pounding the windows and the wind howled down the many fireplaces.   
It wasn't new to see Robert distracted, but Jimmy was pretty distracted too. His eyes kept straying over to Robert and he seemed caught up in a day dream. Whenever Robert looked back, both men started to giggle and blush. Robert blew a kiss at Jimmy and Jimmy winked at Robert. 

Jonesy sighed quietly. He had been sharing his ideas for When the Levi Breaks four times now but he felt as if he was talking to a brick wall. Neither Jimmy nor Robert seemed to take much notice. 

Bonzo hadn't even had the chance to try his drums yet and was worried that they'd be too loud. But for now, he just twiddled his drumsticks, looking bored. To everyone's consternation, Jimmy snuck over to Robert and they started to whisper and giggle. At long last, Jimmy lifted his hand, cleared his throat as if to call the musicians for a serious attempt. Jonesy, Bonzo and Andy Johns, their technician, sighed with relief. But Robert pulled Jimmy into a rather lascivious kiss, to which he responded enthusiastically .

Richard, who had watched from the sidelines, finally had enough: "right, you two! God, can't you keep your hands off each other for five minutes? I heard you this morning, surely you got it out of your system by now?" 

Jimmy turned, slowly, his attitude changed completely. He looked dark and angry. If he'd been a cat, Robert was sure he'd hissed at Richard. Instead he said, quiet and menacing: "what did you just say, Richard?" Their road manager studied the floor and muttered: "I'm sorry, I just mean, err, we should try to..."   
Jimmy looked at him, darkly: "Richard, remember the deal?" And Richard slunk away, avoiding any further eye contact with Jimmy and Robert.

But at last, the band did make a serious attempt. Robert's mouth organ sounded great, bluesy and intense. Jimmy's guitar answered back, grinding and shivering, and Jonesy added a droning bass. But when Bonzo tried his drums, everything else faded in the background and was barely audible. Jimmy stopped them and moved the drum microphones around. They tried again but with the same results. They kept trying different set ups, different angles, different drum sticks. Bonzo grabbed a large cushion and stuffed it in his bass drum but all it did was dampen his sound.

"I think, we have no choice but to move you out into the hallway." Jimmy sighed. Everyone looked at him, puzzled and Bonzo protested, but Jonesy and Andy had to agree. Huffing, Bonzo moved his kit outside in the hall, just under the two flights of staircase. 

And when he played again, the echoing boom threw everyone off their seats. The way the drums reverberated through to double staircase, thundering through the house, was huge and unearthly. Robert instinctively added his wailing mouth organ, and the result was mind blowing. Jimmy stopped Robert and Jonesy, looking at Andy. He asked: " mate, will you help me set up the microphones in the staircase?" Andy looked perplexed but didn't dare to argue.  
Jimmy and Andy spent their time and a lot of Bonzo's patience trying to set up the microphones in the right places, eventually hanging some over the banister right at the top. 

When they listened to the test recording later, Jimmy grinned triumphantly: "Ha! Other musicians have a reverb button, but our reverb is an actual mansion! Only the finest for Led Zeppelin!" He proudly patted Bonzo's bulky shoulder and everyone broke into spontaneous applause. The argument earlier appeared forgotten. Well, almost.

After lunch, the weather changed again and a warm summer breeze soon dried the grounds. Band and crew messed around outside, taking a little break after the morning's intense session. They threw sticks for the dogs and balls for the children and some thoughtful soul brought a crate of brown ale.

Robert watched Jonesy and Mo dance around with their two little girls and he started humming a cheerful tune. " Dancing Days! Jimmy, we should record a really cheerful song called Dancing Days!" Jimmy got in the mood and danced around to Robert singing. They twirled around each other, Jimmy running towards Robert who caught him, bent him over backwards like a flamenco dancer and then kissed him, laughing as he helped him back up.

Andy and Richard joined them in front of the house, Andy with a camera, taking pictures of the mansion, band and crew. When Jimmy spotted them, he waved, a mischievous twinkle in his mossy green eyes. "Hey Andy, how about a few shots of the Led Zeppelin front-men? Preserve the moment for posterity and all that?" Andy loved the idea and quickly positioned himself near the front door, ready to snap Jimmy and Robert. But Richard got pale behind his shaggy beard. Robert started singing again and both danced around. 

" Nooo!" Richard wailed but it was too late. Jimmy and Robert danced with each other for the camera, all smiles, fiery eyes firmly on each other. Richard mumbled: " oh God, those photos need to be destroyed..." Andy looked shocked: " no way! It'll destroy the whole film! It's for my private collection, you have no right Richard....!"   
Jimmy snook up to Richard, mumbling darkly: "Jimmy Page never forgets. We have a deal. Every time, and I mean every time you say the wrong things, we will drop hints for the general public." And a little louder " Mark my words!" Then he patted Richard's arm sweetly and Richard apologized profusely. 

In the evening, the rain and wind returned.  
Robert found it rather cozy, with Jimmy snuggled up to him in the soft bed. He heard the rain drops patter against the window and looked down where Jimmy rested on his chest. The soft bedside lamp's light caressed his fine features. Robert felt his heart burst with love, as he reached out with a trembling hand to smooth Jimmy's wild hair. He bent down, his lips warm and red and kissed Jimmy's fine forehead. He whispered: " I love you, I love you, I love you. Oh James Patrick Page, my heart, my only, only one! I feel that I could die, I love you so much!" 

"Shh, Robert , my Robert! My love, my one and only! I never knew, you know, never thought I could fall so, so much in love. You! You are all that matters to me. My Robert!"

" Yes, yours Jimmy. I'm all yours." There was such magic in the air, neither dared to move at first. But Robert finally broke, closing his eyes, uniting his burning lips with Jimmy's soft, moist ones and both sighed and moaned, shivering, into the kiss. 

Robert slowly lowered himself onto Jimmy, both wearing nothing but boxers. They felt each others wildly beating hearts, Robert covering Jimmy entirely like a blanket. Jimmy groaned lustily and let his hands wander along Robert's well muscled back, massaging along his spine, finally, with a cheeky grin, reaching further down, grabbing Robert's perfect butt cheeks. Robert hissed and found Jimmy's lips again, burrowing his hands in Jimmy's hair and kissed him breathless. 

Jimmy's nimble hands wandered under the waistband of Robert's boxers and Robert helped him getting undressed. When he was completely naked, he buried his nose in Jimmy's hair, nibbled on his earlobe and murmured: "let me return the favour, beautiful boy." Robert lifted himself off just enough to remove Jimmy's boxers and when he laid back down, his fingers wandered between Jimmy's legs, already nicely lubricated. But Jimmy twitched when Robert touched him and Robert couldn't deny that he felt somewhat sore too as he erection grew. 

He giggled : "Jimmy baby, I think we need to switch! Would you...?" Robert sat up to let Jimmy get up, and Jimmy did. He kneeled on his hunches and stretched his arms up, his eyes closed. Robert's mouth dropped open: "goodness, oh my goodness, you are so, so beautiful!" Without opening his eyes, Jimmy smiled contracting the muscles on his skinny stomach and making him look even more taunt and sculpted. 

Robert couldn't anymore. Like a child unable to resist his most desired toy in the shop window, Robert caressed the beautiful body in front of him, the firm stomach, the slim chest, up to that patch of fluffy soft hair just around Jimmy's collar bones, his eyes full of wonder. Jimmy held his pose for Robert to explore, to worship, but his breath got ragged and unsteady. When Robert moved his lips to enclose one of Jimmy's small, hard nipples, Jimmy couldn't hold himself anymore. He dug his hands into Robert's wild golden mane, moving him further down, until Robert understood. 

Robert took Jimmy's cock in his mouth, sucking lightly and felt Jimmy twitch and harden further. Before Jimmy could lose himself entirely, Robert let go again, handing Jimmy the lube, and kissing him hotly. 

Jimmy took Robert from behind, holding his well defined hip bones and just fucked him, no tricks, no finesse, just pure desire. 

Robert gave himself up, completely becoming one with Jimmy, feeling him everywhere, so, so deep inside they were literally one. As Jimmy got wilder and rougher, grabbing Robert's hair with one hand, his shoulder with the other and riding him hard, Robert reached down to stroke himself. The double onslaught was too much. He was past the point of no return. This time the great Robert Plant was defeated, throwing his head back in sheer rapture as he bucked and streaked his hand and the bed with lashes of hot cum. 

Jimmy helped a sweaty, limp Robert to turn on his back, spread his legs, and when he was sure Robert was comfortable, he entered him again. The soft yet tight heat, the intoxicating scent of post- coital Robert was heavenly, he allowed himself to get lost in feelings so intense they were holy. 

When he came, he felt like saying: "onto thee, take my offering, my angel." But he couldn't get any words out. Sweaty and hot, he curled up to Robert and was amazed to find that Robert somehow still had the strength to pull Jimmy closer, kiss the top of his head and whisper: " love you Jimmy. G night baby."

Robert dreamed again. His dreams weren't quite nightmares, but they didn't have the serene, magical atmosphere of his previous dreams: this time, the sun stood low and fiery. He walked along, Jonesy, Bonzo and Jimmy next to him, their shadows endless. 

In the gloom, a lady in a white dress appeared, with a flower crown, shining a white, clear light far into the darkness. The lady changed, and became an old man in a long white gown, his face hooded, a grey beard showing. Robert got closer, and the old face was oh so familiar. Robert whispered: "I love you, my hermit, always." He kissed the ancient, wrinkled hand and suddenly, the old face started to get younger and younger. He reached the stage where he looked just like Jimmy did now. But he got younger still, like he looked when they first met. Next, like he did on the old Yardbird record sleeves. Then a mere boy, a tiny baby, an embryo. A star somewhere in outer space. Still my one true love, my hermit, my Jimmy, no matter in which form. I want to be your rock, Robert said in his dream, to stop you from rolling, rolling to your doom. It didn't really make sense, but dreams rarely do.

Below them the road had become shiny. Each tree, blade of grass every leaf, flower and berry on the hedgerow turned to gold.   
The tune, the now familiar tune played somewhere far, far away. It was light again, high towering clouds with golden tops, like his first dream. But this time there were steps leading all the way up to the gold capped clouds. A stairway to heaven. And a sign that said "for sale".


	13. Dancing Days pt 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last day of Led Zep's first Headly Grange session. And Robert has a divine revelation.

That morning, their last one of this recording session, Jimmy found Robert awake, sitting bolt upright in bed as if possessed. He was scribbling frantically in his notebook. 

Jimmy leaned his head against Robert's shoulder, but Robert did not respond, he continued to scribble wildly. Jimmy sat up again, looking at his love. He'd never seen him like this: he was poised, motionless apart from his fast moving hand. His eyes were glassy and fixed, his mouth ever so slightly open. He seemed to be glowing, a halo of light around him. 

Wait, was he genuinely possessed? A conduit? How was that possible, Robert was receptive but not occult or particular religious.  
Jimmy stared in wonder. He knew he was witnessing something enormous and whatever Robert conceived and put on paper that morning, Jimmy knew, would be life- changing. For them and their audience. For generations to come. Change the face of popular music forever. Yet, he didn't dare to approach Robert until the other one dropped his pen, the scrapbook slipping from his hands, and he fell back on the bed, evidently utterly exhausted and spent.  
Jimmy couldn't wait to see what Robert had received but he was more concerned for his partner, wrapping his arms around him and kissing his forehead which had become unusually pale and covered in cold sweat. 

"Robert, my love, please tell me that you are ok? My love, what happened?"   
Robert stirred in Jimmy's arms, rubbed his eyes and looked confused. "Hey, gorgeous, I think you just had something like...divine intuition?" Robert looked at him, strange. "What, how? I only just woke up!" He scrunched his face up : "mind, baby, I feel as if I'd just run 10 miles! I feel..shaken..got any whiskey or something?" Now, that was truly unusual, Robert never drank in the morning . But he looked so pale and shaken, that Jimmy got up, found a bottle in the minibar and gave Robert a tumbler. He watched Robert drink, but his curiosity got the better of him and he got Robert's notebook, which still laid open. 

Robert's writing was particularly untidy, large letters, written in a hurry and apparent turmoil. When he read the first few lines, he knew for certain that Robert had been a medium - no mortal, not even Robert, could write something like this without help from something...bigger. He read all the lyrics, turning over pages, enraptured: each line made no sense, and at the same time, made perfect sense simultaneously. He instantly understood it even though it was full of paradoxes. The last part read like a riddle, a warning, promise and comfort in the darkest hour: "as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our souls, there walks a lady we all know, who shines white light and wants to show, how everything still turns to gold. And if you listen very hard, the tune will come to you at last." He gasped at the last two lines: "when all is one, and one is all, to be a rock and not to roll."

"Jimmy baby, why are you crying?" Robert asked gently. Jimmy wiped his eyes, he hadn't even noticed it but his eyes were streaming with tears. " Robert this...this is ...incredible. "   
" What is?" Robert asked and Jimmy gave him the notebook. Robert read and his eyes grew large and round. " Jimmy, I have no recollection of writing this! It doesn't even make sense!"   
" But it does, my genius. It means whatever it is supposed to mean to every single person. It changes its meaning as people change and learn. Its iridescent and complex."  
Robert shook his head and looked a little spooked:" are you sure I wrote it?"   
" Gorgeous, I saw you write it. Look, its your very unique handwriting!"   
" That's...scary...it reminds me of dreams I've been having but ..."  
" Robert, love, I've heard about it before. You had a divine intuition. Great prophets had this. It's very rare and extremely special. You are truly blessed, Robert. Only very, very few people are ever able to be a vessel like you have this morning." Jimmy cried again and this time, Robert joined him. They just hemd each other for a while, crying into each other's shoulders with the sheer power of their emotions. 

Suddenly, Jimmy let go, jumped up and grabbed his guitar. He played the rising and falling theme twice until Robert found a melody. It was the tune hed been hearing in his dreams. When he tried to sing the magical words along to it, they were a perfect match.   
They lay together, holding each other so very tight, crying hard. " we've, we've done it ..." Robert sobbed. "This is...a higher power looking down...Jimmy, oh, Jimmy...we are, truly, truly blessed!" 

Jimmy kissed him, wet and hot. Robert caressed Jimmy's slim back and they were naked again, skin on skin. They started so slow, so gentle. Jimmy was on top of Robert, but for now it was enough to just lay there, moving slowly and losing themselves in endless kisses. Robert barely noticed when Jimmy prepared him, but he sighed with relief as he felt Jimmy inside him. They flew together as one, all boundaries disappeared. Stars and light and gold capped clouds . Building and building, climbing that stairway to the ultimate heaven with each other. 

They sped up, in unison, fucking each other crazy, driving each other insane with desire. Jimmy bolted up, letting out a mighty, guttural sound and Robert answered, thrusting against Jimmy's solid stomach one more time. Robert screamed, a scream from somewhere deep, deep down.   
They fell and fell, racing past the stars, the gleaming clouds, the burning sun but instead up smashing into the ground they landed feathery soft, securely in each others arms. There they lay, gasping for air. It was so quiet now, and neither dared to break the silence at first. Finally, Robert moved, gently stroking Jimmy's soft hair back. His voice was barely more than a whisper: "I. Love. You. I..." he couldn't continue. He was overwhelmed with emotion as he sunk back down to hide his tears in Jimmy's hair.

Jimmy turned over, holding Robert closer. " my love, my Robert love, I. Love. You. Too. Forever." A mighty sob wracked him before he slowly relaxed in Robert's arms. 

A few hours later, G carefully knocked Jimmy and Robert's bedroom door, but there was no reply. He tried the door handle and found the door unlocked.  
Inside, he discovered his two front men, exhausted, tangled up with each other, fast asleep. Clothes still strewn on the floor from last night, a half empty bottle of whiskey on the bedside table and a guitar leaning on the large chair by the window. Their contrasting curls messy and sweaty but their faces gentle and angelic in their united slumber. Vulnerable, so vulnerable. He felt like a father who held his new-born for the very first time. And he knew, they'd have to be so, so careful once their next shows came along. He would shelter and protect them, whatever it would take, no efforts or expenses spared.


	14. Land of ice and snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Led Zeppelin are due their first major performance since Jimmy and Robert have come out to their band, crew, friends and family: the 2nd Bath festival. And it is freezing!  
> I have written this chapter and post it early for my dear, most reliable supporter and commenter C. Johnson. I wish you a very happy birthday! Hope you like your little present :-) and I hope there will be plenty of Led Zeppelin and good wine on your special day!

It was freezing. Jimmy shuffled closer to his warm, strong, sleeping angel, pulling their large patchwork quilt over both of them and buried his little nose in the crook of Robert's neck. Robert sighed quietly in his sleep, turning his head ever so lightly to be even closer to Jimmy. 

Outside, dim cloud-covered morning light rose above Jennings Farm, where Jimmy and Robert were holed up again since their return from Headly Grange. Jimmy wasn't a country person before joining Robert but by now, the bleating of young goats, clucking of excited chickens and crowing of their mighty cockerel felt like home; earthy, warm and comforting.

Jimmy inhaled his blond love's scent and smiled. If it wasn't so cold, he would have felt entirely content. Well almost. Today, they would have to perform their first big show since coming out to their crew, band members and family. They would headline the Bath festival at the huge Shepton Mallet showgrounds in Gloucestershire.   
G hadn't been sure if the boys were quite ready, so'd he made a few rather ridiculous requests and charged an amount, up front, which he thought the hippy organisers were not able to pay. But unbelievably, the crazy couple sold their home and gave up just about everything to be able to afford top acts. They just had to have Led Zeppelin and in the end, G could no longer refuse.

Robert awoke, stretching his strong arms above his head and his clear blue eyes focused on Jimmy's soft face. Robert smiled like sunshine. Neither spoke , no words were needed. Robert kissed Jimmy, slow and lazy, still a little sleepy but he felt his Kundalini uncoil fast deep at the bottom of his spine. Dream images faded as desire flooded his brain and every fiber of his existence . Robert lowered his arms, brushed his fingers through Jimmy's messy curls, briefly caressed his round, skinny shoulders and moved down to circle insistent touches in the small of his back. Robert felt Jimmy move and clench deliciously his arms, his kiss getting hotter, wet and open. Robert knew that Jimmy wanted him, now, as he finally clutched Jimmy's tight round bottom in his hands, moving him against his own hard- on to get heat and friction. 

It went from there, swift and easy as both preferred to sleep naked. Without breaking the kiss, Robert opened Jimmy, caressing him and dipping his finger inside, moist and slippery with Vaseline. "Hnnnggg' Jimmy sighed, moving into Robert's touch and Robert knew what it meant: 'I'm ready, I want you now.'  
Robert took Jimmy from behind, spooning him. He liked how helpless Jimmy was and how willing to receive.

Robert moved; steady, rhythmic thrusts, rocking sweet Jimmy in his arms until he was a gasping, shivering mess, his soft mouth open and his eyes closed firmly in ecstasy. Robert smiled to himself; he had learned to concentrate so much on Jimmy's pleasure that he was nowhere near his own climax. Robert continued to fuck Jimmy, holding him securely, letting him dwell in his pleasure until he could feel him rising, getting more tense, his breath speeding up. Now, Robert knew, time to move his hand down where Jimmy was so hard and in desperate need of a few final touches. And Jimmy flew, thrown out of his own body by the force of his orgasm, giving himself up completely like he only ever could with Robert.   
Robert stopped when he felt Jimmy relax, gave him a moment before he slowly, gently moved Jimmy to lay under him. 

As Robert lifted Jimmy's legs upon his shoulders and entered him again, Jimmy finally opened his eyes. Their gaze met. Jimmy looked beautifully disheveled, sweat-soaked curls clinging to his forehead, his luscious lips damp and red raw, his eyes glassy and his face shining with happiness. As Robert sunk down to fill him, Jimmy wrapped his hands around Robert's strong neck and said, gasping: "Robert I, I adore you."

'And I curse you, James!' Robert thought, 45 minutes later, as he stepped into the shower and found that Jimmy, as usual, had used up all the hot water. Still, he couldn't help but smile. Through the bathroom door he could hear Jimmy's soft voice humming along to his guitar. Rising and falling. They had both been obsessed with their new, epic creation since they had returned from Headly Grange. Robert bravely stepped below the stinging cold water and willed himself to relax enough to wash his hair very, very quickly. At least, when he stepped out, he felt pleasantly refreshed and ready for their big day. 

And what a day it was. All four band members were squeezed into the back of a large black limousine which slowly made it's way past the backstage gate over the grassy ground. The psychedelic sound of Santana's skillful percussion ensemble and howling Hammond organ transformed the large ground into something resembling a giant voodoo ritual, with long haired people clapping and dancing around ecstatically. The wafts of sweet cannabis and burning incense completed the scene and Robert felt a happy flutter of excitement in his stomach. He loved the stage. He loved the audience and he had missed it. But Jimmy next to him wrapped his hand around Robert's arm shyly, as if he was desperate to hold on for some comfort. Robert checked carefully before he leaned into Jimmy and whispered: hey, baby, are you alright?" Jimmy nodded, stiffly, without looking up and mumbled " 'm okay, just a bit cold." Robert nudged a little closer and when he was sure that no one could see them through the darkened windows, he lifted Jimmy's hand and kissed it softly. They stayed like this until they stopped behind the large open air stage.

Photographers waited and so did young Freddy, the organizer. G was most charming in a way only G could be, giving the young man a friendly bear-hug and used the opportunity to mutter: "now, my friend, I trust that we find everything as discussed. Photos only out here. No one is allowed in our backstage area. Hear me? No one. You can film the show and take photos but if I catch any bootleggers, I will drown them in the river Wye along with you and all you care for." G chuckled as he let go and watched Freddy's face looking rather concerned. He stuttered: " I'm sure, Mr Grant, you and your band and crew will find everything to your satisfaction." G patted Freddy's skinny shoulder with his paw, and the young man nearly buckled. He grinned and said: "That's my boy" before he finally let go of the terrified lad. Out front, Frank Zappa and his band had taken over and their wild, dark sound echoed strangely distorted behind the stage. Jimmy fished his hat from the car's back seat and buttoned his long, grey coat up. Robert bravely opened his tight flowery shirt for the photographers. "Fuck, aren't you cold at all?" Jimmy muttered through clenched teeth. Robert smirked: " no. This is pleasantly warm compared to the fucking shower at the farm after you've been in it!" 

When they got to their designated backstage area, they did find that the organizers had been as good as their word: Led Zeppelin had their own separate area with a large table full of fruit, snacks, drinks and some rather obscure but pretty effective substances. Whilst Johnny Winter took the stage, team Zeppelin got increasingly excited and they were soon buzzing around, laughing, smoking, drinking and watching their roadies and technicians getting their gear ready. All apart from Jimmy. He sat in a corner his hat pulled over his ears, his pretty face well hidden between said hat and his beard, still wrapped in his coat, bent over his guitar and amp, practising. Robert, who had been laughing and joking with Bonzo excused himself and crouched down next to Jimmy. He laid his hand on Jimmy's denim clad knee and looked up to him, catching a glimpse of those magical green eyes. "Baby, are you really that cold? Wouldn't it help if you joined us? You barely had any lunch! And there's good stuff here, I'm sure it would...you know...warm you up!" Jimmy stopped playing and switched the amp off. He carefully leaned his Gibson against the speaker. Silently, he turned to Robert, and snuggled up to him. "Hold me?" He asked, and Robert wrapped his arms around the smaller man. At least, his coat's first few buttons were open. Robert looked down and shook his head, finally asking: "goodness, Jimmy, how many layers are you wearing? A coat, a hat, a vest, a shirt...you can't go on stage like that!" Jimmy grunted. "Yeah I can. It's so fucking freezing. At the end of bloody June!" Robert held Jimmy a little closer. Yes it was an unusually cold late June day, but he sure hoped Jimmy hadn't caught the flu.

Richard appeared next to them, and Jimmy immediately looked at him, defiant. "Hey no, don't look at me like that!" Richard defended himself quickly, " I only wanted to let you know that it's time for your performance!""Come on now," Robert cooed to Jimmy, "at least take your coat and hat off! You'd warm up in no time out there!" But Jimmy shook his head. 

Bonzo and Jonesy stood next to them, bouncing excitedly on their heels, ready to storm out. Bonzo looked over to their front men - what took them so long? He found Robert holding Jimmy gently and Jimmy leaning against him. Bonzo stepped right next to them: "eherrm! Damn you two, will you just kiss at last so we can finally get out there?" Robert smiled at his friend, apologetically and held Jimmy's black bearded chin, kissed him softly, grabbed his hand and dragged him out to the huge stage. He only let go once they emerged past the drum kit to the glorious sight of 200.000 excited kids stretching out as far as the eye could see on the grassy grounds. It was 8pm, but British summer nights are long and light and they could see them jump up like the sudden rising if a spring tide and the roar of hundreds and thousands of voices filled the air. Jimmy swiftly turned to his band, grinning. This was their largest audience so far in the UK. And the band had just the right treat for them, opening with their wildest riffs ever and stunning them into oblivion as Robert screamed on top of his voice: "Ahhh! Ahhh! We come from the land of ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs flow!" Composing himself a little, adding almost menacing: " thunder of the gods..." Eyewitnesses later said they felt as if hit by said hammer of the gods square in the gut. That day was the first time the world heard Immigrant Song.

Three hours and three encores later, Bonzo, Jonsey and Robert were sweat soaked and flying high, as was everyone in their deafened audience. But Jimmy still wore his coat and hat. He looked pale but grinned happily. He had played very well indeed, they all had and he knew it.

Backstage, the tables had been replenished with drinks, food and "medicines " and a very happy Freddy greeted them. "Led Zeppelin! My favourites! Best. Band. Ever! Lads, we have a fantastic party going and we'd love to have you there. Robert and Bonzo grinned and nodded enthusiastically, Jonesy had already left - he always did right after UK concerts to be with his family as soon as possible- but Jimmy didn't respond at all. Robert waited until Freddy left the room before he cupped Jimmy's face. "What's the matter baby? Sweetheart, you were great out there' don't you want to celebrate? They're all there! Lovely Donovan even stayed from this morning!"   
" No, it's ok. I didn't feel it on the stage but now that I'm off stage I feel even colder. Chilled to the bone. You stay and have fun love, I'll see you later..." Robert noticed a visible shiver going through Jimmy and he swayed slightly. Robert laid his hands on Jimmy's forehead and gasped, pulling it away quickly. His fears were confirmed. " oh baby, you poor boy! You are burning up! I can't believe you just managed three hours of absolutely amazing music like this!"

" Its...its like the best drug in the world, playing live. I was so high! I didn't feel anything bad when I was...." his legs gave in and he sunk down. Robert held onto him before he could hit the ground, called their chauffeur and carried Jimmy to the car.


	15. Where the spirits fly – Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy and Robert are back on the farm, and Jimmy expresses an idea many would consider foolhardy. But Robert supports him, not wavering once.  
> I'm posting this early because I have a very busy weekend ahead! Didn't want to keep you waiting. Hope you enjoy x

“I want to buy Boleskine House” Jimmy announced from where he was laying, his head in Robert’s lap. 

Thankfully, Jimmy had recovered quite quickly from his sudden bout of flu after their hugely successful appearance at Bath festival -thanks to a strong course of penicillin, Maureen’s fragrant, immune- boosting aryuvedic soups and Robert’s devoted day and night nursing care.

It was beautiful out here on Jennings’s farm’s sun-flooded field; the air smelled deliciously of fresh, juicy grass and meadow-sweet, bees buzzed in the air and a pair of sky-blue butterflies danced around each other, higher and higher into the sunshine. 

Maureen had bought more animals, some sheep and two beautiful English warm-blood horses, one chestnut and one black. They were grazing in the distance as a mild summer evening lay over the peaceful land. 

“Boleskine house?” Robert asked, not sure what Jimmy was talking about. He absentmindedly caressed the other’s fine black hair. “Hm-hm” Jimmy replied. “And you do know Boleskine House.” Robert scratched his head, contemplating. “Oh wait! I’m sure I read about it once, in a book about haunted houses. Isn’t that where, uhm, the founder of Thelema used to live? Aleister Crowley?” Jimmy grinned proudly. “Indeed. The scary stories mean that it is secluded and undisturbed. And yes, my love it’s the holy centre of the Thelema. It is for sale and apparently someone wants to turn it into a Bed and Breakfast and another potential buyer wants to knock it down because it needs work and built a hotel in its place.” He suddenly looked worried and serious. “Someone has to protect the house. It would be sacrilege to do either of those.” 

“Where exactly is it?” Robert enquired.  
“Ah, in a most beautiful and wild location. Up north in Scotland. Near Inverness. Lots of private land around it. Robert, it would be the perfect get-away and I would be doing a huge service to all Thelemites. It would mean a lot to me.” 

Robert giggled and bend down to kiss Jimmy’s pale forehead. “Baby, it’s entirely your decision. If you want to buy it, you’ll buy it. And I’ll follow you wherever you go!”  
“See?” Jimmy said, suddenly sitting up, hugging Robert quickly. “Do you see why I prefer to be with you, and not some woman? Any woman would have tried to talk me out of it! Called me crazy or mad or possessed or whatever. But you, you just accept me!” Robert shook his head, smiling. “Oh Jimmy, James, you’ve got to stop being so prejudiced! There are open minded women, you know. Just because you don’t fall in love with them…” Jimmy cut him off by putting his tongue down Robert’s throat. 

Once they de-tangled themselves again, Robert looked at Jimmy mischievously. Called the horses, and the black one responded. “I’ll go with you to your haunted house if you will ride this horse with me!” Jimmy scratched his nose and looked a little scared. “Come on, he is as gentle as a lamb.” Jimmy was a little shaky as Robert gave him a firemen’s ladder. Once on the horse, Jimmy knotted his fingers in its mane. Robert led the horse to a nearby tree stump, and as the animal moved, Jimmy looked even more uncomfortable. But when Robert mounted the horse and sat behind him, his arms securely around Jimmy and holding the reigns, Jimmy soon relaxed. This was awesome. He felt like a princess who had just been rescued by a most handsome prince. 

When they returned, Maureen was surprised to see Jimmy on the horse with Robert and asked how Robert got him to be so brave. “Well, he is a lot braver than that. He wants to buy Boleskine house!” Maureen gasped. “Boleskine house? Britain’s most haunted place? The demon residence? You are mad!” “Maureen!” Robert called, too late. Jimmy gave him a meaningful look that clearly said, “told you so.”


	16. Where the spirits fly – Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy and Robert head to the north of Scotland to stay at Jimmy's newly acquired Boleskine, a place struck by bad fortune since the dawn of British civilization. Robert finally gets to see a glimpse of Jimmy's innermost belief, which he has so carefully guarded from everyone, even Robert. Their northern adventure begins.

They drove up and even further up the grassy and wooded slopes north- west of Loch Ness in a Land Rover they had rented in Inverness. Robert was driving as Jimmy still hadn’t found time to get his own licence with their busy concert and recording schedule. 

They’d driven along the Loch, which looked positively mysterious. The water appeared black and the sunlight, which shone in streaks through the clouds, painted bright silver markings across the water. The shores were out of an unusual red terracotta- coloured stone and it stretched, deep and narrow, so far to the West that they could not see where it ended. 

The waves seemed to come from different and unpredictable directions, causing ripples that could easily give the impression that something was living down there. Something huge. Robert wouldn’t have been surprised if a giant sea creature slithered below the dark surface, breaking the waves as it lifted its ugly head.  
But now, as they rumbled along a gravel road leading up to the house, they’d left the loch behind. Evening light bathed the meadows and pine trees in an orangey glow. 

“You didn’t tell me that the house has its own graveyard!” Robert exclaimed, pointing to the right, where several old gravestones towered surrounded by a dry-stone wall. “Come on, surely you know that most old mansions used to have their own little graveyards. It’s not uncommon. No one was buried here for decades.” ‘I’m still glad Jennings Farm doesn’t have a graveyard’, Robert thought but kept quiet.

The house itself was built on a mound. It looked unusual. Robert had expected a proud tall mansion but Boleskine House had only one floor. It crouched long and flat upon its raised platform, white with high latticed windows, two structures similar to small half-towers to the right and left and in the middle a raised gable with a rounded window in it. Its roof was covered in black slate and Robert counted four chimneys. The last evening glow reached the top of the grassy platform and the house looked fiery red in the light, before it was fading fast.

Robert turned over to Jimmy, who was looking on in awe. “Could you stop the car please?” Jimmy asked, and Robert killed the engine. It was so quiet suddenly, like a void. “Excuse me for a moment” Jimmy said, jumping out of the car. He stood, tall, his arms outstretched and took a deep, deep breath. Suddenly, he dashed his right hand down, forcibly expelling his breath and shouted, unusually loud and in a voice that did not sound much like Jimmy: “Apo Pantos Kakodaimnonos!” Robert stared, as Jimmy went on, touching his forehead, his groin, his shoulders and so on, mumbling strange words quietly under his breath. Robert nearly jumped out of his skin as Jimmy roared, in the same strange voice: “Therion!” The sound echoed through the woods and into the darkening valley as if a thousand voices roared back.   
He continued with the movements and strange words, moving in each direction as Robert looked on, transfixed. He had never ever seen Jimmy perform any form of magick or rituals so far.

Finally, Jimmy stood still, extending his arms upwards and spoke, calm like a prayer:  
Pro mou inunges  
Opticho mou teletarchai  
Epi dexia chunoches  
Eparistera daimonos  
Pheg ei gar peri mou o aster ton pente  
Mai en tei stelei o aster ton ex estexe.* 

He let his arms and head sink and stood quietly for a few moments. He seemed to shake himself out of it, grinned at Robert and returned to his seat next to him. Robert looked at him, questioningly. The ritual seemed to have taken a lot of strengths off Jimmy, he looked pale and there was sweat glistening on his forehead.   
Wordlessly, he reached for Robert’s chin, brought him closer and kissed him deeply and long, sighing quietly into his mouth. Robert wrapped his arms around Jimmy and kissed back until the other chose to part. 

Robert didn’t dare to ask but Jimmy explained without being prompted: “What I did was perform the Star Ruby. It’s one of the most basic but also most important rituals of Thelema.” Robert looked puzzled but Jimmy didn’t offer any further explanation. 

Robert hesitated. “Can I ask…err…why you performed it?” He was too curious to not ask, but Jimmy simply said “no”. He added quickly, “don’t worry! Come, drive around the house now to the entrance in the north! I have arranged for a local B and B owner to light the fires earlier, make the bed and fill the kitchen with food!”  
The house looked even more unusual from the other side. It was arranged in the shape of a double “L” with two distinctive low wings and a large hall in the middle. The area in between was almost perfectly square, simply covered in fine gravel. Jimmy pushed a few small stones around then said to himself “river sand”. Robert bit his lip. He realised that he was due to learn a very new, important but so far well- hidden side to the man he loved. 

Jimmy couldn’t wait to get out of the car, shaking ever so slightly as he unlocked the wooden front door. They entered a hall, which led to a dining room, a lounge and drawing room to the left and a kitchen and library to the right. Two large bedrooms were in each of the wings. 

Robert could tell that it could be beautiful, with its arched walkways, large halls, colourfully painted walls and ornate wooden floors, but it was in desperate need of repair. It was full of old, dusty furniture, some of it broken, and it was barely inhabitable. The vibrant walls were flaking. There was black mould in some of the corners and it smelled musky and damp. Still, the large fireplace in the living room was lit and gave of a comfortable glow. 

Jimmy was like a young boy, mischievous but lovely, keenly exploring every nook and cranny. Robert left him to it, and instead wandered into the large, old-fashioned kitchen, which had the original stone counters and sink, old wooden shelves with pans, pots and crockery, but a newish, tacky electric hob and a rather unsightly old metal bin in the corner. The fridge, which was pushed next to the counter, was white and battered; still, Robert found beer, meats, milk and vegetables inside and some fresh bread on the counter and set forth to assemble some kind of cold luncheon dinner.

Later that night, they curled up in the master bedroom, which contained a large, old bedstead with heavily embroidered velvet curtains and a small ornate bedside table and lamp on it. The sheets were cold but made from freshly laundered linen. As soon as both got to bed, Jimmy went positively wild. His hands roamed greedily around Robert’s body, his lips pressed against Robert’s as if he was trying to devour him and he prepared Robert rather impatiently and fast.

It stung and hurt when Jimmy entered him as Robert was barely ready and Jimmy was ridiculously hard. Jimmy finished well before Robert, but his orgasm seemed to bring some of his sense back and he was very sweet and caring afterwards. He stroked Robert’s member lovingly, reacting well to each of Robert’s whims and hummed like a purring cat as he allowed Robert to build his excitement before Jimmy skilfully tipped him over the edge with a flick of his thumb over Robert’s sensitive tip. 

Robert awoke, feeling uneasy. Jimmy was laying with his back turned to him. Initially, Robert had spooned him as he often did but they had become separated during sleep. Even though it was summer, Robert felt unusually cold. He tiredly rubbed his eyes and switched the little light on to check the time. His watch told him that it was 3am, so he switched the light off again and turned back to Jimmy, carefully draping one arm around his stomach, breathing in his delicate scent as he nuzzled himself into the other’s black curls. Jimmy moved and sighed briefly in his sleep, moving closer to Robert’s warm body, but didn’t wake up. 

Robert was just about to drift off, when something caught his attention. He could hear a sudden gust of wind howl in the chimney, even though it had not been windy earlier that day. Then it was quiet again. There, the creaking of floorboards, only a few little noises but in his tired state, it scared Robert more than it should have.  
Another gust of wind in the chimney and then, unexpectedly, a scratching noise, and rustling just outside the bedroom window. After that it was entirely quiet again. Robert tried to regain his senses. Normal noises of an old house, especially one that had become rather dilapidated. They were on a mountainside in the north of Scotland, of course there were sudden gusts of wind. And they were surrounded by woods, wild animals would be scuttling around all night, probably attracted by the smell of food as the house had been empty for so long.

Robert tried to get back to sleep, but something was off. It was very faint at first but got increasingly stronger and alarming. Robert was wide awake now, all thoughts of sleep gone as he desperately shook his lover: “wake up Jimmy, wake up! Damn it, we’ve got to get out of here fast! I can smell burning!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ritual, The Star Ruby, is Crowley's extended version of previous magician's Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram. If you have the time and patience and are prepared to not be shocked as well as probably not understand anything, the source is Liber XXV, which can be found in Crowley's Liber ABA, Book 4: Magic in Theory and Practice - 1929 e.v. Liber XXV is a "class D" publication, which means permission to reproduce all or part of it was granted by the author and the A:.A.: to which he left his books - just in case someone is worried about copyright ;-)


	17. Where the spirits fly – Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy and Robert get to explore Boleskine House a little more. Robert is introduced to a little more magick, including Yoga, which he loves. Strange happenings occur late at night.

Jimmy groaned as Robert shook him, frantically. “Please, Jimmy, please wake up!” Robert shouted again and Jimmy sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes. “Whatsallthisabout” he mumbled, heavy with sleep. “Can’t you smell it?” Robert shouted, alarmed. Jimmy scratched his head and made a feeble attempt at sniffing the air. “Seems fine to me” he replied. He switched the bedside lamp on and blinked at Robert’s wide eyes. 

He took a deep breath, dragged himself out of bed and rubbed his eyes. “Fine, Robert, fine. If it helps…” Jimmy drudged to his luggage, dug around and pulled out a thin, long, stick like object. It was made from smooth, black ebony with a delicate silver handle and tip. Robert was astonished: “a wand?” Jimmy mumbled: “my love, you ask too many questions.” Jimmy assumed his stance again, feet apart, hands like a cross, eyes closed and took a few deep breaths. He drew something in front of him with the wand and made a simple upwards swoop with his left hand. He looked at Robert, defiantly as he let his hand sink again. “There. Better?” Robert shook his head in disbelief. This wasn’t his idea of how to deal with a possible fire. 

Jimmy sat next to him on the old creaky bed and put his arm around Robert’s shoulder. “Can you still smell it?” Robert sniffed the air, confused but there wasn’t the slightest whiff of smoke left. “Right.” Jimmy said, matter-of-factly. “Go back to sleep.” He pulled Robert down into the soft sheets and curled himself up against him, his breath evening out. Robert laid down, on arm draped around Jimmy’s shoulders, staring into the darkness. It was completely silent, and he found the quiet just as disturbing as the noises he had heard earlier. 

The next day was warm and sunny, with all the birds of the surrounding forests jubilantly greeting the morning. Robert was the first one to awake. In the light, the cracks in the walls and ceiling were even more defined and he could clearly see the mold in the outside corners. Still, the morning sun was so fresh and the bird- song so cheerful, that he didn’t dwell on it. He gazed down at Jimmy, sleeping peacefully next to him and felt so, so grateful. He just couldn’t get enough of his beautiful partner, the fine dark ringlets, the long black eyelashes, the swoop of his elegant eyebrows. He smiled as Jimmy moved and blinked at him, and before the other one could fully wake up, Robert bent down to kiss him, and kiss him again until the man below him moaned and pulled Robert into his arms.   
They made gentle, sleepy love and remained in each other’s arms until their heartbeats returned to normal. Jimmy was the first one to rise and Robert left him to it. He could hear the shower and Jimmy moving about for a while as he allowed himself to melt back into the soft, sweaty sheets. He heard the click of the bathroom door opening and then closing, but Jimmy didn’t return to the bedroom as Robert had expected. Instead, he heard the heavy thud of the front door closing. 

Robert jumped up. He couldn’t help but wonder what Jimmy was up to now. He quickly shrugged into a pair of black jeans, socks and trainers, not bothering with a top, and followed Jimmy outside. He found him on the square past the north-facing front door, in the middle of what Jimmy had called “river sand” last night. 

Robert gasped. Jimmy was entirely naked, his ivory skin in contrast to his dark hair on his head, around his chest, under his arms and his groin. He seemed completely oblivious to his surroundings. Below him laid a colourful patchwork quilt. He stretched his arms up and then dropped down, letting his head dangle next to his feet. He slid down until he laid on the quilt, lifted his head and arched his back. He continued, fluent, difficult movements, arching and bending until he stood upright and went through the same motions again. Robert stood, transfixed. He would never forget this image: Jimmy’s slender, alabaster body gleaming in the bright morning sun, his well-defined muscles and sinews moving smoothly and his long limbs flowing easily with his movement, so subtle and malleable. So strong at the same time. Robert asked himself later if he should have worried but somehow, Jimmy exuded such confidence that Robert was transfixed with wonder and awe.

After several repetitions, Jimmy looked over to where Robert stood, and squeed with joy: “Robert, sweetheart, come join me!” Robert scratched his head, confused: “I don’t understand. You didn't ask me to join yesterday nut today...?” Jimmy laughed, bright as a bell. “Oh, no, no, this here is quite alright! This is yoga and you might actually enjoy it. Taught by the great Indian Gurus. What I just did are the sun salutations! Come, I can teach you!”

“But why are you performing them naked?”

“Why not? One’s body is nothing to be ashamed of! No one here apart from a few wood animals anyway!”  
“But…” before Robert could argue, Jimmy pulled Robert’s trousers down and stood back to marvel at him: “oh, Robert” he sighed: “you gorgeous, gorgeous boy. I’m the fucking luckiest man alive.” For a moment, he looked as if he wanted to jump Robert there and then. He wavered, bit his lip and rearranged his features. When he spoke again, it sounded like his usual ‘work-mode’ tone.

Robert had to admit that he did indeed like yoga, especially out here in the morning sun. It felt empowering, freeing and refreshing. After they performed several sun salutations, Jimmy smiled at Robert and slowly walked up to him. Robert felt a jolt of excitement as he noticed that Jimmy was getting hard again.

They spent the day exploring the woods and land around Boleskine house. It was peaceful, wild and gorgeous. Jimmy was delighted to find out just how much land he had managed to acquire alongside the house. There were several outbuildings, sheds still full of rusty tools and spider webs, a dilapidated keeper’s cottage, empty stables with mouldy straw and fields with broken fences, slowly being reclaimed by weeds and woodland. Robert couldn’t help but smile as Jimmy pranced around, unusually carefree and happy, declaring himself the new “laird of Boleskine.” It felt so good to see Jimmy like this, something Robert had rarely seen so far. It was enough for him to push any doubts and niggling unease about the house to the very back of his mind. 

In the evening, they sat together in the kitchen on the large, bare oakwood table eating a simple meal of chips, cooked a bit too crisp by Robert. Jimmy still seemed full of beans, talking about his plans for the house, but Robert felt a distinctive darkness raise up again. The evening sun sent scarlet slanted light through the high window and shadows gathered in the corners. Robert involuntarily shuddered. Jimmy looked up and asked: “hey, you ok? Somebody just walked over your grave or what?” He gave a cute little laugh and Robert quickly shook himself out of it: “No, I’m fine, really. Just, err, a bit cold, I think?” 

“Hm”, Jimmy replied, “I must admit the walls are a bit damp. Very thick, you see. Good in winter but they also retain the cold in summer.” Robert shrugged, trying to think of something cheerful to say, but his eyes lingered on the white, cracked tiles above the grimy sink. Some had fallen off already. There was an outline of an old damp spot just above the table. Jimmy followed Robert’s gaze and he said: “love, I’m sorry, I’m quite aware that this house is in a bit of a sorry state. But you know? Our new album will be released in October. We’ll be touring the States again soon. Do you know that G has put our minimum fee up to $25.000? Per concert? We might well gross $100.000 on some nights. I tell you now, I’ll have all the funds to bring this house up to its former glory. It’ll be amazing!” The sunny, eye-crinkling smile Jimmy gave Robert forced him to smile back. “We have got one hell of a band, baby! I’m sure you are right!” 

The sun sank lower, its glow intensifying on the flaking walls. Jimmy stood up, with a serene smile, turned west, right into the last rays which accentuated his fine features and let his hair glow. He stood, feet together, and held his arms up as if holding a bowl or basket. He recited: 

“Hail unto Thee who art Tum in Thy setting,  
even unto Thee who art Tum in Thy joy,   
who travellest over the Heavens in Thy bark at the Down-going of the Sun.  
Tahuti standeth in His splendour at the prow, and Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm.  
Hail unto Thee from the abodes of day.”

Robert got up and joined Jimmy, who stood now, his arms lowered, gazing out of the window, his right index finger pressed to his lips. Robert gently laid his hands on Jimmy’s slender hips and carefully nuzzled his soft curls. Outside, the very last tip of the sun disappeared behind the black trees, sending a red flame upwards. “That was beautiful” Robert said quietly. Jimmy turned slowly and cupped Robert’s face in his hands. He smiled, hummed and said: “I love you, Robert. Love is the law.” Robert remembered. He answered: “I love you too, Jimmy. Love under will.” Jimmy gazed at him for a moment, then he let himself fall forwards, right into Robert’s arms. Robert held Jimmy gently and Jimmy held Robert as tight as he could. He buried his face in the crook of Robert’s neck and made a little noise that sounded like a sob. He whispered, almost chocked up: “You perfect, perfect man. My Robert. My angel.”   
*  
Robert sat, bolt upright, his heart hammering madly. As he stared into the darkness, he saw wheels of fiery rings swirling around and he felt as if he had only just escaped with his life. Huge, towering flames, all-consuming and fierce, licking high up into the night. People screamed in terror. A cockerel flew up, his long tail feathers ablaze. A single shot. Flames cracking, whooshing. A black tower within those flames, the sound of something bursting and the tower fell back into the inferno. Strong arms around Robert’s shoulders and a lovely, sweet voice: “Shhh, my love, shh. It was just a nightmare. Don’t be scared, I’m right here.” Robert allowed himself to melt into Jimmy’s embrace and pull him back down. It was so dark that he could not distinguish anything, as if he was still blinded from his nightmare. He felt Jimmy’s slender, cool palm on his forehead, and he was certain that Jimmy was whispering something in a strange tongue. It was calming and sweet and Robert drifted back to sleep without difficulty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, the prayer is from Crowley's Liber Resh vel Helios, which includes four short prayers for sunrise, noon, sunset and midnight. They are a beautiful ritual when performed daily and are intended to help the aspirant to connect and identify with the force of the sun over its course. It also helps to break up the day and feels "grounding". I have no definite source that Jimmy performed them but its basically "Thelema 101", and Crowley recommended it highly, so I would be very surprised if Jimmy didn't perform them.   
> The magick performed at the beginning is to banish the element of fire. And yes, we use wands :-)   
> Any other questions, please ask...hope you enjoyed it


	18. Where the spirits fly – Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A change of weather. Robert and Jimmy play tourist for a day.

The next day, the weather had changed. It was a grey, drizzly morning and the house felt colder and more damp than ever. Even though it was July, Robert dug out the only warm sweater he had brought along, and even Jimmy looked a little glum. “No outdoors birthday suit Yoga today?” Robert teased him. Jimmy pulled a funny face and ignored Robert. He turned to the high kitchen window, stretched his arms out, palms upwards and started: “Hail unto Thee who art Ra in Thy rising, even unto Thee who art Ra in Thy strength…”

Robert took a sip of his tea, but accidentally slurped it as it scalded his mouth. Jimmy almost lost his composure and barely suppressed a giggle. He cleared his throat and shouted: “Hail unto Thee from the Abodes of Night!” He turned to Robert, fiercely but as soon as he saw Robert’s bedraggled face, his expression softened. “I’m, I’m sorry…” Robert muttered, suppressing his grin. Jimmy shrugged, laughed and said: “it’s alright. Laughter is good. Come, do the sun salutations with me. I’d even let you do them indoors and, as much as I regret it, fully clothed.”

It continued to be grey and drizzly and Robert suggested that they’d play tourist for a day, explore Uquard Castle and drive into Inverness. Jimmy liked the idea immediately and as they rumbled down the hill in the clattering Land Rover, Robert felt lighter and freer than he had in the confines of Boleskine House. 

And Jimmy, Jimmy was just so utterly delightful. He was the happiest Robert ever saw him and Jimmy would later say that this was one of his happiest times ever. Uquard Castle, right on the shores of Loch Ness was quiet on this day, even though it was summer, as tourists stayed in the towns and cities to wait for better weather. Robert was unstoppable, he strutted around and soon stormed the highest tower. When Jimmy joined him, out of breath after climbing the steep spiral staircase, Robert said, in a loud voice: “Behold! You might be the Laird of Boleskine house, but I am the king of Uquard Castle!” And he did indeed look like it, with his brown leather jacket over an open blouse, displaying most of his strong chest, his long golden hair flying in the wind and his noble face focused and determined. When he noticed that Jimmy just stood and stared, Robert turned to him and taunted him: “What hast thou have to say for thyself, laird?” 

“The laird of Boleskine will put a spell on thee that the king of Uquard Castle won’t forget in a hundred years!” Jimmy replied, smirking. Robert walked right up to Jimmy and as no one was around, pulled him closer by his hips. He said, quiet and low:

“Thou hast bewitched me from the day I first laid eyes on you.” 

Robert quickly kissed Jimmy on the lips and heard him sigh. Both instantly grew hard against each other. Jimmy mumbled: “The laird of Boleskine is going to conquer the king of Uquard right here on top of this tower if he isn’t a bit more careful.” 

“Oh really?” Robert laughed, escaped their embrace and hopped down the steep stony staircase fast and nimble, with Jimmy in hot pursuit. Robert found a stick under an old tree and held it up like a sword: “laird, I want to see you try!” Jimmy found another stick and they fought each other like young boys in the woods, laughter echoing around the old castle walls and out across the dark loch.

They instantly liked Inverness. It was small compared to other cities, old and quirky. First, they walked along the wide river Ness, below a canopy of broad-leaved trees, watching the ducks and the ships go by. They turned into the cobbled city streets, following the tall, old town houses and chatted happily. 

They walked close to each other, shoulders and hips touching occasionally. Jimmy’s hand brushed against Robert’s and he couldn’t help himself as he linked his little finger with Jimmy’s. He saw Jimmy blush and smile as they continued to walk on. 

Suddenly, a firm hand landed on Robert’s shoulder: “eh, erm.” A male voice said behind them and they turned around to find a policeman behind them. He said: “sorry, are you guys English?” They nodded, surprised that he’d knew straight away. 

“Gentlemen, just a little word of warning. You wouldn’t want to get yourselves into trouble now, would you?” With that, he walked on and Robert looked confused. It took Jimmy a moment to realize it. When he did, he shook his head and said: “damn it. This is Scotland. Gay relationships are still illegal here. Oh fuck.” Robert looked angry: “what? No, that’s not fair! We don’t harm anyone!” Jimmy sighed: “no, I know love. Come on, don’t let it spoil a nice day, alright? We’ll be able to do as we please as soon as we’re back at Boleskine.” Robert looked sulky but finally agreed. He spotted a little restaurant and when they sat down to have lunch, they sat opposite each other, rather demurely. Still, Robert couldn’t help secretly playing footsie with Jimmy under the table.

The drizzle got stronger as they left the restaurant, but Jimmy spotted a bookstore and their mood improved considerably. They spent the rest of the afternoon in a café, hot drinks in front of them, each with a brand- new, large book. Both loved reading. Jimmy was enthralled by a book about old Greece and its mythology, whilst Robert had found a collection of historic ghost stories. 

Occasionally, he glanced over to Jimmy and sometimes, he found it hard to return to his book. He could look at Jimmy all day, just look at him. Marvel at every little detail. So perfect, so beautiful. Mine. And here with me, alone, just the two of us. Unbelievable. Until Jimmy caught him looking, smirked, winked and buried his little nose in his book again. Robert wanted to take him in his arms, pull him close, tell him how much he loved him, but he knew he couldn’t. He had an idea. He pulled out his little notebook and ripped out one of the pages. He found a pen in his breast pocket and scribbled a note, like he and his friends used to do as children, in class, when they had to be quiet but got bored. He folded the note carefully and slipped it over to Jimmy. Jimmy looked up, found the note, read it, blushed and grinned. 

He found a pen too and wrote back. Robert unfolded it, impatiently. It said: “I love you too, you hippy. You’re gonna get it later.” Robert felt a rush of excitement and quickly wrote back. 

Jimmy played it cool this time, determined to finish reading the page he was on. When he finally got the note, Robert read it fast and his pulse quickened. It said: “Don’t pretend to be so innocent. I think we should play a bit tonight.” Robert answered straight away and again, Jimmy kept him waiting until Robert wriggled around, unable to focus on his book any longer. When the note finally arrived, it said: “be a good boy now and read your book. You will soon find out.”  
After that, Jimmy did not reply anymore but Robert felt so hot and bothered, he almost left for the bathroom to somehow calm himself down. Instead, he got his notebook out again and wrote the lyrics to what would later become Misty Mountain Hop.


	19. Where the spirits fly – Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys' day in Inverness ends but their drive back to Boleskine House doesn't quite go as planned.  
> I'm really sorry its been so long... I hope all my readers are safe and well and this will entertain you a little in lock down. Unfortunately I was quite ill with all the symptoms of the dreaded virus that has the world in its strange grip. But I'm back and I'm well. I'm a survivor! And ready to finally give you new stories...

They decided to have dinner in a small, dark pub but neither seemed particularly hungry. A group of youths with long hair and leather jackets kept eyeing them up until they sent one of their girls, a pretty thing with platinum hair and very long black eyelashes, straight to Robert. Suddenly, it was as if they were back on tour. Without so much than a “hi”, she planted herself on Robert’s lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, as if they had known each other for ages. Jimmy felt the bile rise up in his stomach – they had recognised them! Robert turned his charm on for a little but as he saw Jimmy’s pale, sad face, he instantly changed, reminding himself that they weren’t on tour; they weren’t working. They were on their own private holiday. This was their time. They had to share themselves enough.

Robert gave the girl a crooked, sweet grin, before he slowly stood up, letting her glide of his lap. He looked up to the boys who watched, confused. “Here,” he said, pushing the girl back to them gently, “thanks for this!” With that he turned away, still smiling, towards Jimmy, who looked spooked and had gradually edged towards the front door. The tallest of the boys suddenly seemed to regain his composure and quickly grabbed a beer mat and pen. “Please! Mr Plant! An autograph, at least?” This time, it was the lad who received Robert’s dazzling smile, but he answered: “I’m sorry lad. I have no idea what or who you are talking about”. With that, he reached Jimmy at the door. Robert placed his arm around Jimmy’s shoulder, and when he smiled at him, Jimmy’s stormy green eyes smiled back. Robert turned back once more but found that he had been dazzling enough and the youths were still stunned. He gave them a quick wave with the other arm and as he pushed the door open, they could just make out how one of the group, who seemed to have finally found his voice again, called after them: “Wait! Jimmy Page?!” They left the pub quickly after that, laughing at last. Few people recognised Jimmy these days since he had cut his hair and grown his beard.

As they drove back from Inverness towards Foyers on the small, winding road, dusk settled slowly above them and the loch laid in front of them, silvery, and unusually still. Jimmy watched Robert from his side seat; he could still see his distinctive features so well. He smiled down to Robert’s chin, where he was growing his facial hair too now. Robert just had to copy him! But Jimmy loved it. It was all they could do to show their deep love and connection publicly. Little, hidden signs and clues, yet obvious for those who understood.

Jimmy’s eyes arrested at the elegant curve of Robert’s lips and Robert noticed. He quickly glanced at Jimmy and there was an unmistakable glint in his eye. He smiled cheekily as he focussed on the road again. But his hand left the gear stick and instead landed firmly on Jimmy’s slender thigh. Jimmy sighed and his muscles clenched instantly. They had been building up to this all day. They had to be so careful and restrained. And Jimmy had wanted Robert every minute of this day! 

There was no need to be restrained anymore. They were alone and it was getting dark. Jimmy groaned and laid his hand on top of Robert’s; Robert stopped for a moment, not sure if Jimmy was trying to stop him caressing Jimmy’s thigh. But instead, Jimmy moved Robert’s hand further up, just below his crotch, where he was sensitive and…so close to his cock. Robert started to struggle. With one hand he caressed Jimmy’s inner upper thigh, with the other he held on to the stirring wheel… really, he should change gears, but he couldn’t leave Jimmy like this. In the gloom, his eyes scanned for somewhere to turn off into and just have Jimmy. There was no way he could continue like this all the way to Foyers let alone up that treacherous little lane to Boleskine House.

There! The perfect little lane! No sign saying “private” or “no trespassing” or the name of a house or farm! As Robert turned the wheel, the car spluttered and nearly died as Robert still hadn’t changed gear. In the last minute, Robert took his hand off Jimmy’s tight for a moment and Jimmy instantly protested. “Wait what? Robert! I was enjoying this! Where…where are we going? This isn’t Foyers yet is it?” Robert grinned. “I’m kidnapping you, gorgeous. I want to make you feel supremely wonderful! Now stop asking!” Robert felt two slender long arms around his shoulder and a soft, beardy kiss somewhere between his cheek and his left ear, along with a hot, needy mewl.

Robert was past looking for the perfect spot. With Jimmy practically hanging onto him, he pulled into the next field entrance and killed the engine. He grabbed the lever to Jimmy’s seat and move him as far back as possible. Nimble and shaking with desire himself now, he clambered into Jimmy’s foot well, and Jimmy knew. He arched and wriggled in anticipation, his breath hitched and shook as he undid his thick leather belt with fumbling, impatient fingers. Robert was between his legs, keenly helping to peel Jimmy out of his jeans. There was just enough late evening light left to see his splendour spring up from where he had been forced into restraint by his tight jeans. 

Jimmy threw himself around in ecstasy as he felt first Robert’s skilled fingers enclosing his cock, before his beautiful, wet mouth followed. Robert marvelled at Jimmy’s heat, the combination of tender skin and rock-hard arousal, like silk and steel. 

He licked the tip, just as Jimmy got wet with precum. This was all Robert needed – he steadied the base of Jimmy’s cock with one hand and enclosed his balls gently with the other. Then he swallowed Jimmy down, slowly, inch by every delicious inch. Above him he felt Jimmy clench and struggle, clasping at the seat, the dashboard and finally Robert’s hair. He could feel that Jimmy was bending forward now, it was a little harder to reach him, but he knew it was because Jimmy needed to be closer to Robert. Jimmy arched himself inwards to allow Robert to continue to blow him but at the same time hold his head and move him to go faster. For a while, there were no other noises apart from the increased sounds of Robert sucking and Jimmy groaning. Robert gave himself up for Jimmy to move his head just as he needed, and Jimmy gratefully took over. 

He was rather surprised then, when Jimmy gave a mighty groan and pulled out, rock hard and glistening. Jimmy bent down even more now, and Robert asked quickly, wiping his mouth: “baby, you know you can finish in my mouth? You don’t have to…” He didn’t get to finish his sentence as Jimmy kissed him heatedly, his fingers brushing over Robert’s crotch. He smiled into the kiss when he noticed how wet and stained Robert’s jeans were above his cock. Jimmy’s fingers made swift work of Robert’s fly and he soon found himself freed of the constraints of his trousers. Luckily, Land rovers are spacious cars and both lads were slender and malleable. Jimmy whispered into Robert’s hair: “I held back because I want to fuck you. And I want to come inside your beautiful body my love.” Robert almost came there and then, but they somehow managed to swap places, Robert facing the seat backwards and Jimmy crouching in the foot well.

He prepared Robert using his own spit. He found him so ready and so, so keen. Both felt pure ecstasy as Jimmy entered Robert, gentle but persistent and smooth. Jimmy was breathless at being filled so deliciously. Robert was overwhelmed at the sheer excitement of the other’s heat and tightness. Both simultaneously thought that this was better than anything. Jimmy started to move, his hands below Jimmy’s crotch, rubbing his dick additionally to the friction the seat and Robert’s body provided. They felt completely at one, moving and sighing like one unit and when they both came, Jimmy close to tears with the intensity and Robert burning with the liquid fire inside him, they felt themselves lose all reality and temporarily dissolve into the great nothingness. But always safe, secure with each other and grinning like happy idiots. As the ecstasy slowly receded and love, warmth and safety remained.

Robert carefully helped Jimmy back onto the seat. Moved the seat forward. Pulled both their trousers up again. He placed a woollen tartan blanket, which he found on the backseat over Jimmy’s slack form and smiled when he found Jimmy was already fast asleep. Robert quickly kissed the other’s sweaty but cooling forehead. He carefully turned the car around on the small lane and drove the rest of the way. He was tempted to think ‘back home to Boleskine house’. But he knew, their hidden bliss in the old, magic mansion could not last forever.


	20. Where the spirits fly – Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy discovers a secret door - but will it reveal anything he is hoping for?

Robert awoke when a ray of brilliant morning sunshine caressed his face. He rubbed his eyes and was not surprised to find the bed next to him empty again. He smiled and wondered what Jimmy was up to this time. 

He stretched himself lazily and the edges of last night’s dream returned to him, even if he couldn’t quite grasp it. Something was cold and dark and menacing. But it was obliterated by a light more brilliant than he had ever seen in his life. He was awed and surprised. He felt warmth course through his veins and then he was the light himself. The feeling the dream had left him with was utter deep love. 

‘Jimmy’ he whispered quietly, his fingers gliding over the smooth expanse of empty sheets next to him. ‘Jimmy’. He smiled broadly this time and decided to get up.  
He entered the large, grim kitchen. By now, he had got used to the battered fridge, the rusty cooker, and the missing tiles. He was expecting remnants of breakfast, heck, maybe, if he was lucky, even a bit of left-over, luke-warm coffee, but no, he was wrong. He switched the cooker on, filled the kettle and listened whilst he was waiting for the water to boil. There! He could hear a noise! Creaking footsteps…over his head? He had always assumed that the house, low as it crouched on the hill, only had one useable floor, although he remembered seeing some small windows in the roof. He had never given them any thought. 

The footsteps grew fainter and there was silence for a moment until the steps returned. This time, however, unmistakable the light, quick steps that he knew were Jimmy’s. Just as the kettle began to whistle, Jimmy flew through the kitchen door, smiling and flushed, and landed squarely in Robert’s arms. He was excited like a young boy: “Robert! Robert! I found access to the attic! It’s full of stuff! We need to go and explore!” Robert laughed and held Jimmy at arm’s length. Yes, he had noticed a slightly musty smell on Jimmy, and he carefully peeled a dusty cobweb from the other man’s shiny black curls. He quickly leaned forward to kiss Jimmy on his soft lips and smiled. “That’s brilliant! I’ll explore with you! After breakfast though!”

Robert was surprised to find out that Boleskine House did indeed have an attic, one that was, at some point, clearly used as living quarters. The space below the roof had been divided into a number of small chambers, maybe servant quarters, back in the time when the house was inhabited by Highland clansmen. But it was also obvious that no one had been up here in a very long time. There were no stairs – Jimmy had discovered a hatch in the roof and used a ladder to get in. The first thing Robert noticed was the stifling heat that had gathered under the roof. Everything was covered in thick, grey piles of dust and huge spiderwebs hung from the ceiling, and in every corner. It was disheartening to see that the roof had more damage than they had assumed so far: large, discoloured patches stained the sloped ceiling and mould gathered in the corners, far worse than they had observed below. In some places, the plaster had fallen down altogether, leaving the timbers exposed like ribs off a long-dead skeleton. The small window in the gable was cracked and allowed the breeze to blow in. The stain on the bare floorboards below showed years of snow and rain entering too.

Robert instinctively put his t-shirt above his nose, but Jimmy hardly seemed to notice the dry, dusty smell. Keenly, he opened the first door, a roughly made, creaky wooden construction which would have been more suitable to a barn than a mansion. Inside, they found a jumble of rubbish: broken 1920ies furniture, stuffing spilling out of the old chintz sofas, some loosely covered in sheets; a pile of books, which initially excited Jimmy, but turned out to be cheap romance novels from the 50ies. Empty cardboard boxes and a plastic bag full of old, moth eaten jumpers lay around. Jimmy shrugged and moved on to the next room.

It looked pretty much the same, and the discoveries were rather unexciting too. In fact, they were rather less pleasant, as they contained an old bed, together with its smelly mattress, blankets, and damp, rotting pillows. When Jimmy bravely moved the sheets back, they found the source of the stench: mice had made a nest here, full of droppings and complete with several well decomposed mice carcasses. Robert averted his eyes and quickly retreated. 

They continued from room to room, each smelling and full of rubbish. By noon, the most exciting discovery they had made was a copy of Elvis’ 1957 Christmas album, which Robert insisted to play, to Jimmy’s dismay, whilst they took their lunch break. 

Robert just wanted to go and wash they dust and smell off and enjoy the afternoon outside, but Jimmy insisted that they'd return to the attic. Robert hesitated but Jimmy gave him one of those sweet, seductive looks, his lips half open, black curls in his eyes, which Robert couldn’t resist. “ Fine” he mumbled, “whatever you say…just as well that I love you so bloody much!” Jimmy grinned and danced off towards the ladder and hatch, and Robert had no choice but to follow him. 

As the sun slanted through the tiny, dirt-mottled windows, Robert finally sighed. They still hadn’t found anything of interest. Even Jimmy seemed a little dismayed, as he rattled against a door, which was warped by time and damp and didn’t yield at all. He kicked it and cursed as he stumped his toe. Robert put his hand on Jimmy’s slender shoulder to stop him. “Hey, baby, come on. Let’s wash that dust off and enjoy the evening.” Jimmy exhaled and gave in for a moment, turning to Robert and let his forehead sink onto his partner’s strong shoulder. Robert held him; he could feel Jimmy’s disappointment. But Jimmy composed himself, let go of Robert and said: “I’ll just try a bit more with this door here. It’s ok if you want to go, I understand. I won’t be long.” 

Robert let his arms sink, setting Jimmy free. He mumbled “ok” and carefully climbed down the rickety ladder. He wandered through the heavy front door, out into the square of river sand, ambling along the house aimlessly, when he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. There were stairs, overgrown and crumbling, leading down to a small door, covered in moss and lichen. He was about to dismiss it, thinking a little glum of all the hours spent in the stuffy attic full of rubbish, when he remembered something Jimmy had told him on their long drive north. A secret underground passage! Yes, Jimmy had mentioned that there were rumours about Boleskine House having a secret passage and that this is how the Highland clansmen managed to hide. He couldn’t help himself. Robert was always curious. At least it would be cool down there, which might be nice after the stuffy heat in the attic. 

He carefully walked down the narrow steps. Grabbed the doorknob and tried to twist it. He didn’t really expect it to move and was surprised when it turned easily. The smell of a damp, ancient dungeon hit him squarely in the nostrils, and a cold draft brushed his face. It was pitch black. Robert carefully stepped forwards. The ground felt soft, as if he was dreading on layers upon layers of durst and crumbled stone. He fished his lighter out of his pocket and switched it on. It took him a moment to adjust. Then he gasped.

As he emerged again, he blinked into the brilliant evening light. Before Robert could compose himself, Jimmy ran up to him, a wide grin on his face. Jumping into Robert’s arms, he exclaimed: “Robert! You won’t believe what I’ve found!” Robert hugged Jimmy tightly, smiling: “and you won’t believe me neither!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so very grateful to the Boleskine House Foundation...these guys are the current owners of the house's ruins and the job they are doing to rebuilt it is incredible. They share stories about their progress and the house's history every evening on Facebook. They are planning to turn the house as an open public place, a spiritual meeting point and of course a place for music lovers. Kyra and Keith Readdy are awesome, and grateful for every kind of support, even if it is just a "like" on their page. They are also planning to welcome any volunteers once the world re-opens and of course appreciate donations. They are happy to answer any questions you might have about the house and do so frequently and quick. Please visit their page: https://www.facebook.com/boleskine.house.foundation/


	21. Where the spirits fly – Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy and Robert are delighted to share their finds with each other, and it leads to a rather enjoyable evening. But they don't know yet that they are in for news neither of them was expecting.

Robert released Jimmy and they stood opposite each other, holding hands, smiling: “you first” Robert said after a moment. Jimmy grinned, tempted to whisk Robert off to show him what he’d found, but thought better of it: “no, you first…I’ve a feeling we are closer to your treasure”.

Robert didn’t argue; he let go of Jimmy’s right hand and led him by his left into the cellar. Both switched on their lighters, and this time, Jimmy gasped: in the din, below the arched stone ceiling, were rows upon rows of wine racks, complete with what must have been hundreds of bottles, glinting in the darkness. Jimmy slowly walked up to the nearest rack, carefully took one of the dust -covered bottles and held his light closer: “Chateaux Margeaux, vin 1900” he read out, before he had to switch his lighter off. “Robert! Wine from actual 1900! Goodness!” Robert walked two rows further down, picking up another bottle at random, wiping cobwebs off the label before he muttered: “Verve Clicquot… it doesn’t tell me anything…but damn, it sure is old!” 

They kept taking turns with their lighters, and walked along the shelves, which seemed to go on forever, taking random bottles and reading the labels, baffled. Jimmy remarked: “I believe that they must have been stored here by Crowley himself…you see, wine is quite important in many Thelemic rituals…and he was rather fond of a boozy night full of passion!” Robert giggled and poked Jimmy’s cute nose: “a bit like you and me, then!” They laughed as they made their way back out, not before taking two of the oldest looking bottles with them.

Now it was Jimmy’s turn. Robert expected him to take him up to the stuffy attic again, but instead, he led him into the living room. On the large oak table, Robert discovered a curious collection of old looking things that made little sense to him, but clearly excited Jimmy. 

“Here!” Jimmy said, eyes glinting, as he lifted up an old dagger: “I’ve read about this one in Crowley’s biography! Look at the detail on it!” Robert squinted at the rusty blade, before he burst out laughing. It was decorated with unmistakable symbols of several fully erect phalluses, something that looked like a stylized sperm with a star at the tip and two round shapes with another one in the middle, which clearly depicted male genitals. “Hey, don’t laugh at the solar power of the phallic symbols!” Jimmy said, consternation in his voice. He lifted up a curious 7-pointed star, made out of metal, explaining: “the star of Babalon!” And when Robert looked confused, he added “it’s the star of love!” Quickly pecking Robert on his cheek.

He picked up a pile of papers, yellowed by time and torn on one side but the black ink looked as fresh as if it was written yesterday. It was filled with wild scribbles. “These”, Jimmy said, and paused dramatically, “are pages from Crowley’s diary. The ones he tore out…I admit it’s hard to read but…yeah…what he did was illegal at the time, see?” Robert frowned. “Can you read it?” Jimmy smiled. “Of course! I’m familiar with Crowley’s handwriting…here, let me give you an example…’ he was beautiful, a young Scot, proud as any Highlander, but small and slender, almost like a boy. AC knew he wanted him when he first saw him down in Foyers. AC, in his wisdom, bought him a few whiskey’s; it hardly fails with Scotsmen. Its like a magic talisman, charged and full of seductive power. AC told him that AC owned Boleskine House and he didn’t believe AC, so AC told him he'd show him. AC called a pony trap and he willingly followed’* …he goes on to describe how he awed the young man with his house and his magic and his wine, then he writes…’he was soft as a girl when AC seduced him, and he was more gorgeous than any of them, his skin freckled, pale and so tender…he was keen, so keen, and wanted AC to evoke his powers over him…’ and it goes on to describe their wild act in quite a lot of detail…” Robert observed Jimmy and saw the raising excitement in him, his cheeks flushed rosy red. And he imagined that the coming night held some rather lovely promises.

Robert wasn’t wrong. After they showered to wash off the dust and cobwebs, they took the two bottles of precious old wine and the lewd diary pages to their luxurious bed, with is brocade canopy and white linen sheets. They laid together, drank straight out of the bottle and Jimmy read out passages he found particularly hot: “his sandy, soft hair reminded AC of pink roses in the morning” “he was so tight, AC struggled to insert his wand, but it was worth it…such utter bliss!” “Stop it now!” Robert interrupted, gently taking the pages off Jimmy and cupping his face. For a moment, they looked at each other with love, before Robert just couldn’t anymore. He claimed Jimmy’s luscious lips in a wide, open-mouthed kiss, breathless and urgent. Jimmy sank down below him in surrender. Robert reached between Jimmy’s legs and prepared him expertly, driving him crazy as he dipped in and teased him until he finally took him, passionately and wild. 

“Robert! Robert, Robert, Robert!” Jimmy gasped, fully exposing his long, slender neck to the other man’s kisses, sweat pooling in his clavicle before Robert’s strong, nimble tongue licked it away. Jimmy arched himself up into Robert’s trusts, swaying with him until nothing else mattered anymore, just bliss and heat and darkness. They wanted to stay there forever, together, in the land of pure ecstasy but their bodies finally overwhelmed them and they came together, Robert shaking and moaning deep in his throat, Jimmy sighing and clutching at Robert with all his might. 

The next morning was glorious. Even though they had no outside furniture, they spontaneously packed a tartan blanket and their breakfast and sat outside on the large, sunny meadow, enjoying the magnificent view of Loch Ness and the norther hills behind it. Jimmy let his head sink onto Robert’s shoulder and took his hand. Robert suddenly sensed sadness as Jimmy whispered: “O Robert. I want to stay here. I don’t want to leave this magical place.” Robert turned to kiss Jimmy’s forehead. “My baby, don’t fret. You’ll enjoy the music, the fans, the company of band and crew! Led Zeppelin 3 will be released soon! Imagine the excitement! And we can always come back here!” 

Jimmy didn’t brighten up. He said, quite sadly: “Probably I’m just being morose. I know G and all our crew and the band have promised to protect and support us. But I just… I can’t help it…” Robert felt a sudden wave of worry raise up in him. This was more than just a little moment of sadness. He turned further and wrapped Jimmy in his arms. Jimmy held on so tight with his skinny arms that it hurt. Jimmy said, his voice now choked: “I don’t ever want to let go of you, my love, Robert!” Robert kissed Jimmy’s curls, stroking his back and murmured gently: “we’ll be together, on tour and after. I can’t imagine any force in heaven or on earth that could ever tear me away from you.” But his words seemed to have no effect. Jimmy was sobbing by now. When he spoke again, he sounded barely like himself: “Robert…bad things will happen. I know it.” 

The noise of a rattly old Land Rover made them part, and Jimmy quickly wiped his eyes. Sure enough, the car stopped at Boleskine House, and a postman in full uniform walked up to where the couple sat in the grass. “Good morning gents, I have a message for you”. With a wave of his arm, he left again.  
Robert looked at Jimmy and opened the envelope. It was a telegram. “American tour starts next week. Stop. We’ll be flying from Heathrow in three days. Stop. You will be collected at 5pm today.”

Robert started at Jimmy, but Jimmy’s eyes were fixed somewhere over the Loch and far away. He was paler than the bleached mouse bones they had found in the house’s attic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * The part about the diary and the dagger are made up. I tried my best to make it look and sound just like Crowley. I used 'AC' in the diary as Crowley usually referred to himself in the third person.  
> Also, yes my lovely readers, they will have to leave Boleskine soon, but new adventures await, as we all know....


	22. When I look to the West – part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Led Zeppelin are finally on tour again! And Jimmy is scheming...

Jimmy didn’t have to worry. Led Zeppelin’s 6th American tour was an overwhelming success. 

It was a strange time in the music business: after the storm of the British invasion during the 60ies, it had suddenly become eerily quiet on the island: the huge Beatles were finished. Cream had dissolved. The Kinks seemed to have temporarily run out of ideas. And the Rolling Stones needed a break.

Their only other contenders were The Who, and they were once again touring with their Rock opera Tommy. Only Led Zeppelin really brought new music to the table and their fans were positively unhinged, desperate for new music. 

Robert and Jimmy appeared invigorated, in love and unstoppable. Bonzo and Jonesy soon got into the spirit too. After the long break with their families, they were rearing to be on stage again. And it helped that their management and crew kept their word: they sheltered the band vigorously; no outsider was ever allowed into the hallowed Zeppelin circle. Of course, for Jimmy and Robert, anything else would have been an instant deal breaker, and their entourage knew this well enough. But it did help the other band members too. They felt safer and at the same time, less restricted, away from the risk of the public eye. 

Some selected friends and groupies were invited in, and, looking back, Robert would later remark that the thing he remembered most, was the laughter. 

Their set list changed as the band was brimming with confidence, and Robert even managed to persuade Jimmy to include Bron Yr Aur. Jimmy remembered how nervous he was. This was not what he thought fans would expect from the band…yes, he had played Black Mountain Side/White Summer before, on his own, but he could go wild with it. Bron Yr Aur demanded a quiet audience and an acoustic guitar. Jimmy remembered well how the lights went down after the already quiet, acoustic “That’s the Way”: he’d sat there with Robert in the middle and Jonesy on the other side, but now, these two moved to the back of the stage, their roadies removing all but Jimmy’s chair. 

In the darkness, Jimmy felt a gentle, steadying hand on his shoulder and a mop of curly hair in his face as Robert leaned over him. Jimmy suddenly felt far away from the stage. He took a deep breath and thought ‘my Robert’. He was filled with delicious memories of their first time alone, up in Bron Yr Aur cottage. Figuring everything out. Love will find a way, and now it seemed that it had.

“Sweet baby, dearest, you will be wonderful” Robert mumbled into Jimmy’s ear, and he quickly added: “I’m right there, behind the drums. And I’ll be watching you like a very proud father.” Jimmy couldn’t help but laugh. He leaned his head into Robert’s curls and replied: “you romantic sod! That’s a weird thing to say to your lover!” Robert kissed him quickly, right on his lips and then he was gone. Jimmy was bathed in a ray of pure white light and he played so sweet and gentle that the audience was captivated in silent rapture. A pin could have dropped in Yale Bowl, and everyone would have heard it.

Jimmy only realised the silence when it changed into roaring, thundering applause as his last gentle note faded away.

On September the 4th, the band played two shows in Los Angeles, and to their delight, were told that another British band was present.”Awh, that must be The Who! I can’t wait to go on a rampage with Keith Moon!” Bonzo quipped up. Robert smiled happily: “I’d love to have a drink or two with Roger Daltrey, funny, lovely little fellow!” Jonesy grinned: “well, I’d enjoy a good bass discussion with that eccentric John Entwistle.” Jimmy kept quiet. Ever since he had been called in to play guitar on The Who’s first ever single, “I can’t explain”, Pete Townshend didn’t like him, and Jimmy preferred to stay out of his way. The man smashed his guitars, after all! Sacrilege!

As it turned out, it wasn’t The Who. No. This was a completely different genre, but Jimmy and Robert were delighted as they found the members of Fairport Convention gathered backstage. Sandy Denny immediately said that she was amazed and delighted to find gentler, folk-like influences in Led Zeppelin's music, and the others clapped and nodded. Over a few glasses of red wine and one or two nice clean lines of coke, the two bands decided to surprise the audience and jam at Led Zeppelin’s next performance.

As they grouped together afterwards, Jimmy and Robert couldn’t find praise enough for their new, unlikely friends. In particular, Sandy’s clear, gentle, magical voice had found its way straight into their hearts. Very late, or possibly rather early in the morning, a pretty drunk and very high Jimmy leaned right between Robert and Sandy who had sat next to each other, chatting and laughing amicably. He put an unsteady arm around each of their shoulders and slurred: “Sandy, we need you. You need to sing for us. Robert will write you a song and I will write you music. I love you Sandy.” He gave her a sloppy, bearded kiss on the cheek, and she wrinkled her face and laughed. Jimmy turned to his other side and for a moment, looked as if he saw Robert for the first time. Robert looked up at Jimmy with a mix of amusement and surprise; after all, as a rule, Led Zeppelin never invited any other musicians to join their recording sessions. But Jimmy smiled his sweet, innocent smile and slurred “…but I still love you more, gorgeous” before he placed a lingering kiss right on Robert’s lips. Of course, everyone was too merry to read anything else into it. But Jimmy stood back up, wobbling dangerously. He tipped his finger against his nose, missing it twice, a twinkle in his eye, and slurred “wait and see…Jimmy is scheming again!”


	23. No Quarter Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi my lovelies, so I'm posting this weekend's chapter a bit early because I know I'll be busy the next few days. But I didn't want to keep you waiting again, I know you've had to be really patient with me lately.  
> Robert and Jimmy are back from tour and November has arrived in England. At last they live together and share normal, everyday life in the peace and quiet of Jimmy's Boathouse. Life should be good. But is it?

Icy rain pounded the large front windows of Jimmy’s Boathouse and dusk settled quickly over the churning river Thames. Gust upon gust of freezing wind howled down the chimney and the fire flickered, almost dying to embers one moment and blazing up again the next. 

November had come with force, cold, dark and wet. Robert stood at the window, looking over to the trees on the other side of the river, which moved and bent in the wind like dark, ghostly figures. Occasionally, a flurry of damp, dead leaves raced past the widow pane and Robert hugged himself against the cold. The fire and heating meant that it was warm inside the house, but somehow, he felt as if the cold outside penetrated him deep inside and he shivered. 

Over at the far end of the room in the corner, on a large chair with a delicate flowery pattern, Jimmy sat, with a book on his lap that looked heavy enough to crush him. A pad and pen sat on the arm rest. Occasionally Jimmy reached for them and made notes.

As Robert turned away from the window to look at his love, he instantly felt warmer. Jimmy looked cosy. A stylish reading lamp leaned over him, all chrome and gleaming and he was bathed in soothing, warm light. He looked unusually homely: his hair not even shoulder long, but curly and wild, his beard covering more than half his face, which looked even rounder like this; he wore a delicate maroon silk scarf, his favourite huge jumper, thick and woolen, grey with a black and white pattern and baggy blue jeans. He sat in a half- lotus, no doubt to somehow support the huge book with its elegant dark blue cover. 

Robert smiled. Jimmy didn’t look like the wily, dark and sexy young rock prodigy people knew him to be and he didn’t act like it either. He looked like a young farmer who knew that the crops were safely stored and his animals comfortable in their stables. A farmer who was ready to wind down for winter, knowing that he had done everything to bring his home though the cold winter months ahead. 

Somehow it fitted, Robert thought. The last three months had been wild and busy, great fun and yet utterly exhausting. Just when the band returned from their intense 6th American tour, it was time to release Led Zeppelin III. The launch party was as always magnificent, Ahmed had made sure of that. 

As usual, the press had ripped them apart: they had got completely riled up about Led Zeppelin going all “soft” and loosing their vigour. There had been a few angry outbursts and some drunken tears from Jimmy, but they had soon dried up when their album flew off the shelves. “See, my darling, its almost as if bad press has become a sign for the fans that our albums are the best” Robert had told him, whilst he led his unsteady partner gently to the waiting limousine outside. 

It was strange being back here after all the excitement, parties, travels and exhaustion. Robert sometimes found himself in a sterile hotel bed on tour, unsure of where exactly they were that night and had dreamed himself back to normality. But now, it felt somewhat anti-climactic. It was as if he was still deafened from the music and the noise, as if something had been lost. 

He took a deep breath and slowly walked over to Jimmy. He was sure that any thoughts of missing the excitement on tour would soon subside as it started to sink in that their once unreachable dream had indeed come true: here they were, living together, sharing their normal, everyday life, just as any happily united couple would. No one questioned their relationship anymore; they didn’t have to hide or make excuses to their friends and families. They were well protected from any outside influences by the powerful networks of the great Peter Grant who was always out there on the watch and ensured Jimmy and Robert’s peace and safety with whatever methods necessary. This was more than either of them could have ever dreamed off when they realised that they had, against all odds, so deeply fallen in love with each other. 

But here they were, sharing mealtimes, listening to music and cuddling up together at night-time in their antique, king seized bed. Even their cleaner was part of the network and of course the roadies who did their shopping and helped Jimmy improve his home studio to ever greater perfection. This winter was set to become as peaceful and cosy as any winter could possibly get.

Robert squatted next to Jimmy and Jimmy looked up from his studies, smiling sweetly through his beard. “Hey” Robert said, “what are you working on today?”   
“Just preparing for my next grade again” Jimmy replied, “my mentor wanted me to really go through this part bit by bit. It’s called ‘The law of Liberty’ and she said I need to rethink some of my ideas. She thinks I might have taken the text too literal.” Jimmy sighed and continued. “To be honest, at first I was a little offended. I’m a high grade already and I know that everything Crowley wrote has layers upon layers and must never be taken directly at face value. But the more I consider every part with care and attention, the more I realise she was of course right. Here, look at this part: ‘The sun is arisen; the spectre of the ages has been put to flight. The word of Sin is Restriction, or as it has been otherwise said on this text: That is Sin, to hold thine holy spirit in!’ It’s not just beautiful, once you start to really explore it, analyse it, use gematria and….” Robert smiled quietly and just listened. As much as Jimmy refused to ever discuss his studies with anyone else, Robert had by now become a trusted sounding board for Jimmy, even if he did not even understand half of what Jimmy told him. Robert was just glad that Jimmy was so completely comfortable with him, sharing with him what he was otherwise bound by oath not to disclose. 

He almost missed when Jimmy stopped talking. “Robert!” Jimmy called him and leaned forward, cupping Robert’s chin in his gentle hand. “Come here” Robert leaned up and stretched himself to kiss Jimmy, but the ginormous book got in the way. Jimmy chuckled quietly and tried to move it away to the small table next to him. It was so heavy that he struggled. Robert helped him and Jimmy smiled “sorry, this is the largest of Crowley’s books! The Blue Equinox! Much sought after!” Robert replied, cheekily, that any book bigger than that would be ridiculous, before he folded his arms around Jimmy’s slender frame and kissed him sweetly.

The kiss soon became more heated, with both men breathing heavily with their rising needs. They knew each other so well. No words were necessary for both of them to move off the comfortable chair and up to the bedroom.

Their love making was easy and familiar. They knew each other’s bodies. They knew what the other one needed and how to get what they wanted. They knew that their trust was deep enough to completely get lost in each other. 

Afterwards, Robert held Jimmy who was, as usual, quietly resting on Robert’s large chest, listening to his heartbeat. Robert caressed Jimmy’s curls and marvelled at the feeling of the other man’s hairy face against his skin. Jimmy’s breath evened out and became deep and peaceful as he fell asleep. The ceaseless howling of the November wind and the gusts of rain against the bedroom window seemed magnified in the silence. Robert looked down at his sleeping love. 

And suddenly it hit him. Jimmy looked like a father. Robert felt a raising of unexplained fear and unease inside him that led let to a night spent with his thoughts spinning around like the storm outside and a heavy heart filled with dread.


	24. No Quarter Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a day of disquiet, Jimmy heads out. Robert struggles. A knock on the door changes everything,

At some point, Robert must have fallen asleep. He only realised it when he was awoken by the smell of freshly brewed coffee next to his face and Jimmy’s hand in his hair. “Hello sleepyhead” Jimmy’s soft voice teased him, “it’s almost midday!” Robert blinked heavily, sleep fusing his eyes shut. “Didn’t fall asleep until late” he mumbled hoarsely. Jimmy pulled back a little, a look of concern on his pretty face. “Love, are you alright? Are you feeling poorly?” 

“’m fine” Robert replied, sounding gruffer than he wanted to: “just a bit tired.” Jimmy instantly smiled again and carefully handed him the coffee, which Robert gratefully accepted.

After a good, hot shower, Robert started to feel more human again and joined Jimmy downstairs, who was preparing a hearty English breakfast. The smell of sizzling bacon, fried bread and bubbling beans made Robert’s stomach growl and as Jimmy elegantly plated an array of sausages, toast, beans, mushrooms and other steaming hot goods for them, he had quite forgotten about his uneasy night. They talked happily for a while, laughing about some of the things that had happened on their last tour, bouncing ideas for new music around and Jimmy gave a rather impressive demonstration of one particularly difficult part of a ritual he was currently trying to learn. When he swooped his arm down, he accidentally knocked his teacup off the table. Hot liquid splashed and drenched Robert’s trousers and the delicate china shattered on the hardwood floor. 

Robert jumped up as Jimmy apologised profusely. Robert quickly cooled his thigh with cold water in the kitchen and returned with a brush and dustpan. Jimmy offered to clean up, but Robert was quicker. As he bent down and gathered the shards, his feeling of fear and dread returned with such force, it almost doubled him over. Jimmy instantly noticed and put his arm around Robert’s shoulder, looking worried and confused. “Robert, my dearest, whatever is the matter?” He asked, but Robert just shook his head. He did not understand it either. He forced a smile on his face and replied “No, its ok, I’m fine…just got a little burned on my leg I guess.” Jimmy kissed the top of Robert’s ever-growing curls and took the brush and dustpan off him. “It’s ok love, let me take over” he offered and this time, Robert quietly agreed.  
He made his way out to the balcony, shaking a cigarette from its pack, lighting it and watched the smoke slowly drift away. Last night’s storm had subsided, and the day was calm, quiet and overcast. It felt warmer again, but in a strange, murky way. Robert watched the wide river flow past below him, grey and heavy but no longer churning. 

A memory came back to him, vivid and clear: the water gleaming in the moonlight, Jimmy pushing his pretty mahogany boat to its limits, spray flying up and their laughter drifting away through the night. That magical first time Robert had spent with Jimmy at his boathouse. How did he not realise back then that he had already hopelessly fallen in love with Jimmy? Surely, he should have realised it when they arrived on the little island that night, when they played “truth or dare” and Robert had said “…but men don’t kiss”. He could see Jimmy’s youthful face in his memory, lit up by the full moon, as if it were yesterday. The way Jimmy had bent over him, his soft, full lips half open, how he had simply replied “…don’t they?” With hindsight Robert realised that every fibre in his body had wanted nothing more than to kiss those velvety, strawberry lips until they were red and raw. 

Robert sighed deeply. And here they were, together, like a good married couple. It should be bliss. ‘Why then, do you feel so down?’ He asked himself. Was it because, deep down, he felt some stirring of guilt that he was sharing his life with Jimmy, instead of, as any good husband, with his wife and child? Did he miss Carmen? Or was it something completely different…the knowledge maybe, that he, Robert, could never have a child with the person he truly loved? Maybe that, if Jimmy stayed faithful to him, Jimmy would never become a father. Robert tossed the cigarette end into the grey water and watched it drift away.

That afternoon, Jimmy seemed very busy: first, he continued to study, but this time, he didn’t share any of his new ideas and findings with Robert. Then he left the living room altogether, saying that he had some ideas for guitar licks and wanted a few hours undisturbed in his studio. Robert felt even more uneasy now. Of course, Jimmy had caught on to his strange, dark mood. He was staying out of Robert’s way and Robert didn’t like it. 

The fast, early onset of darkness outside didn’t help, and it started raining again, soft and gentle at first, gradually growing stronger, falling steadily in ever increasing drops. Like someone who had started to weep silently and built up to cry openly. Suddenly, Jimmy appeared in the living room door, leaning against its frame. He looked somewhat dishevelled and Robert could tell that he had had a few whiskeys to help his creative process. “I’ve called Keith” he said without any preambles. Keith was their roadie ‘on duty’ that day, which meant that he would come around to help in whichever way they needed, whether that was to mend broken strings or cables, give them a lift to the pub or simply get some food shopping done. 

“We’re running out of booze and I’m going with him to stock up.” Robert just nodded, but pulled himself together and offered, as brightly as he could: “would you like me to come with you?” Jimmy shook his head. “Nah, it’s fine…you guard the home fires or something.” With that, he flopped into his favourite flowery chair and moved his heavy book onto his lap. Although Robert was sure that Jimmy was not really capable to study the complex texts of the Blue Equinox in his state, he got the message loud and clear: leave me alone Robert, you grumpy sod. As soon as Keith appeared at the door, Jimmy jumped up and was gone. 

To Robert, it felt as if Jimmy had been away for an eternity. It had been dark for ages. The rain was falling steadily. Was it really only 8pm? With a start, he realised that he had got very used to having Jimmy in his close proximity at all times; ever since their time at Bron yr Aur in spring, they had been joined by the hip, and hardly spent any time apart at all. This was ridiculous, the sensible part of Robert’s brain told him. All couples spend a bit of time apart. It’s healthy. It’s important. And Jimmy has just gone with Keith to get some more booze. No big deal. 

But he has gone for almost two hours, the whiny part of Robert’s brain answered. So what, he replied to himself, he’s a big boy. I’m a big boy too. They’ve probably nipped into the pub for a few drinks and a laugh with the locals. And the moany part instantly replied: yes, and to charm the panties off the local ladies. Damn you, he replied to himself, Robert Plant, since when are you the jealous type? That is not hippy at all, damn you, damn you. You don’t own Jimmy. And besides, you should have a bit of faith in your man, shouldn’t you now, Robert. But what if Keith got sloshed too and now, they are laying in a ditch, injured and drenched and freezing? The irrational part of Robert’s brain whinged. Enough, he replied to himself, our Keith has always brought everyone back safe. Robert looked over to the cabinet where they kept their weed and thought that maybe, a good smoke would help him relax and calm down but somehow, his body wouldn’t obey, and he couldn’t get himself off the sofa. He resumed his grumbling inner dialogue and resolved himself to a lonely evening of misery.

A noise at the front door made him jump. It sounded like some sort of scratching and unsteady steps. Was Jimmy back at last? He thought, feeling joyful all of a sudden like a dog welcoming his master back after being left alone in the house. Maybe he was too drunk to unlock the door? Robert was on his feet in no time. But he stopped dead in his tracks as he heard three distinctive knocks. Jimmy would not knock his own front door, he realised with sudden fright. But who else would knock on their door in the pouring November rain at almost 11 o’clock at night? 

He carefully approached the front door and called through the letter box: “Hello, who is there?” A weak, female voice answered: “please…” nothing more. But she sounded so desolate and pleading that Robert’s caring and kind side pushed any fear or doubt aside and he opened the door instantly. On the threshold, he found a young woman, streaming with water, shivering with cold and, from the little he could see in the dark, dressed in rags. Her eyes were wide with fear at the sight of Robert, but she didn’t move away either. There was a strange, faint familiarity about her, but Robert didn’t feel capable to dwell on it. Any capacity to think was swept away by an overwhelming urge to help. He stepped aside, gesturing towards the warm, bright home behind him. “My dear young lady, please do come in. I’m sure we can figure out a way to help you!” As she stepped from the darkness into the light, Robert was able to see her features more clearly. She looked different from what he remembered: haggard, exhausted, dishevelled, soaked through with rain. And yet, he recognised her instantly.


	25. No Quarter Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy's pov...after his friends managed to cheer him up, he has pretty much forgotten about the tense mood that prevailed the last two nights. But as he returns home, he is in for the shock of his life.

“’S no fair” Jimmy slurred. “He’s supposed to be Mr Sunshine himself.”

On a whim, Jimmy had asked Keith to drive him to his old friend Jack’s café after buying a large supply of the best wines, ales, whiskeys and beers available in Pangbourne. Of course, Jack’s café was closed in the evening, but Jack lived in a small bedsit above the café and always had a few whiskeys, a cup of tea and a kind word ready for his young friend. 

This night was no different: “Ehh young Jimmy! Come on in, this rain is gonna kill you!” He called out, his old eyes lighting up as soon as he saw who had knocked on his door. As Jimmy drudged up the steep staircase, his faithful roadie close behind, Jack added cheerfully: “didn’t expect to see you so soon! Aren’t you all shacked up with your gorgeous fella?” 

Behind Jimmy, Keith quickly drew his hand across his throat to shut Jack up, and the old man instantly understood, mumbling “oh…well, I’ve just put the kettle on! Come on in!”

As the evening went on, Jimmy and Jack got increasingly drunk and the mood improved considerably. Jimmy and Keith took great pleasure telling Jack their craziest stories about life on the road. “Hey, hey!” Jimmy gesticulated wildly. “Remember that one Keith? I didn’t even know about it until later…well, Robert and me and Peter and a few others left that place early…was it Seattle? Yeah, we left early because it was getting mad with crazy fans and Peter thought it was safer for us but, but…Keith, Keith you stayed, didn’t you?” Keith nodded and sighed “yeah, I did, unfortunately. It was bonkers.” “Tell him Keith, tell him!” Jimmy insisted. Keith rolled his eyes and sighed. “Well, yeah, Robert and Jimmy and some of our crew were secreted away early but Richard, Bonzo and a few others stayed a bit longer. See, The Edgewater Inn in Seattle is quite a wicked place to be, because its right next to the sea and you can sit on the balcony and fish without ever leaving the hotel. Bonz and Rich loved it, didn’t want to leave.” 

Jimmy burst out laughing, even though Keith hadn’t said anything further, whiskey spraying from his mouth. Poor old Jack looked a little alarmed as Jimmy launched into a coughing fit. Keith waited patiently and patted Jimmy’s back, before he continued: “so yeah, there were the girls too. That evening, they simultaneously caught a beautiful little red head and a fucking mud shark!” “Oh god” Jack mumbled, “I’m not sure I want to hear the rest.” 

Eventually, Jack started to nod off right where he sat in his chair, and Keith couldn’t stop yawning. Jimmy was in splendid mood at last, his troubles quite forgotten as he hugged Jack until his ribs cracked when it was time to say good night. He leaned on Keith’s shoulder as the other man led him to the car, singing “Whole Lotta Love” as loud and out of tune as he could. Keith unlocked the door for Jimmy after he noticed that Jimmy dropped his keys twice. He gave him a little wave and left as the door fell shut behind Jimmy.

Jimmy found Robert at the large round kitchen table. He was fiddling with his hands and looked tense and thoughtful. Jimmy was too drunk to think, he just sauntered over to Robert, who got up slowly. Jimmy plopped himself into Robert’s arms, slurring “Robert, Robert my love! Mr Sunshine! I’ve missed ya.” And finally, something started to get through to his whiskey-soaked brain. The way Robert was holding him was odd. No, not odd, disconcerting; Robert was clutching at Jimmy with all his might: he was holding Jimmy in a way a soldier holds his sweetheart before going off to war. Jimmy pulled back, as far as he could against Robert’s powerful hold. “R-Robert?” Jimmy mumbled, trying desperately to get his brain in gear: “what’s wrong mylove?”

Before Robert was able to find words,there were steps on the stairs, the light dread of a bare footed woman. And Jimmy turned, staring, suddenly feeling stone cold sober. “What, Robert? Who..? How…?” Jimmy tried to steady himself and think. The young woman had evidently just emerged from the shower: her pretty, fair hair was just about towel dry, hiding her face, and she was wearing one of Robert’s t-shirts and one of Jimmy’s woollen jumpers; both were miles too large on her skinny frame. Her pale, slender legs were bare, obviously Robert had not found any bottoms for her to wear. But the wide, baggy clothes could not hide the smooth, unmistakable rounding of her stomach.

Jimmy wanted to throw up badly. Between heaving breaths, he gasped: “Charlotte! What the fuck are you doing here?!” He tried to lunge at her, shouting “she is evil! She is an evil spirit! Apo pantos kakodaimonos!”* But Robert held him back. He grasped Jimmy’s face with both his hands, unusually rough, his eyes boring into Jimmy’s. He spoke clear and calmly: “No. You it down. Now. Sober up. And fucking listen to her!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"Apo pantos kakodaimonos": "away evil spirit"; beginning of The Start Ruby, one of Aleister Crowley's magick rituals to ban evil spirits and call on protection.


	26. No Quarter – Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte's story. How does Jimmy cope?

Jimmy slumped down in the chair furthest away from Charlotte, who sat, hugging herself protectively, her face barely visible below her tangled hair.  
Jimmy just couldn’t look up. With every second in her presence he felt his life crumble and fall apart. His life with Robert. The only person he wanted to share both good and difficult times with. 

Robert meanwhile returned from the kitchen, balancing three cups of hot, steaming tea. He put Jimmy’s down first, and somehow, Jimmy found this significant.   
Robert put the other mugs down quickly and slowed down as he approached Jimmy. He hesitated for a moment before he pulled the nearest chair up to him and sat down, looking at Jimmy with growing kindness. He briefly glanced at Charlotte who gazed firmly into her teacup. Robert held Jimmy’s face lovingly and brushed a black lock out of his forehead. He bent forwards and placed a gentle kiss right there. Jimmy closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. Robert spoke softly: “Jimmy, my love. We’ll be fine, I promise. Listen to her. But know that I am not angry with you. Please, dearest, know that I love you, always.”

Jimmy leaned forwards and Robert held him until Jimmy slowly sat up again. In a toneless voice he said: “Ok. I’m ready to listen.”

Charlotte cleared her throat twice, as if she wanted to make sure that her voice hadn’t disappeared. She quickly took a sip of her tea and hid well that it scalded the inside of her mouth. When she spoke, her voice was high, hoarse and her soft French accent was distinctly pronounced:

“You see, after I left Bron Yr Aur I went to stay with Heather and Roger Daltrey in their big old mansion in Essex for a bit. They were more than happy to have me at first. I was feeling quite alright, free and happy. I knew that me and Jimmy didn’t work out. Like I said, it wasn’t a good idea from the start. So, all was well, that is…” she halted and rubbed her face. “Well, until I started to get sick. I couldn’t touch any alcohol and I threw up when I smelled smoke or any greasy food. A could barely eat…yet I put on weight.”

“Roger was joking that I looked blossoming and how was that possible since I was sick all the time. But Heather worked it out. She took me to their family GP and he confirmed that I was indeed expecting. And somehow, after that things went sour…you see, Roger Daltrey has quite a temper. Me being pregnant reminded him too much of having been forced to marry his girlfriend very, very young because he got her pregnant and all the trouble that came with it. 

Heather, I think she got jealous and angry too. She kept shouting at him because he still hadn’t divorced his first wife. I was locking myself away and cried most of the time. I knew I couldn’t just get back to my family…they are strict Catholics, they have disowned me long ago because they despise my lifestyle. If I turned up, like that, unmarried and…” Jimmy jumped up as if he had been stung by a bee. “No!” He shouted forcefully “No, you witch, don’t even think that I would…!” He didn’t get to finish. Robert pulled him back down and pressed Jimmy’s face against his strong chest until he felt the other man relax again. 

By now, Charlotte started to weep again: “Jimmy, no. no, of course not. It’s not why I’m here…” Her voice grew higher and she pressed her hand in front of her mouth as her face contorted with pain. She sobbed: “It’s just, it’s…I have nowhere else to go!” Robert quickly moved around the table and hugged her tightly. “It’s ok, darling” he reassured her “you’ve done the right thing…but continue, so he understands” He passed her a big white linen handkerchief and sat back down next to Jimmy. 

Charlotte blew her nose and continued, a little calmer: “I couldn’t stay with Roger and Heather. I was the cause for their arguments. So, I left and went to London, to stay with friends from the modelling scene. Of course, it wasn’t a posh mansion but I was grateful for the small basement backroom they offered me. They were partying 20/7. I wasn’t really sure who lived there. People came and went all the time. There were always a few lines of coke on the kitchen table, plenty of booze and just about anything else you can imagine. Naked girls and men in underwear lounging around the filthy living room were basically part of the furniture. I didn’t mind any of that. They left me in peace, and I had a room. But then one night, the police raided the place. We all got arrested. When they realised that I was pregnant and clearly had nothing in my system, after they confirmed that my room was the only clear one in the house, they let me go.”

“But now, I had nowhere to go. I have other friends, don’t get me wrong, but they are in the States. I didn’t even have money for food or a bus to the next police station or refuge! I felt that I had no choice. I hitch- hiked all the way back to my parent’s house, using the last bit of my jewellery and any half-decent clothes to bribe drivers and the people on the ferry.

“At first, my parents weren’t actually too horrible. They had their wayward daughter back. Of course, they endlessly preached and gloated about how they had been right all along and that I was now doomed and outcast and had nothing but hell waiting for me even after death. But at least they did take me in. After I recovered a little, I raised with them that I didn’t feel I had a choice but to abort, and that is when they went absolutely mental. My father got his old belt and hit me until I was covered in marks. My mother rang the church. And two hours later, I was bundled up to the nearest Catholic convent.” Jimmy flinched. He had heard the stories. This was only going to get worse. 

Charlotte continued: “it was as torturous as any of the stories you’ve heard. Hard physical labour even for those highly pregnant. Girls around me miscarried in the late stages. Some where carted off and I don’t know if they lived or died. But the emotional torture was the worst. How we had sinned. How we were all unworthy, filthy and dirty and…” She broke down again, crying loudly. This time, it took her several minutes to be able to continue. 

She took a very deep breath. “And then…one day, I found one of the other girls, completely devastated, hiding in a corner in the garden. She was crying hard and her wrists were bleeding badly. I wanted to call for help but she begged me, on her life, not to. Said something incoherent that if she was dead and her baby too, at least they would be together. I made a makeshift bandage from my skirt. Now, this girl, she was due to have her baby anytime soon. I said something like, well at least you’ll be out of here and can have a new start with your little one. And she said…she said, don’t you know? They take our babies. Sometimes they let us see them. Sometimes they let us feed them once. Then they tear them from us…they get adopted…”She sobbed mightily, but continued, determination in her voice: “That night, me and the other girl fled and run off. A kind young hippy gave us a lift all the way to Calais. 

My new friend and the lad fell in love during the drive and I hope they are happy together. But me, I had to leave France. I was terrified that they’d find me. I…well, I had to do the custom and ferry guys a favour or two…” she wrinkled her face with disgust. “But here I am, back were I started…and as I stood in the port of Dover at night I thought, I thought…it takes two to make a baby…at least, Jimmy, at least you should know.”

There she ended. She was no longer crying but looked completely drained. Jimmy didn’t say anything. He looked as if the weight of the world had been squarely planted on his skinny shoulders. He didn’t question if the baby was his. He knew this child was. He had been together with her all the time and despite her open nature, she was a sweet, faithful girl with old-fashioned values once committed. 

Finally, Jimmy stood up, and walked over to Charlotte. She flinched but be sat next to her, facing her for the first time, catching her eye. He held both her hands and spoke at last:  
“Charlotte. They would have taken my child away and given it to strangers. Thank you…thank you for saving…my child.”


	27. No Quarter Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything changes. The old is left behind and the new is yet to come.  
> This stage in our boy's lives seems like a good point to end The Great unknown - Book 2, also called Night Flight, before this books becomes too long and cumbersome for you all to search through. But I hope you will all be following me over to my brand- new book, which will start next weekend: "Houses of the Holy", also called The Great Unnamed Book 3! Will Jimmy manage to adapt to becoming a father? Will Charlotte cope with her new life and a new baby? How is Robert going to cope? Is Jimmy going to become the occult master magician he has been training for so long? Will Boleskine House stand or fall?  
> And above all, how will they cope with their growing fan base, the pressure, the expectations, the glamour? There is so much more to come: Led Zep's unnamed album, The Rain Song, Kashmir, The Song Remains the Same. But tragedy waits just around the corner, in more ways than one, until the question becomes unavoidable: is Led Zeppelin cursed?  
> As we all know, the Best is yet to come! And, I'm afraid, the worst too. Hope you enjoy this chapter and hope to see you all with my new Book next weekend as usual! Love you all xx

Jimmy bent forwards and quickly hugged Charlotte. Robert tried to read the look on his face, but it was hidden by a veil of black curls. And before Robert could stop Jimmy, he walked off briskly and left. Robert could hear his steps on the stairs leading upwards and the bedroom door close behind him.

Robert was torn again – he wanted to follow Jimmy and make sure that he was alright. But one look at Charlotte told him that he needed to care for her first. She looked ashen and completely exhausted. Robert smiled at her gently and offered to show her the guest bedroom, which she gratefully accepted. It was only once he was sure that she had all she needed and was comfortable and safe, that he allowed himself to finally go to his bedroom too.

He found Jimmy sprawled out across the whole bed, his long limbs easily reaching each corner, as he laid, flat on his stomach on the flowery sheets. He was fully dressed but appeared sound asleep.

Robert got undressed quickly and very gently moved Jimmy to the side, and that was when he noticed that Jimmy was not asleep. He bent over Jimmy, sensing that all was not well. As he gently stroked the soft locks out of the other man’s face, he noticed that his cheeks were damp with tears. Robert bent further down and kissed the wet cheek when Jimmy whispered: “O Robert, what have I done?” Robert immediately hugged Jimmy, moving Jimmy’s head onto his chest, trying to have as much body contact with him as possible. 

Jimmy allowed himself to cry more openly now, holding onto Robert for dear life. Robert held him close, but he was unable to find any words of comfort. As Robert held his love, the gravity of the situation kept sinking in more and more. He felt his own importance in Jimmy’s life weaning away: Charlotte was the mother of Jimmy’s child, and Robert nothing but his very secret lover. A love that should have never been in the first place. A love nobody must ever know about, apart from their little sacred circle. A love that could put them all at risk, still. Yet with Charlotte, Jimmy would be able to pose openly. He could marry her. Here look, world, my wife, my child. I’m a rock star but also a lovely family man. Did anyone ever suggest that I was anything other than straight? Nonsense. Here is the proof.

I am ridiculous, Robert told himself. I have a wife and a child too. And I love them. And I care for them. But not like you love Jimmy, another voice counteracted immediately. And you’ve had both before Jimmy came into your life.

Robert pressed Jimmy tighter to his chest, with a sudden feeling of impending loss, and the will to make each minute that the love of his life was still willing to lay in his arms, count. To never forget how it felt to hold him close, to feel his warmth, his long, wiry frame, his sharp knees and elbows, his hipbones pressed against Robert’s. 

“Say something” Jimmy whispered from where he was curled against Robert’s chest, his voice audibly constricted by grief. Robert tried. He couldn’t say anything. He noticed that he was crying too, and his throat hurt with suppressed sobs. Jimmy tried again, this time a little louder but still compressed by tears: “Robert, Robert please. I love you!” Robert finally replied, speaking fast as he knew he couldn’t get the words out otherwise: “I love you too, Jimmy. Please…don’t stop loving me!” This time, Jimmy replied immediately and with passion, whilst he crushed Robert’s chest with his strong arms: “Robert, that’s never gonna happen! You! The only one! My only love!”

They continued to lay together, crying, Jimmy’s face against Robert’s chest, Robert’s face in Jimmy’s hair until sleep took mercy on them and they finally drifted off.  
The next morning, something had changed. Robert felt the cold as soon as he awoke. Next to him, Jimmy lay still, sleeping softly and deep. Pale morning light crept through the curtains and Robert could tell that it was still early. Everything was completely silent. 

Robert shuddered and drew the blankets closer around him, but he felt too unsettled to try to get back to sleep. As he left the bed, the air felt sharp with ice and he quickly grabbed a t-shirt and found his thickest woollen jumper, a hideous thing with psychedelic patterns which he dimly remembered had been gifted to him by a fan. Even after he was dressed, he barely felt any warmer and as he opened the curtains, he noticed that the first frost had fallen. 

It looked magical and he spontaneously decided to leave the house and walk. He craved fresh, icy air. As he walked along the wide, lazy river, he felt his spirits lift a little. The world had been transformed by frost from a grey, wild and rain battered land to one of wonder and beauty. Over the low horizon, the sun rose, pink and fresh, surrounded by a dazzling halo of bright yellow and gentle blue. Every blade of frost covered grass reflected the colours and crunched deliciously as he walked along. The trees, devoid of leaves after the recent storm, stood stark and black against the bright sky and the rose bushes, which had bloomed so richly in summer, set early festive contrasts with their bright red rose-hips, each covered with its own unique set of little glittering crystals.

Nature knows, Robert thought, how to transform the end of one episode into something new, something amazing. Life hasn’t ended. Love hasn’t ended. This could be the beginning of something special, and magical, if they were all able to open their hearts and minds far enough to overcome fear. And the experience of this life-changing turn of events could give a whole new direction to their music, a depth neither Jimmy nor Robert had been able to reach before. Maybe, the best was yet to come.

As Robert returned, he found that the house had warmed up very nicely and his skin prickled pleasantly as he took his coat and boots off. He followed the smell of cooked breakfast and freshly brewed tea and the friendly mix of Bert Jansch’s music mingled with quiet conversation. As he walked into the dining room, Jimmy got up from where he’d sat opposite Charlotte and Robert caught him in his arms. This was actually nice, he thought, warm and nice and homely. And he felt that Jimmy’s love for him had indeed not changed at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again and thank you very much to everyone who has stuck with me. Ideally, you would have read The Great Unnamed book 1 first but if you gave up on it, don't worry. I know it got kinda long, sorry, please feel free to just read this one instead. This is really Great Unnamed Book 2 but it seems that having almost the same title confuses readers so I've renamed it. Hope this helps to give some clarity and more people get to enjoy this new book iven if they haven't read book 1. Any kudos or comments, including constructive criticism will truly make me happy and help me become a better author!  
> Usual disclaimer applies - I don't own anything and most of it is made up by the author who is a rather love-struck fool.


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